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  1. #31
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    Much moreso, I'd say.
    Really? I'd say that was us... the ENFJ's I know seem to always have a level of observable consistency in the way they present to different people, while I can find myself using different accents, totally different senses of humour and almost becoming a different person entirely depending who I'm with. I get the feeling that ENFJ chameleon-ing is more like just making different choices of what to say and how to say it best, but still people would know it was you if they heard a voice-distorted recording.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
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    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #32
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    So I posted this in the type confusion thread, but now I have a question about what I posted that I need ENFJ input on.


    ---

    Anyone else ever consistently type an ENFJ as ESFP (not all ENFJs, but more than once made the error)? Maybe it's a maturity/age thing of the ENFJ who appears ESFP, or maybe it's me not trying to get to know them well enough... but I really feel like ENFJs are people I connect with really well. And when I don't instantly and intuitively "recognize" them as ENFJ (as in, within two minutes of seeing them interact) I have trouble believing that they are actually ENFJ and not ESFP.

    There have been three or four people who I nkow have been tested and claim they are ENFJ but I really doubt these three or four people. I wonder if they even read the ESFP things and if it was just the Fourier effect.

    Or maybe there's something about it that I'm missing? Is this just b/c I'm assuming I'll have a recognizable "moment" with all ENFJs?

    Can ENFJs be really flighty and visibly, sometimes frequently, emotionally unstable? These three or four people all have high highs... but really weird lows. Like they didn't see what was coming and they got all depressed about it... when I would've assumed an ENFJ would've seen it coming.

    i've always seen ENFJs as emotionally stable. Sure, I've seen 'em express every sort of emotion, but in an emotionally stable way. And generally they don't cry for themselves, I've actually only seen ENFJs cry for others. These people were upset for themselves.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #33
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I've since thought about it... and after reading someone pointing out on another thread that ESFPs are "notorious" for testing as something they're not...

    I'm pretty sure my intuition knows an ENFJ just like I thought I did. And I'm pretty sure these few people whom I thought weren't ENFJ are actually ESFPs. (I was in a large group and we were all tested at once when I learned about MBTI.)

    Anyway. ENFJs, continue on. I could listen to you guys explain your inner thoughts/nuances/driving forces forever until I understood.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #34
    Member Elwin_Ransom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Anyway. ENFJs, continue on. I could listen to you guys explain your inner thoughts/nuances/driving forces forever until I understood.
    Understand an ENFJ? I'm not so sure that's possible. It's hard to really understand anyone outside of one's type. Come to think of it, it's really hard (for me, anyway) to figure out myself and how I relate to my own type.

    Alas, people are what motivate me. For better or worse, they tend to take the place of most important factor in decision making.

    I find it hard to be cutthroat, even when I need to be. I tend to care too much, I think. I lead others through charisma and knowledge, not through brute force. I think that can be a weakness. I tend to be a respected leader as such, but not always the most recognized. I tend to be the glue that keeps other friendships together. I tend to be the quiet, knowledgeable leader that doesn't blatantly drive others, but I plant the thoughts that make changes (hopefully for the better).

    Are those sufficient thoughts/nuances/driving forces?

    Of course, there is another driving force (two others, actually) that comes before all others.
    I'm a man, and I'm proud of it.

  5. #35
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    yeah, I think it just means that I'll be listening here in this thread forever if you guys keep talking

    Thanks for any and all replies. They all help me map out the framework of the ENFJ and better understand their perspective. I like going deeper.

    (For instance, I originally thought they ENFJ genuinely cared about every single person they smiled at, etc. Which I thought was impossible. But now I'm understanding the subtleties behind it.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #36
    Member Elwin_Ransom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    (For instance, I originally thought they ENFJ genuinely cared about every single person they smiled at, etc. Which I thought was impossible. But now I'm understanding the subtleties behind it.)
    Ah! Now that is a very significant subject to me! The smile. The smile is one of the most subtly powerful gestures in human arsenal. A smile can relay a lot of things, but, for me, more often than not, it's usually a way of silently saying, "Hey, I don't know you, but here's to hoping that you have a good day anyway." Do I truly, deeply care for everyone I smile to? Not necessarily, but that doesn't mean I can't wish them well in passing. Of course, that's not my favorite usage of smiling. My favorite is the form that says, "Hey, keep your chin up. You're awesome, and I'm here for you."

    Yes. I like that smile.

    Wait, this isn't the "dissect the various forms and applications of smiles" thread.
    I'm a man, and I'm proud of it.

  7. #37
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Really? I'd say that was us... the ENFJ's I know seem to always have a level of observable consistency in the way they present to different people, while I can find myself using different accents, totally different senses of humour and almost becoming a different person entirely depending who I'm with. I get the feeling that ENFJ chameleon-ing is more like just making different choices of what to say and how to say it best, but still people would know it was you if they heard a voice-distorted recording.
    I've been accused of seeming like a different person when I'm with two groups of friends at a time. I tend to hang out with certain compartmentalized groups individually, and the way I act with each of them is totally different.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    I've been accused of seeming like a different person when I'm with two groups of friends at a time. I tend to hang out with certain compartmentalized groups individually, and the way I act with each of them is totally different.
    Same here! And then when you get one person from one group and another from another group, coming together with you in the middle, do you find yourself really confused about how you're supposed to act, and worried they'll both think you're fake? LOL!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #39
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Okay.

    When ENFJs find a socially awkward but endearing NT who obviously was drawn to the ENFJ, what do they think? What do they feel? What about when this NT is younger and they're trying to help them grow?

    (I'm trying to figure out what one of my teachers thought of me way back in the day; I really liked her. I know she liked me but I want to know what she thought of me.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  10. #40
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Okay.

    When ENFJs find a socially awkward but endearing NT who obviously was drawn to the ENFJ, what do they think? What do they feel? What about when this NT is younger and they're trying to help them grow?

    (I'm trying to figure out what one of my teachers thought of me way back in the day; I really liked her. I know she liked me but I want to know what she thought of me.)
    I'm drawn to interesting people, and I think this is most likely true of all ENFJ's. I think we're drawn to people who most people brush off as "weird" because ENFJ's often feel weird themselves.

    I'm part of the crowd, yeah. I'm friends with all the popular kids, but I don't connect with them the way they connect with eachother. I just can't. I don't know how to. I feel much more at ease when I'm around someone who I don't feel like I have to impress, someone who is odd, and will appreciate me for me.

    Truth be told, I think much more highly of most NTJ's that I meet than SFP's.
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

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