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  1. #161
    Senior Member Koocoomoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zhash View Post
    It's amazing how ENFJs and INTJs feed off each other in a comical way. I know that my posts on this forum are often serious and reflective of what is inside of me (it's a safe environment) but I've been told by my ENFJ friends that I'm probably one of the most comical INTJs on the planet. I think it's the personality of the ENFJ that makes the INTJ come alive with humor. ENFJs verbalize what INTJs are thinking and then, they start feeding off each other. Creativity of thought and merriment is in abundance and it's truly a hysterical event when it all comes out......and when it's a tad bawdy, all hell breaks loose.
    They are beautifully sarcastic.

    Painfully Bipolar

  2. #162
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU View Post
    My inner life seems to be spent discerning "what's really going here". In the past this has been problematic. I've been surrounded by S's who are much more literal my entire life. I have no Intuitive friends IRL and get my "N-action" here. I take very little in life at face value as it's presented to me. I have voiced what I was thinking many times and gotten the response "you are reading too much into this/that" or "wow that was really deep" when I didn't think it had much depth at all. I trust my Ni without doubt generally much more than my feelings.

    I must test it. If the theory cannot be given an application or tested for it's validity in the realm of people I will generally disregard it. I am not going to type out a huge example (yes I'm lazy!) of this but I will give a brief one.
    Those are really spot on for the most part. Its difficult sometimes having a brain that's constantly judging & then questioning those judgments in an almost self-critical fashion. Everything must be tested. I'm way too blunt because Fe helps me sort out my feelings on judgments, even if I haven't really decided they are solid. That can get me into trouble big time (getting better at that with age). Most assumptions, however, are never spoken or are dropped before they are concluded. (This makes associating with IxTP types extremely difficult because they never give enough to conclude judgments so you feel like your stuck in a loop of judging them, then yourself for doing so, but never coming to conclusions.)

    If I come to a conclusion about something (like 'why someone is doing something'), I usually don't voice it. If it makes me want to act, or if I want the person to understand it, I use it in my head to come up with the colors of my dialogue / actions towards them that might bring them to realize it for themselves. Its actually easier for me to spout out judgments that I'm uncertain of then it is to say them if I'm convinced. There is this ever-looming cloud of self-judgment that makes it rule #1 not to ever consciously or intentionally step on toes. That's not to say I don't do it, but its a big no no... and usually the source when I have self doubt. I've figured that this has a lot to do with why criticism, especially when its about me being domineering or judgmental, really hits me hard.

    Conclusions, resolutions, win-win solutions... They sometimes seem like addictions or supplements. I need to have a consistent flow of them in order to feel alive in the sense that they prove to me that life is moving according to the way I naturally feel it should. So there is always a quiet cycle of analyzing & judging or looking for meaning going on in the back of my head. This usually freaks people out until they get to know me better & realize that these background judgments, when about people, hardly represent how I see them as an individual or whether or not I care for them.

    I am usually only happy when dealing with external things. As in, I can reflect on happiness ("hey! I feel great!") but only for short periods of time because the happiness comes from being out of my head. When I get upset I shut down & close off & I get upset when I have to do a lot of internal thinking or evaluating. (Fi or a Ti+Ni loop make me feel confused & sometimes selfish & bitter.)

    I find most experiences I try to have (like activities, even in spontaneity) are more for creating memories, strengthening connections with people, personal growth & finding meaning in life. They always have to have a reason... ("I really need to do something spontaneous. I've been too overwhelmed with routine lately.") This reasoning or justification for doing anything usually comes pretty natural, so I don't really notice it... but it's there.

    I'm going to end here & post more later if I think of it.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  3. #163
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    i've always seen ENFJs as emotionally stable.

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHahha hah!
    So do I, until I'm locked in the bathroom talking to myself all night. That's probably why the ENFJs moodiness is surprising to you. I think a lot of times we have really good control over what's going on, then, BAM: overload... bitchcakes. (or gloom x 5000)

    I find this is sort of connected to the source of that intensity we have. One minute I am like iron, then I'm dancing around squealing about the 'wonderful fluffy' life around me, then I'm raging like a tornado through everyone in my path. These can show up very far apart (and the second two are usually very temporary), so from the outside & when not in too close of company I probably seem pretty stable. I've been in a really unhealthy place for a year though. I'd probably be talking differently from another angle.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    So for that reason, I generally avoided that ENFJ. Even though I thought he was awesome. It made me tired to see how tired he got by his upteenth discussion about some important issue. It was more of an "if I were him, I'd want personal space to just rejuvenate by myself, and I can see he's tired, so I'll just leave him alone".
    I want to say something on this one, because I KNOW everyone I'm close to misunderstands it. I am never tired of helping people. It's where & how I get my energy, joy, vitality... But without feedback or appreciation (some sense or promise of resolution) it becomes draining because I don't feel like I'm really helping or giving at all, just wasting my time. Such as advice given over & over but never taken. Like when a person keeps coming back to the same story, same problem, I see the same solution, but they just won't LISTEN to me. It is nearly impossible to reject a request for help though, so I end up listening every time, & I actually have to suppress giving the same advice over & over, or assistance that didn't seem to work. I try to find new ways to say it, or to help. THIS is what's exhausting. Avoidance bothers me just as much, if its someone I truly am close to, because they aren't giving me the go ahead to help them when I've already picked up on so much of their situation that I feel compelled to. If the person isn't so close to me its easier to deal with the above, but it stills gets tiring with too much for too long.

    Being left alone or seeking solitude to 'recharge' is, to me, the equivalent of turning off a cellphone / laptop with a dead battery to make sure it'll turn back on again if there's an emergency. Sometimes it gives me a little juice, but it's usually a last resort to keep from collapsing, pure & simple. I can settle emotions with eliminating Fe for a while, but to feel "good", I usually have to join the living again & usually, laugh at something... with someone.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  4. #164
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHahha hah!
    Seconded!

    ENFJ = The Emotional Time-bomb.
    Tick.. Tick.. Tick..
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  5. #165
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    We *are* a bit unhinged. But we can take a heavy load at the same time. If others could feel the cattle-prod intensity we feel (and feel almost constantly), they'd thank their lucky stars they aren't us. They also might see how much we can control ourselves. You're only seeing a few leaks through the dam holding back walls of emotion.

    Not sure if that makes us worth it or not. If yes, grand. If not, I'm already plotting to truly degrade and take over a third world country.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #166
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    If others could feel the cattle-prod intensity we feel (and feel almost constantly), they'd thank their lucky stars they aren't us.
    right on. Not to sound all 'martyr-ey', but I often think about this. I feel bad when I outright say (in my head) that I'd rather be less complicated, apathetic or carefree. (My two best friends are ESFP & ISTP, I often envy them.) But I do indulge this kind of fantasy from time to time where I imagine people just sort of transferring into my head / feelings & being so overwhelmed they just collapse. I used to do it all the time as a kid, I thought no one could handle it.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  7. #167
    Glycerine
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    Random thought: you can't stand people that ruin the atmosphere for everyone but you don't want to create more conflict. As a result, you confront the person as a last resort. It's a weird balancing act.

  8. #168
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    We *are* a bit unhinged. But we can take a heavy load at the same time. If others could feel the cattle-prod intensity we feel (and feel almost constantly), they'd thank their lucky stars they aren't us. They also might see how much we can control ourselves. You're only seeing a few leaks through the dam holding back walls of emotion.

    Not sure if that makes us worth it or not. If yes, grand. If not, I'm already plotting to truly degrade and take over a third world country.
    So very well said.
    I hold back emotions from people so much because i am completely aware of what i'm holding back. Even letting a little slip through can seem like a tidal wave to an unsuspecting person, even if i've sifted it and built a levee.
    I've found that truly frustrating, someone pshawing a bit of the overflow and not recognizing what is being kept at bay.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Random thought: you can't stand people that ruin the atmosphere for everyone but you don't want to create more conflict. As a result, you confront the person as a last resort. It's a weird balancing act.
    When i do this, it's an attempt to let it be worked out on its own. Likely like hoping other people can damage control themselves or a situation like i can.
    More commonly, i'll let someone ruin the atmosphere for me and avoid conflict as long as the atmosphere is good for others.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

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