Originally Posted by substitute
Well I have to say I can spot the bull but depending on the situation I can fall for the guilt trips but I know what I'm getting into if and when I do. I agree that the ENFPs I konw usually do get what they want, much more than I do.
My sister also tries a lot harder, to please people by giving to them her time, money, patience, forgiveness etc, while my brother tries to please by generally showing off and making people laugh and enjoy themselves. She seems a lot more spiritual than he is.
Well the ENFPS (most of them) I know are also spiritual but def they please by making people laugh and enjoy themselves...slightly less sincere I think (at least the ones I know)
Although she's an intelligent and outspoken woman, she's been in two abusive relationships in a row, and I think she gets there because she gives in too easily to boyfriends' demands, the sorts of demands that abusive control freaks make with an aim of isolating and controlling you. Even when she finally gets sense talked into her and leaves these jerks, she puts up with them phoning her and won't just unplug the phone. She gets upset and talks about how she really could just give him another chance and try to make it work.
I can see a young ENFJ being in that situation. I think that an ENFJ who has developed their other functions well will be able to spot the storm clouds in that kind of relationship brewing and beat up themselves for getting involved but they also would be OUTTA THERE before it got worst.
Jack on the other hand, just goes for girls who will worship him, basically, and leads them along for years, working on them and improving them (as he sees it), before they split up and he does the whole 'staying friends' thing long beyond the point where everyone else can see it's not helping the girl to get over him.
If she's not happy with a situation with somebody, she puts up with it and grumbles behind their backs, but only to people she knows won't say anything about it. If he's unhappy with a situation, he'll manipulate the people involved until he is.