[INFJ] Signs of an unhealthy INFJ?

[Yama]

Hello NFs! I have a question for you. What are the signs of an unhealthy INFJ? One of my friends--I'm not completely sure of her type--I think she may be an INFJ, but and unhealthy one. What are the signs of this?

 

[á´…eparted]

Biggest one I have seen is the tendancy to divine intent, patterns, plans, etc. out of thin air with no basis other than their own internal rationale making them appear haphazard in approach, histrionic in some cases, and running in directions towards empty goals.

 

[Pionart]

Perhaps being overly aggressive, physically and verbally? Or this is just an INFJ I happen to not like...

 

[Opal]

Insufficient use of Fe and Se (as in social withdrawal) can leave INFJs deeply delusional. They can, in times of great, unresolved stress, also seek sensory stimulation at their own expense (extreme sports, drug use, promiscuity, etc.).

 

[Fidelia]

I don't know many INFJs in real life, but from what I've seen on here and from what people have reported, I would say they tend to shut people out of their life who oppose them or pain them in some way and they also don't communicate why they are doing so. They also can justify very bad behaviour to themselves and not feel twingey about it, become a little hedonistic or avoidant, and can be overly paranoid or crackpot-y or paranoid. Maybe also a little flaky in their pursuits.

 

[skippythecat]

It's tricky to say what is and what isn't an healthy infj because being unhealthy comes from all background. If you're asking for signs of specifically infj (and only infj), then my vote goes to the victim game. It's about "me, my pain, and the struggles you don't understand" mentality which it leads to shutting people out.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Biggest one I have seen is the tendancy to divine intent, patterns, plans, etc. out of thin air with no basis other than their own internal rationale making them appear haphazard in approach, histrionic in some cases, and running in directions towards empty goals.

A distorted inner landscape and outward paranoia could well happen. Falling into a completely abstract landscape that isn't well connected to reality can definitely happen under stress.

I think there can be an inner polarization of that completely inward, abstract, dark phantom-like reality of Ni-Ti combined with an inability to regulate the external world of Fe-Se. Some INFJs have been known to become unexpectedly impulsive, but they typically couldn't sustain it. It would just happen unexpectedly.

An unhealthy INFJ can also lose a sense of self, they can become completely lost in another person's will and needs if worn down and with a dominate, controlling partner. Something similar can also happen with ISFJs - it's that Fe aux that needs external connections, but doesn't have the command of Fe that EFJs have. They can get stuck clinging to certain things/people in the outside world, and/or become completely disassociated inside.

Perhaps being overly aggressive, physically and verbally? Or this is just an INFJ I happen to not like...

That wouldn't be typical for INFJs in general, but would tend to happen in isolated outbursts. I don't think most Ni-doms could sustain that type of behavior for very long.

 

[Yama]

If you're asking for signs of specifically infj (and only infj), then my vote goes to the victim game. It's about "me, my pain, and the struggles you don't understand" mentality which it leads to shutting people out.

I don't know many INFJs in real life, but from what I've seen on here and from what people have reported, I would say they tend to shut people out of their life who oppose them or pain them in some way and they also don't communicate why they are doing so.

These in particular are things she sometimes does when she's under a lot of stress. She also tends to get a little passive-aggressive. I've received some advice that I shouldn't pressure her into talking about her problems unless she wants to, so whenever she gets like this I leave her alone until if/when she wants to talk about it.

 

[lulabelle]

well one very unhealthy INFJ i've come across was just SO self-righteous and took herself SO seriously and people who didn't agree with her or didn't express in the Right way were inevitably deemed as toxic or narcissists. she had these insane reactions to people who would say 'self-pitying' things. her reactions were just so ridiculously outsized, and she just could not shift away from this 'this other person is a monster' mentality. the vindictiveness knew no bounds... i now see the depths of what an unhealthy INFJ can be like, and boy is it scary. they can be so unself-aware and cruel in the name of some dubious Fe cause... it can be very clear to others that they are projecting, but to them, they are some valiant hero for the community.

 

[blahblahbob]

well one very unhealthy INFJ i've come across was just SO self-righteous and took herself SO seriously and people who didn't agree with her or didn't express in the Right way were inevitably deemed as toxic or narcissists. her reactions to people who would say 'self-pitying' things were just so ridiculously outsized, and she just could not shift away from this 'this other person is a monster' mentality. the vindictiveness knew no bounds... i now see the depths of what an unhealthy INFJ can be like, and boy is it scary. they can be so unself-aware and cruel in the name of some dubious Fe cause... it can be very clear to others that they are projecting, but to them, they are some valiant hero for the community.

ditto - and non INFx people always blame the INFPs for this cause they don't get the difference.

 

[skippythecat]

These in particular are things she sometimes does when she's under a lot of stress. She also tends to get a little passive-aggressive. I've received some advice that I shouldn't pressure her into talking about her problems unless she wants to, so whenever she gets like this I leave her alone until if/when she wants to talk about it.

I agree with that. Let her process first and she'll come to you when she's ready.

 

[Studmuffin23]

Someone who spends more than 30 minutes a day on internet forums.