User Tag List

First 614151617 Last

Results 151 to 160 of 168

  1. #151
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    Enfj
    Enneagram
    2+1
    Socionics
    ?
    Posts
    136

    Default

    hi pretty new enfj here.

    When you feel the need to isolate from others...
    first, what do you do?
    second, how does it make you feel? (i.e. quilty, sad, reliv
    ed...whatever)

    For some reason I felt the need to answer this question.

    I was just thinking about that today, I am a really good friend, and to my close friends I am extremely dependable. Like if a friend were to tell me, I need your help right now, I would just literally drop everything and help her.

    Sometimes though after some major crisis, although I would never leave in the middle, after it is all over, I may detach myself for a while to recoop. When I do this I feel somewhat guilty although usually I know that it is probably good for the both of us, to regain the personal space thing.

    Now here's the weird thing;

    If it is just someone, even just an aqaintence, if I hear they need something and I can't give it to them for whatever reason, I will feel extremely guilty and avoid that person at all costs. It's very weird. I feel so embarressed not being able to help. So I just avoid them, but I will still think of them.

    What causes me to do this I think, is that I feel that I won't be able to give them enough to actually help them, so it's kinda like an all or nothing deal here. Or if I just don't have the physical, emotional, or mental capacity to deal with what they need at the moment.

    Also there have been times where I have befriended people that I know have difficulty making friendships, so I would initiate the friendship to make them feel less lonely.
    Sometimes though after we've become friends like real mutual friends, to that person I was like their best friend and to me they were just a friend...So it kinda backfires, because after a while I'll feel like they want too much of me, and I don't want that much of them. Which then leads me to detaching somewhat, and unintentionally hurting that person. It's a terrible feeling, and now I'm much more careful about doing that in the first place.

    I have done cold turkey detachment too, although this is extremely rare for me.
    The x person who was a close friend was just getting too too too much under my skin, so I consiciously cut off ties, just stopped calling etc.
    I felt very guilty about it, but I felt I needed to do it for my own sanity...
    I think about her from time to time and for years after, I was even terrified I might meet this person by chance in the street (in her hometown).
    .

    As for the other stuff, I relate a lot to what people have said here. It's actually quite amazing and weird at the same time to know that other people can be so similiar to me..in different ways..

    I might add more later on.

    Best Wishes, Dee


    __________________

  2. #152
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    The inherent drive to save pits itself against almost knee-jerk tendencies to overextend ourselves. I feel perhaps inordinate amounts of guilt when someone can't get what the need from me. It's been a lifelong process of trying to engage people without losing my identity or freedom.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #153
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Socionics
    ?
    Posts
    10

    Default Enneagram type

    Just curious? What enneagram type did most of you ENFJ's score?

    I was a 1w2 social variant. In order I scored type 1,2,3.

    This may make for some interesting differences in our ENFJs? What is you guys opinion on the matter?

  4. #154
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    5,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Heather View Post
    Just curious? What enneagram type did most of you ENFJ's score?

    I was a 1w2 social variant. In order I scored type 1,2,3.

    This may make for some interesting differences in our ENFJs? What is you guys opinion on the matter?
    I'm a 1w2 so/sx/sp as well or sometimes 3w2. I think most ENFJs are 2s though.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #155
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    ENFj
    Posts
    767

    Default

    I took it a few months ago and saved it, came out type 3 i just took it and now I am type 6....
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  6. #156
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    ENFJ
    Posts
    50

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    Question for ENFJs: what do you do if other people make decisions you don't like?


    (Yeah, it's a loaded question... but I do genuinely want to know. Especially about cases where those decisions are close to you if that's okay.)
    As an ENFJ , I will never accept the desicion i don't like.
    If i accept that ,it means in my deep heart, it is what i needed.
    I don't know what other ENFJs' thoughts.or maybe it is just me.

  7. #157
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    ENFJ
    Posts
    50

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    I tell them how the decision should've been made and if all else fails I call them a doody-head, NF-style!
    Totally agree with u ~!

  8. #158
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Posts
    1,446

    Default

    I HEART ENFJs!

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Can others not see the weight of time and violence/sadness in peoples' eyes? It's like old houses - they radiate the energy of the people who'd been there, building up over time.
    I see glimpses of it as I'm speeding along but rarely stop long enough to really take note. Either I'm unconcerned or not practiced enough in it. I think it's a little of both.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


    Badass Promoter ESTPs:
    [sigpic][/sigpic]

  9. #159
    Senior Member The Grand Chameleon's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    144

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    What really pulls you toward someone? What kinds of things affect your soul? What kinds of behavior/personalities bug you?
    Just as you are effortlessly attracted to the ENFJ, we are attracted to every stranger that might cross our path. Every human being, regardless of type, is able to offer some new piece of information that is useful when applied the right way. When I meet a new person, I immediately begin to assess body language, facial expressions, his/her tone of voice, choice of words, content of words, manner of dress, etc...anything (and essentially everything) that is capable of providing me with an original definition for that person. This for me, is the appeal to any person, really. I want to know more and grow indefinitely as a human being. People are the perfect source

    I have learned two things:
    1) All people desire to have themselves known, whether or not that desire manifests itself in the physical world.
    2) All people like honesty.

    And I believe it is our honest portrayal of wanting to know you is what attracts other people to us.

    Apathetic individuals are the most common type to keep me at bay. Especially when that indifference clashes with that which I am attempting to construct or repair. There is just something about, "not caring" that I find counter-evolutionary to the human condition. I understand "apathetic individuals" is a highly generic term and can be construed in a variety of ways, but I think we all have an intuitive sense of what that group can universally be pictured like.

    Damn, it's good to be back on TypeC.
    "In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pieces."

  10. #160
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,498

    Default

    One thing I noticed with an ENFJ is the desire to learn about others is what helps there drive to help others. They take in all this information and hand it out to others. To take it to function level its like everything gets filed in Ni. Ni is a repository of information of all sorts of problems and solutions. Ti is kept to a minimum so this storage can attempt to fill to the top. This then feeds into Fe and out to others.

    I have seen time and time again. My ENFJ wife dole out information she recieved from one person to another. ENFJs are like the coordinators of information, unfiltered, minimally processed in huge quantities.

    What better way to help people then to learn from everyone and pass everything around. If they had to experience it all themselves they would be me, lol.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] ENFJS: What are your strengths? What do you love about yourself?
    By Malkavia in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-13-2011, 06:57 AM
  2. Talking about yourself in....
    By forzen in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 05-05-2010, 03:11 PM
  3. [ENFJ] So.... do all ENFJ's love talking about themself and their issues?
    By SUPER in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 01-26-2010, 07:37 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO