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Thread: Ask an ENFJ

  1. #61
    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieNinjaPirate View Post
    ENFJ opinions of the xNTP types?
    They can be AMAZING and great company only when they want to, but I feel they underestimate other people's intelligence and think they got all the answers for themselves
    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3

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    Privileged Sh!tlord ZNP-TBA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    They can be AMAZING and great company only when they want to, but I feel they underestimate other people's intelligence and think they got all the answers for themselves
    How is this any different than hanging out with an xNTJ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Protege View Post
    Ha, in truth, I tend to either find them annoying or fascinating... I could see myself easily falling for one if I let him in emotionally. In other contexts, I find them highly amusing.
    How alike do you think INFJ and ENFJ females are? I've met ( and been with) plenty of INFJs but never an ENFJ. I know one ENFJ female and she's married to my INFP friend. We have pretty good banter but usually end up debating about something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieNinjaPirate View Post
    How alike do you think INFJ and ENFJ females are? I've met ( and been with) plenty of INFJs but never an ENFJ. I know one ENFJ female and she's married to my INFP friend. We have pretty good banter but usually end up debating about something.
    INFJs seem harder to access, more guarded, and aloof. ENFJs are typically more intense, expressive, and direct. But there are quieter ENFJs and more sociable INFJs so it can get tricky to differentiate. I would probably be considered one of the "quieter ENFJs" but there seems to be a controlled intensity about me that people seem drawn to.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Protege View Post
    INFJs seem harder to access, more guarded, and aloof. ENFJs are typically more intense, expressive, and direct. But there are quieter ENFJs and more sociable INFJs so it can get tricky to differentiate. I would probably be considered one of the "quieter ENFJs" but there seems to be a controlled intensity about me that people seem drawn to.
    I need to meet more ENFJs to get an accurate sample size. My buddy's wife is intense but pretty aloof too. She also loves people a lot more than any of us (my INFP friend or I) do. I'll give her props though, she is genuinely interested people as human beings while I'm more interested in peoples' ideas and not so much them themselves.


    And about INFJs, everyone says they are harder to access and a bit more complex. I never found this to be the case. They are kind of shy but love to talk to the right people I guess. I never had a problem with getting to know them.
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    Senior Member Kheledon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geedoenfj View Post
    The ENFJ that I knew was EXTREMELY good looking and ladies where around him and I watched him enjoy manipulating them, I was maybe an equal interest for the guys and he tried to talk to me for a while or grap my attention multiple times but then he cut it off, he was behaving weird in my presence, I don't know if he was kind of intimidated by me or he thought of me as a challenge that he wanted to win, anyway instead of doing what he's doing to other ladies, he withdraw himself and started playing games from a distance and just enjoyed giving me mixed signs, but that didn't get anywhere.
    Fascinating. Here's the problem that Socionics predicts will prevent two ENFJs from "hooking up," so to speak. ENFj has a "victim" erotic attitude. ENFj wants to be "conquered" by an "aggressor" type. Even worse, ENFj sees itself as a "prize" to be "won" by its suitors. If the ENFj you describe didn't feel that you were fighting for his attention or weren't actively pursuing him, it would be in his nature to just "give up" and look elsewhere. If he is as attractive as you suggest, turning his interest toward another suitor would be quite easy and effective for him.

    Challengers/Trophies: EIE (ENFj) IEI (INFp)

    These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."

    They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.

    Socionics - the16types.info - Socionics Romancing Styles
    Sound familiar?
    MBTI: ENFJ
    M/B Functional Stack: Dominant--Fe, Auxilliary--Ni, Tertiary--Se, Inferior--Ti
    Ego (Jungian): FeNi
    Socionics: EIE-Fe, Beta
    Socionics Functional Stack: Program--Fe, Creative--Ni, Role--Te, PoLR--Si
    Enneagram Type 1
    Tritype 136
    Big Five: SCOEI - sxO|E|i
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    House: Slytherin (the "ethical teacher" type, i.e. Severus Snape)
    Color Code: Blue (intimacy-driven)
    Soul Type: Educator

    Sentio ergo sum.
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    Senior Member geedoenfj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    Damn, I used to think I was unique, but I keep finding doppelgangers in the world.
    In an ENFJ thread, we only feel as unique as they feel..



    Work for a cause not for Applause
    Live to express not to Impress


    “sometimes... confused people are funnier, nicer, and more open-minded than non-confused people.” labyrinthine


    6w7 > 1w2 > 4w3


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    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieNinjaPirate View Post
    I need to meet more ENFJs to get an accurate sample size. My buddy's wife is intense but pretty aloof too. She also loves people a lot more than any of us (my INFP friend or I) do. I'll give her props though, she is genuinely interested people as human beings while I'm more interested in peoples' ideas and not so much them themselves.
    I have realized that I tend to like the idea of people more than people. I think I am just a hardened idealist...when push comes to shove, I try to make my close circle feel cared about and special. I can be an intense person, but my closest allies/friends tend to stick by me no matter what.
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  9. #69
    Senior Member Kheledon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieNinjaPirate View Post
    ENFJ opinions of the xNTP types?
    Two of my closest friends are ENTPs. I can talk to them for hours on end. We are quite compatible with one another--verbally expressive, highly inquisitive, and open-minded. I, however, am usually the first to abandon the conversation due to pure exhaustion.

    There's not enough duct tape on Earth to shut the mouths of the ENTPs I know. They will keep talking forever. I enjoy it, almost always, but I can only take so much.

    Socionics - the16types.info - Alpha Quadra: The Complex of Closed Mouth by Stratiyevskaya

    Alpha Quadrant ... what's a poor Beta to do?

    Still, I really enjoy an ENTP's company (in relatively small doses).


    Edited to add: It's a different ball game with ESFJ (also Alpha) because ESFJ isn't really inquisitive ... ESFJ just keeps on talking without much regard to my opinions or feedback. ESFJ I can tolerate only in very small doses, though I do have one relatively-close ESFJ friend.
    MBTI: ENFJ
    M/B Functional Stack: Dominant--Fe, Auxilliary--Ni, Tertiary--Se, Inferior--Ti
    Ego (Jungian): FeNi
    Socionics: EIE-Fe, Beta
    Socionics Functional Stack: Program--Fe, Creative--Ni, Role--Te, PoLR--Si
    Enneagram Type 1
    Tritype 136
    Big Five: SCOEI - sxO|E|i
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    House: Slytherin (the "ethical teacher" type, i.e. Severus Snape)
    Color Code: Blue (intimacy-driven)
    Soul Type: Educator

    Sentio ergo sum.
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    Privileged Sh!tlord ZNP-TBA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kheledon View Post
    Two of my closest friends are ENTPs. I can talk to them for hours on end. We are quite compatible with one another--verbally expressive and open-minded. I, however, am usually the first to abandon the conversation due to pure exhaustion.

    There's not enough duct tape on Earth to shut the mouths of the ENTPs I know. They will keep talking forever. I enjoy it, almost always, but I can only take so much.

    Socionics - the16types.info - Alpha Quadra: The Complex of Closed Mouth by Stratiyevskaya

    Alpha Quadrant ... what's a poor Beta to do?

    Still, I really enjoy an ENTP's company (in relatively small doses).
    At least we'd keep duct tape manufacturers in business.

    It's Ne-Ti I think that drives some ENFJs nuts. ENFJs love talking about their ideas too but they typically have a degree of certitude about their ideas (similar to an ENTJ) and its this certitude that xNTPs lack, especially ENTPs. For us there's always another walnut to crack open and Ne-Ti enhances our analytical capability of your premise conjuring up more questions as to the logic of said premise. The only time we stop is when Fe finally reigns it in or if we're bored. If an xNTP engages in that much conversation with you then it means we usually have a high opinion of you otherwise we'd be dying of disinterest.
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