[NF] How should one deal with NF's that are being overly emotional?

[Magic Poriferan]

Uh...

Just because you NTs are oftentimes incorrigible pricks does not mean that when an NF actually refuses to comply to your egotistical <---- notice, not *logical* claims of being right, that we are necessarily being uncooperative.

Well, I feel that your response was a little presumptuous about what was happening in the OPs life. It didn't really answer the question, either.

We are cooperative by nature, almost to flaw, NTs, on the other hand...not so much.

In theory, only Fe really implies cooperation. Fi could be used to guide fantastic stubborness and selfishness. Not that it always does, but it certainly has the potential. Fi gives no obligation to play along with anyone.

 

[ajblaise]

Hmm...

How should one deal with NF's that are being overly emotional?

Sounds like the in-between-the-lines message that I am receiving/reading here is that you are probably being an unbeknownst asshole. Perhaps you should try to work on that, i.e. your assholery, before you tackle the whole "NFs being overly emotional" thing.

I think I don't usually start being assholish until the person is already set off.

 

[murkrow]

Uh...

Just because you NTs are oftentimes incorrigible pricks does not mean that when an NF actually refuses to comply to your egotistical <---- notice, not *logical* claims of being right, that we are necessarily being uncooperative.

We are cooperative by nature, almost to flaw, NTs, on the other hand...not so much.

Let's follow the train of this conversation shall we?

Honest question regarding how to deal with something that is understandably difficult>>you responding insultingly and in self defense, preferring to engage in self love than actually show your positive qualities>>me pointing out your shortcoming>>you responding insultingly and toting your so far invisible capabilities.

 

[SillySapienne]

Thanks for all the advice people, I think it will help.

Haven't read the entire thread, my apologies.

So, what usually evokes, or directly precedes the whole, girls crying thing?

Sometimes I really have a hard time calming down NF's, or F's in general. Saying "chill out" or "calm down" certainly hasn't worked well, neither does using logic sometimes, but I have used cold hard logic to calm people down before. Do I try talking more slowly and in a soft voice, maybe I'm talking to fast?

I argue with people a lot and with NF guys this is usually what can set them off, that or I'll make a joke and they get offended. And with girls, if they are crying, I am rendered completely useless no matter what I say it seems. It's like they have already made the decision they are going to cry and there is nothing I can do.

UGH!!!

Sorry, but the bolded parts, I found to be pompous, and offensive.

Let's follow the train of this conversation shall we?

Honest question regarding how to deal with something that is understandably difficult>>you responding insultingly and in self defense, preferring to engage in self love than actually show your positive qualities>>me pointing out your shortcoming>>you responding insultingly and toting your so far invisible capabilities.

Hmm, thanks for the advice, your post was waaaaaaay more pleasant and less insulting.

Start it off with a very clearly spoken "SHUT THE FUCK UP."

Then proceed with cold logic.

Fi could be used to guide fantastic stubborness and selfishness. Not that it always does, but it certainly has the potential. Fi gives no obligation to play along with anyone.

Selfishness, no, stubbornness, yes.

 

[murkrow]

UGH!!!

Sorry, but the bolded parts, I found to be pompous, and offensive.

He's not being pompous he's trying to explain himself and his perspective of the situation as clearly as possible.

Imagine you're talking to someone who speaks another language and the only scraps of english they seem to know are "Fuck, stupid, damnit!" so they start crying because in your attempts to talk to them that's all they hear, then imagine trying to calm them down without using those words more, congratulations you're an NTJ dealing with an NF.

What you're displaying is actually proving his point more!

He's trying to be honest and give all the information available to him no matter how much it displays his empathic shortcomings and you're taking it as an insult!

 

[ajblaise]

Haven't read the entire thread, my apologies.

So, what usually evokes, or directly precedes the whole, girls crying thing?

In most cases, if I was seeing them at the time, it would be about me smoking weed and doing drugs, not showing up to something, sometimes crying for apparently no reason, me saying something and them taking it the wrong way, or sometimes the right way.

And with girls in general, it's about something hurtful someone said to them usually.

 

[sriv]

He's trying to be honest...

Aha! There's the problem.

 

[murkrow]

In most cases, if I was seeing them at the time, it would be about me smoking weed and doing drugs, not showing up to something, sometimes crying for apparently no reason, me saying something and them taking it the wrong way, or sometimes the right way.

And with girls in general, it's about something hurtful someone said to them usually.

It sounds to me like you just haven't found the right person.

There's no rational reason to adapt yourself as thoroughly as following the direction of this thread would require, instead focus on your positive attributes and wait for the day an angel of reason comes along.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Selfishness, no, stubbornness, yes.

Selfishness, yes.
Haven't you ever heard of ethical egoism?

 

[murkrow]

Selfishness, yes.
Haven't you ever heard of ethical egoism?

LOL!

Prepare to be shown the difference between heard and listened to.

 

[SillySapienne]

He's not being pompous he's trying to explain himself and his perspective of the situation as clearly as possible.

Imagine you're talking to someone who speaks another language and the only scraps of english they seem to know are "Fuck, stupid, damnit!" so they start crying because in your attempts to talk to them that's all they hear, then imagine trying to calm them down without using those words more, congratulations you're an NTJ dealing with an NF.

What you're displaying is actually proving his point more!

He's trying to be honest and give all the information available to him no matter how much it displays his empathic shortcomings and you're taking it as an insult!

Perhaps you are right.

But in my world, a girl has every right to get offended when a guy is just being a dick.

Also, in every instance that any NT has ever made me cry, (not that common), he just so happened to be acting like an EPIC DICKHEAD!

So yeah, perhaps I am a bit biased here.

 

[ajblaise]

It sounds to me like you just haven't found the right person.

Yeah this has been clear to me for a while. I think it's just been a lot easier to start a relationship with F's so far, and they seem to do more pursuing than T's, at least to me.

 

[murkrow]

Yeah this has been clear to me for a while. I think it's just been a lot easier to start a relationship with F's so far, and they seem to do more pursuing than T's, at least to me.

Yeah I hear ya.

It must be a pain to be an INT when it comes to relationships since the social structures in place for the building of a relationship are so dominated by male initiative.

Would you rather have an ENT or and INT for a lover?

 

[SillySapienne]

.And with girls in general, it's about something hurtful someone said to them usually.

This is true.

Aha! There's the problem.

Pssht, silence yourself sriv.

NFs *value* truth!

It sounds to me like you just haven't found the right person..

Agreed, but maybe he can work a bit on himself too.

Selfishness, yes.
Haven't you ever heard of ethical egoism?

No, but thanks to you, now I have, and hell yeah I am an ethical egoist, and fucking proud of it.

So,

Ethical egoism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Magic Poriferan]

LOL!

Prepare to be shown the difference between heard and listened to.

What do you mean by that?
For the record, I don't believe in ethical egoism at all, I'm just using it as an example of Fi producing selfishness.

Perhaps you are right.

But in my world, a girl has every right to get offended when a guy is just being a dick.

Also, in every instance that any NT has ever made me cry, (not that common), he just so happened to be acting like an EPIC DICKHEAD!

So yeah, perhaps I am a bit biased here.

The problem for me is the vagueness of your terms. Exactly what is being a dick?

 

[Magic Poriferan]

No, but thanks to you, now I have, and hell yeah I am an ethical egoist, and fucking proud of it.

So,

Ethical egoism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Thank you. I rest my case.

 

[ajblaise]

Would you rather have an ENT or and INT for a lover?

I'll probably end up dating more ENT's, but will marry a INT. Ideally it's hard to decide, but I like having things in common with girls so INT, and they seem more inaccessible which I like because of the challenge.

 

[murkrow]

I'll probably end up dating more ENT's, but will marry a INT. Ideally it's hard to decide, but I like having things in common with girls so INT, and they seem more inaccessible which I like because of the challenge.

I bet you $5000 imaginary dollars you marry an ENT

 

[SillySapienne]

The problem for me is the vagueness of your terms. Exactly what is being a dick?

When someone is being a dick, they are usually being selfish, mean, and morally wrong and rather than face these facts and be accountable for their misdeeds or mistakes, they choose to blame or put it on someone else.

 

[sriv]

Pssht, silence yourself sriv.

NFs *value* truth!

They say they do. But recognizing it is as important.