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  1. #11
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roheline View Post
    My case was probably not typical, since it was (and still is) my first love. We were not friends first, but as we were working and living in nearly constant proximity, we had a month of just flirting before anything really happened. I was somewhat shy but I definitely did not avoid interaction. I think my natural introversion must have been at least somewhat confusing, as he tells me he thought I disliked him when we first met. I mostly remember being scared silly and blushing whenever he entered the room.

    As for walls, I think that has always been something of an issue between us, and might be the reason our relationship progressed so slowly in the beginning. Eventually he started asking me to express my feelings without much warning and I would just freeze up. Part of it was fear of being hurt, fear that if I expressed my innermost, most important convictions he would laugh or worse, simply not understand. I believe that if we had not lived in close proximity for such a long time, we probably would not have gotten to know each other, as different as our personality types are (INFP vs ESTJ).
    That's a sweet story, thanks for sharing it. I found that part very interesting.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  2. #12
    Senior Member Rogue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    I would quietly observe and wait for them to interact with me.
    I would treat them very well. I would be interested, accommodating, playful, curious, engaged, caring.
    Friends first. Always.
    I would not initiate interaction, but I would always make time for them if they wanted to talk/do something. Even if it's 6 in the morning. Lol. Oh the memories.
    Walls come down.
    I would like to discuss complex things.
    I am probably not going to be any help at all, but this post struck me...
    I posted before that I am an ENFP and I made an INFP friend. He was soo nice at first. Then just started getting mean, calling me names, and he treated everyone else in our group better than me. He gave them all his text# except me! (oh we were just online friends) recently I needed some understanding friends....and he just left! He wat in contact with the others through text but not me.

    He finally came back after 5 days like nothing happened! I mentioned what upset me. And he went off. saying he knows I dont have the number and he doesnt have to give it to everyone! and for me to get the F*** over it! then he told me to Get Lost...my words were poison.!

    I quoted the above person because how can that INFP be soooo awesome sounding and my friend so cold and heartless?

    Is that whats happening to you Digital? Im so confused!
    "bad things happen when people touch me!!"

  3. #13
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Some people are just jerks that don't deserve your energy, emotions, and time. Sounds like you've got one of those on your hands, rogue.

  4. #14
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
    I quoted the above person because how can that INFP be soooo awesome sounding and my friend so cold and heartless?
    INFPs are usually Fi dominant, I believe.
    Fi =/= Fe. Being a royal piece of shit to others is not contraindicated.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  5. #15
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    INFPs are usually Fi dominant, I believe.
    Fi =/= Fe. Being a royal piece of shit to others is not contraindicated.
    It definitely is not a contradition. I have no problem being a cold bastard when around people I just don't want to deal with. Fi means my values are my rules, society can kiss my ass; thankfully some of us are nice about it, though.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #16
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
    I am probably not going to be any help at all, but this post struck me...
    I posted before that I am an ENFP and I made an INFP friend. He was soo nice at first. Then just started getting mean, calling me names, and he treated everyone else in our group better than me. He gave them all his text# except me! (oh we were just online friends) recently I needed some understanding friends....and he just left! He wat in contact with the others through text but not me.

    He finally came back after 5 days like nothing happened! I mentioned what upset me. And he went off. saying he knows I dont have the number and he doesnt have to give it to everyone! and for me to get the F*** over it! then he told me to Get Lost...my words were poison.!

    I quoted the above person because how can that INFP be soooo awesome sounding and my friend so cold and heartless?

    Is that whats happening to you Digital? Im so confused!
    The personality type thing is just for preferences for cognitive functions. Doesn't preclude any type from being a jerk or jackass, might affect the way it is expressed though. Sorry you met a weirdo.

  7. #17
    Junior Member epsilon72's Avatar
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    I approve of this thread.
    Please, continue.


  8. #18
    Content. Content? DigitalMethod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
    Is that whats happening to you Digital? Im so confused!
    Is what what happened to me?
    You mean did I have something similar happen to me like you had happen between your friend?
    Not exactly. Not really.
    ...If that is what you were asking.
    "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful."
    - Albert Einstein

  9. #19
    Senior Member Noel's Avatar
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    Male INFP - Female ENTJ

    How did you act?
    She approached me.

    Did you aggressively pursue the person, or did you quietly observe them?
    At first, quietly observe. She was just as dismayed that me that we engaged in small talk whilst cramming as much booze down our throats to make up for it. Later that night we went out 80's dancing and she had more drinks at the bar. I was dancing the night away (I was under 21, so I needed to pregame extensively) and suddenly she grabbed me and started making out with me. Several days went by and decided to call her to see her again. We went on a date and we've been interested in each other since.

    How about how you treated them?
    At first, we treated each other as a 'friends with benefits' relationship for about a year. Once she moved back, we decided to embark on establishing a more serious relationship.

    Did you treat them better/worse than your normal friends, or did you generally treat them the same as your normal friends.
    Since she's in the circle of friends, I treat her the same way as everyone in that realm: giving, caring, honest, respectful, understanding. She does has the benefit of expressing and demonstrating my love for her. Friends are quite precious to me.

    Were you their friend first?
    I recognized her existence. We're in Speech and Debate and I do not recall ever saying a word to her.

    We're you shy and avoided interaction? Or did you always make time to try to be with that person.
    When we were 'friends with benefits', she was taking a full semester of classes so we made time together.

    What about walls? I think everyone knows what I mean by walls. Emotional walls. Relationship walls. Distancing yourself from others not on a physical level but a deeper level.
    Prior to establishing a relationship, I felt that both of us wanted to go in that direction but couldn't due to the physical distance between us (Utah - D.C). We're starting to become invested in each other and we decided to 'break it off'. We broke it off but maintained a good rapport between us over the phone.

    Did you let your walls come down, or did you wait and get to know the person, to be able to trust that they won't hurt you, or something else, before you opened up?
    One of the biggest walls we both had was that wall called love. We were hesitant to say 'I love you' to one another because we both believed that people over use that word (especially in the English language) thus, its meaning had no weight. We're both feeling it, I could tell, but we weren't ready. I had a really bad night of poker, dropping almost fifty-sixty dollars an acquaintance's house and had a lot of alcohol in me. After I blew it all, we went home in my car. She was trying to make me feel better using sarcasm, I didn't understand at the time that she was doing that and told her she was making me feel worse. She became very upset because I 'didn't' get her as a person and almost broke up with me right then. We made it home and started talking in the car. She, extremely nervous, said "I love you Noel". I was stunned. I said I love you to her and we went to sleep.

    A few months down the road, she began trying to commit a self-sabotage upon our relationship. She started doing this because she has never let anyone in as close as me and she was scared I may hurt her. I understood what she was going through and let her know that I was here for her. It took about two months for her to say to me, "Noel, I'm not afraid anymore".

    Do you prefer to think and discuss complex things with friends, or do you generally think deep when your alone?
    I like to think and discuss complex things alone. When I feel comfortable about that idea coming out into the external world, I'll vocalize it. I've been working on my ability to clearly and succinctly express an idea, so I'm not tuned out by the lady or my best friend (INTP).
    I may be bested in battle, but I shall never be defeated.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Rogue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalMethod View Post
    Is what what happened to me?
    You mean did I have something similar happen to me like you had happen between your friend?
    Not exactly. Not really.
    ...If that is what you were asking.

    oh, woops! uh....sorry!
    "bad things happen when people touch me!!"

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