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  1. #71
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    sorry, I was screwing around and just trying to be funny/rude
    no prob, I'm getting the gun remember?

  2. #72
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchAngel View Post
    My issue is with what women and society label "sissy" --- it seems that it depends almost entirely on the order in which one presents one's traits to a female. If a man demonstrates a lot of openness, self-disclosure, eagerness to please, etc early on in the interaction, these things are interpreted as a huge deficit in strength and self-confidence, whether or not they actually are; however, if a man fails to demonstrate these traits several months into the relationship, the opposite is assumed. It's all a matter of timing, with women ...
    This would be true for undeveloped types, I think. Actually I view the rare ability of a male to be open relatively early in a relationship to be a sign of self-confidence and personal growth.

    And it's all a matter of timing for either males or females. Even, and maybe especially, in developed types timing of how much/how soon is an indicator of healthy maturity.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    This would be true for undeveloped types, I think. Actually I view the rare ability of a male to be open relatively early in a relationship to be a sign of self-confidence and personal growth.

    And it's all a matter of timing for either males or females. Even, and maybe especially, in developed types timing of how much/how soon is an indicator of healthy maturity.

    The point is well-taken that these timing issues lead to both male and female error in evaluating a potential mate. Re the traditional mating sequence, the female tends to require adherence to a "pre-screening" pattern in the space of time between meeting and dating ("What did I say?"), and the male tends to do so once dating has commenced ("Why doesn't he call me?") ...

  4. #74
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I think the rush to early self-disclosure is one of the reasons that a lack of trust arises in an individual.

    We expose too much too soon and then get hurt, feel vulnerable. Then we withdraw.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I think the rush to early self-disclosure is one of the reasons that a lack of trust arises in an individual.

    We expose too much too soon and then get hurt, feel vulnerable. Then we withdraw.
    In principle, I see the argument. But who defines what is and isn't a "rush" to disclose? Who is to say what is "too much, too soon"?

    My argument is that men have no say in this. And for those of us who naturally self-disclose, and who are naturally receptive to the self-disclosure of others (as INFJs are), this is a real problem, because we wind up untrusted, when we don't deserve it.

  6. #76
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    ...not a sissy.


  7. #77
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    honestly, this is up ther with the silliest threads of all times.
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

  8. #78
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    honestly, this is up ther with the silliest threads of all times.
    you mean up there w/that thread that asked ppl to define what a "man" is?


  9. #79
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    depends on the objective.

  10. #80
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Agents cannot be sissies!

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