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  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    I feel you, I feel you.
    Lately I was told on 3 separated occasions, "You don't smile often in your photos do you", and you bet I felt irritated, as well as violated in some ways. Why should somebody smile, or show any particular expression at all, if they don't genuinely feel like it? Why can't the person that they are be observed and appreciated exactly the way they are?
    I've got it, okay, smile, be welcoming, be chatty, be friendly, be enthusiastic about everything makes you likable and charismatic. But does all that necessarily make somebody a genuine, a caring, a kind, a thoughtful person? These superficial standards are required at workplace, to a certain extent, because this is where they only care about how much they can exploit you, not who you are as a person.
    In more personal scenarios, if you're required to perform in any particular way, that person is not worth your time and effort, they need an entertainer, not a companion.
    I think being polite is enough, but charisma and all that enthusiasm is hard and uncomfortable. Usually we get great charisma for being very calm and polite. We're great listeners and we never interrupt to seek attention.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by AspersMC View Post
    Hey, I just want to say that I am new to this site and stumbled upon this forum. I completely understand where you and the original poster is coming from. I didn't think anyone else had these "problems". I frequently encounter situations where I am told to "just smile". My mother is obsessed with getting perfect pictures (I am still underage), and sometimes I'll be upset or not feeling it and then she'll walk in the room and want to snap a picture saying "just smile, just for five seconds". But even if I try to please her, it lowers my personal self esteem because I know that it is not genuine. Even when I try to tell her, she still does not understand. Has anyone else ever encounter similar experiences?
    Yeah, people would always tell me to be more open and extroverted. But they don't understand that I'm naturally a very quiet introvert. I was forced to use Fe and when I did, it was hard because it sounded fake and I'd be smothered by being called "soft" or "sweet." Sometimes, I couldn't hide my feelings and vulnerabilities so people always say that I'm so soft. Oh woops, that was a little off topic. But I guess don't try too hard to smile or please people. And talk about it with someone closest to you.

  3. #13
    Tragically Unhip Pandemeria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INFPtheQuietOne View Post
    Oh, uh well sometimes it's hard to come up with jokes so I guess we just sorta blend in the background and we're naturally the best listeners.
    Listening is a skill in itself, man.

    Romantic Iconoclast
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    Ni>Fe>Ti>Fi=Si>Ne>Te>Se

  4. #14
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    I've always been a bit fascinated by the process of making friends in general. Acquaintances just don't fill me. I'm friendly and polite, but usually a bit uncomfortable, because I just don't feel anything there. And then, with a few very special people, there's a powerful connection that I can't explain. It's just there. And that's how I make friends, I guess. There's that feeling.

    I honestly can't describe it that well.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1

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