hi pretty new enfj here.
ed...whatever)When you feel the need to isolate from others...
first, what do you do?
second, how does it make you feel? (i.e. quilty, sad, reliv
For some reason I felt the need to answer this question.
I was just thinking about that today, I am a really good friend, and to my close friends I am extremely dependable. Like if a friend were to tell me, I need your help right now, I would just literally drop everything and help her.
Sometimes though after some major crisis, although I would never leave in the middle, after it is all over, I may detach myself for a while to recoop. When I do this I feel somewhat guilty although usually I know that it is probably good for the both of us, to regain the personal space thing.
Now here's the weird thing;
If it is just someone, even just an aqaintence, if I hear they need something and I can't give it to them for whatever reason, I will feel extremely guilty and avoid that person at all costs. It's very weird. I feel so embarressed not being able to help. So I just avoid them, but I will still think of them.
What causes me to do this I think, is that I feel that I won't be able to give them enough to actually help them, so it's kinda like an all or nothing deal here. Or if I just don't have the physical, emotional, or mental capacity to deal with what they need at the moment.
Also there have been times where I have befriended people that I know have difficulty making friendships, so I would initiate the friendship to make them feel less lonely.
Sometimes though after we've become friends like real mutual friends, to that person I was like their best friend and to me they were just a friend...So it kinda backfires, because after a while I'll feel like they want too much of me, and I don't want that much of them. Which then leads me to detaching somewhat, and unintentionally hurting that person. It's a terrible feeling, and now I'm much more careful about doing that in the first place.
I have done cold turkey detachment too, although this is extremely rare for me.
The x person who was a close friend was just getting too too too much under my skin, so I consiciously cut off ties, just stopped calling etc.
I felt very guilty about it, but I felt I needed to do it for my own sanity...
I think about her from time to time and for years after, I was even terrified I might meet this person by chance in the street (in her hometown).
As for the other stuff, I relate a lot to what people have said here. It's actually quite amazing and weird at the same time to know that other people can be so similiar to me..in different ways..
I might add more later on.
Best Wishes, Dee