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  1. #11
    Senior Member blahblahbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBlondeBrat View Post
    Thanks, I'm leaning towards just telling her directly next time I see her. When she and I actually do speak to each other I become completely confident and Se seems to kick in so I should be able to, I simply need to see her in a situation where I can tell her alone and in person.
    Her parents may or may not be supportive and if she and I were to date it would probably be completely supervised, but it is all a worthwhile risk in my opinion.
    Hmmmm... religious huh? That complicates it. INFPs get hyper-religious. Regardless, I've never treated anyone meanly for asking me out or making advances towards me. I probably feel worse than them after turning them down.

  2. #12
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blahblahbob View Post
    Hmmmm... religious huh? That complicates it. INFPs get hyper-religious. Regardless, I've never treated anyone meanly for asking me out or making advances towards me. I probably feel worse than them after turning them down.
    Not always - my INFP companion is an atheist.

    And even I'm not hyped up about religion these days, either. I fail to understand the need for most rituals, to be honest.
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  3. #13
    Senior Member blahblahbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Star View Post
    Not always - my INFP companion is an atheist.

    And even I'm not hyped up about religion these days, either. I fail to understand the need for most rituals, to be honest.
    I mean when they're religious they're really religious. I'm an atheist - but I used to be a zealot.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBlondeBrat View Post
    Her sister, who was also in the class and lives with her, came to the party and told me. We've known each other for a few years as acquaintances and our mothers are actually friends.
    Ah okay. I was just thinking, it'd be a bad sign if she told you that herself.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBlondeBrat View Post
    Thanks, I'm leaning towards just telling her directly next time I see her. When she and I actually do speak to each other I become completely confident and Se seems to kick in so I should be able to, I simply need to see her in a situation where I can tell her alone and in person.
    Her parents may or may not be supportive and if she and I were to date it would probably be completely supervised, but it is all a worthwhile risk in my opinion.
    Aw. Go for it.

  5. #15
    Senior Member blahblahbob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    Ah okay. I was just thinking, it'd be a bad sign if she told you that herself.



    Aw. Go for it.
    I always vote on the direct approach for INFP. They tend to value sincerity and direct open communication than showy gestures.

  6. #16
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blahblahbob View Post
    You should ask the INFP gals if they just prefer to be bluntly asked out. I know I prefer people be upfront rather than beating around the bush with me and I'm usually very gentle when I turn someone down for a date or otherwise because I know how upsetting it can be. For myself, I prefer people be straightforward every time.
    Pretty much this.

    No need to tell her how you feel in some big, grand confession. Just ask her out. Simple & direct.
    You've observed enough to know that you like her, and so now it's time to take action. The quickest way (& easiest, as INFPs are notoriously hard to read correctly) to know if she likes you (which you already heavily suspect) is to ask her out.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  7. #17
    A Gentle Whisper ~MS*ANGEL~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blahblahbob View Post
    I mean when they're religious they're really religious. I'm an atheist - but I used to be a zealot.
    Ah, I see thanks for clearing that up!
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

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  8. #18
    Senior Member Eluded_One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBlondeBrat View Post
    Her sister, who was also in the class and lives with her, came to the party and told me. We've known each other for a few years as acquaintances and our mothers are actually friends.

    Her withdrawal is typically a sign that she's not ready to give up her true feelings -- whatever it may be. Crafting can come any other time.

    I'm not an expert at this stuff, nor will I have any pretenses about it: If you ask her out, this might not be good time to do it. Younger INFP's have a tendency to idealize romances, as in, asking her out may be seen as an unnatural or textbook method of expressing one's affection. Older INFP's may tell you otherwise. As we approach our later years, we come to realize, all the things that we idealized in our younger years, held back many experiences that could have been. Hence all the "direct-talk" responses.

    Let her know that you're thinking about her through thoughtful writing. Let her know you are the right guy for her. Give it some time. By then, when or where to ask her out will be a cinch.
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous

  9. #19
    Junior Member TheBlondeBrat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eluded_One View Post
    Her withdrawal is typically a sign that she's not ready to give up her true feelings -- whatever it may be. Crafting can come any other time.

    I'm not an expert at this stuff, nor will I have any pretenses about it: If you ask her out, this might not be good time to do it. Younger INFP's have a tendency to idealize romances, as in, asking her out may be seen as an unnatural or textbook method of expressing one's affection. Older INFP's may tell you otherwise. As we approach our later years, we come to realize, all the things that we idealized in our younger years, held back many experiences that could have been. Hence all the "direct-talk" responses.

    Let her know that you're thinking about her through thoughtful writing. Let her know you are the right guy for her. Give it some time. By then, when or where to ask her out will be a cinch.
    Thank you for the input, I'm considering it. Are you certain that telling her through writing is superior to in person? I would most likely send a written message to her via letter as opposed to a PM on Facebook since that seems rather laughable in my opinion, unless you disagree (as in, if you don't think the method particularly matters, and of course there is the chance of a letter being intercepted by her family members). I suppose a written method doesn't pressure her as much as in-person but there is the possibility of it being viewed as cowardly.
    I am considering talking to her about my feelings while asking her out to clarify how important she is to me, and that she's not just someone I'm casually asking out.
    There is also the option to tell her she doesn't have to make any decisions on the spot, and that I am content to wait for her response until she's ready, however long that may be. This course of action in particular was what I originally had planned to take.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Eluded_One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBlondeBrat View Post
    I was speaking more in the lines of taking things step by step, and giving her hints that she is "on your mind". Although your particular approach may be different from mine, it doesn't necessarily mean that neither method won't work. INFP's (if she is even one at all) have a rampant reputation for being on and off with casual connections. How you approach her seems to be the lesser issue, but rather, how you bridge the gap should be a more important priority.
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous
    Likes TheBlondeBrat liked this post

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