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  1. #1
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Default How should one deal with NF's that are being overly emotional?

    Sometimes I really have a hard time calming down NF's, or F's in general. Saying "chill out" or "calm down" certainly hasn't worked well, neither does using logic sometimes, but I have used cold hard logic to calm people down before. Do I try talking more slowly and in a soft voice, maybe I'm talking to fast?

    I argue with people a lot and with NF guys this is usually what can set them off, that or I'll make a joke and they get offended. And with girls, if they are crying, I am rendered completely useless no matter what I say it seems. It's like they have already made the decision they are going to cry and there is nothing I can do.

  2. #2
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    from my experience there's really nothing you can do. Just wait a few days before speaking and don't bring it up again. What will happen is at first I will hate you then I will begin thinking you hate me. And I will obsess until you call and if your friendly I'll hang out with you. By then I should realize how unreasonable I was being but if you bring it up it's back to the beginning. So in other words don't try to calm us [me] down it won't work and their will be more tension.

  3. #3
    Senor Membrane
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    Hmm... Since I am NF, I never have to worry about this stuff

    I don't know, this is a hard question. I think you don't need to do anything. At least if it was me. The next time you see me, I'll be fine again and don't hate you. Well, the least you can do is stop argumentation and change the subject.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    from my experience there's really nothing you can do. Just wait a few days before speaking and don't bring it up again. What will happen is at first I will hate you then I will begin thinking you hate me. And I will obsess until you call and if your friendly I'll hang out with you. By then I should realize how unreasonable I was being but if you bring it up it's back to the beginning. So in other words don't try to calm us [me] down it won't work and their will be more tension.
    Oh, you put it better than me, and got it there faster.

  5. #5
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    Uhhhhhhh. I'd like to help, because I seem to have figured it out, but I don't think I could put it into words. "Solve a problem, first by observation, then by careful intervention...In other words, the Zero Effect."

  6. #6
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    Listening to them helps. Sitting with them helps. Asking if you can get them a cup of tea (after the most intense part of the storm) helps. Basically, wait it out- and show that your intentions are good and that you are their friend. Do not show impatience or annoyance... that's bad stuff!

  7. #7
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    from my experience there's really nothing you can do. Just wait a few days before speaking and don't bring it up again. What will happen is at first I will hate you then I will begin thinking you hate me. And I will obsess until you call and if your friendly I'll hang out with you. By then I should realize how unreasonable I was being but if you bring it up it's back to the beginning. So in other words don't try to calm us [me] down it won't work and their will be more tension.
    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Hmm... Since I am NF, I never have to worry about this stuff

    I don't know, this is a hard question. I think you don't need to do anything. At least if it was me. The next time you see me, I'll be fine again and don't hate you. Well, the least you can do is stop argumentation and change the subject.
    damn. i was hoping there was something besides letting time go by i could do.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    damn. i was hoping there was something besides letting time go by i could do.
    But come on, this is easy. Just wait a while and grab the phone. The other types are much harder, you need to apologize and stuff...

  9. #9
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    But come on, this is easy. Just wait a while and grab the phone. The other types are much harder, you need to apologize and stuff...
    Yeah, but in most situations I have to stay there for a while and try to deal with it before I can go. I can't just run out of the room when people get too emotional.

  10. #10
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    Yes that is true... well, I guess you could apologize, but that can have the side effect of making the NF even more emotional, and it could mean that you will have to admit you are wrong on the argument, even if you aren't. But... if you walk out... (the dark side) ...you will get the NF thinking that he/she got you really upset, and he/she will be pondering this for the next few days....

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