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  1. #1
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Default INFJ's don't know what they want.

    INFJ's don't know what they want. True or false? Please discuss.

  2. #2
    A wannabe dog
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    Haa I have the same problem too.

    Like right now, I am in a serious relationship and we are already discussing about marriage a few years later. But I don't even know if marriage is my thing, I have so many things that I wanna do, so many places that I wanna explore, I don't wanna be tied down by marriage... But at the same time, if I were to stay unmarried forever, the people around me would keep asking me why I am single and stuff like that and they would keep trying to matchmake me with guys.
    Idk, I don't even know what my sexuality is, there is a high chance I might be asexual. The same goes for friendships. I don't really feel the need for friendships but I still go around socializing with people and making friends anyway because society deems me weird if I don't have any friends.
    Why do we need friends? Why do we need a romantic relationship? Until now, I still don't know why. Because I don't really need these in my life.


    I often struggle between trying to fit into society vs remaining true to myself. I don't even know which is the real me anymore. I have given up a lot of my real needs/wants just to fit into society. Externally I seemed to fit in with society, but internally I feel so different from the people around me. The external me vs the internal me are two extremely different people.

  3. #3
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    There are plenty of types that don't know what they want. It's not exclusive to INFJ's.

    As a general for INFJ's? I am doubtful to say that it is.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

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  4. #4
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Come on, y'all are lame. 79 views and only two people have an opinion on the matter? Denial? Explanation? Anything?

    Ok, here's my motivation for asking the question: I'm still thinking of making videos on youtube about typology, and I was going to make one about this, and I thought there was a good chance people would argue with me about it and say I'm wrong or something, so I wanted to get all that over with on here.

  5. #5
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    There are plenty of types that don't know what they want. It's not exclusive to INFJ's.

    As a general for INFJ's? I am doubtful to say that it is.
    For sure, but I think if it is the case then INFJ's have their own flavor of it, and it might be true that they are more likely than say, INFP's because Fi gives a person an internal sense of preference.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    @greenfairy I was wondering where you were just yesterday. And here you are. I'm glad to see you are still around.

    Now to answer the question, I don't know about other INFJs but I usually have a pretty good idea of what I want. I'm a long range planner.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14
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  7. #7
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think I know what I want in a big picture sense. In little things, maybe not so much, but like my other decision making, it generally is just waiting for a missing bit of information and then the choice is very clear. If in doubt, particularly for smaller choices, I probably tend to fall back on what is familiar, more than something totally unknown. On the other hand, I think I've ended up being open to flying by the seat of my pants and improvising more than a lot of people feel comfortable doing.
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  8. #8
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.
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  9. #9
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    I think it very well applies to INFJ's just depends on what stage of life and how things turned up to be according their visions in mind. I could see if it went bad like it did for me, you can feel like you're wandering around with purposelessness before you find that thing to move you again.

  10. #10
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    Come on, y'all are lame. 79 views and only two people have an opinion on the matter?
    ^Lol!

    I saw this earlier, but it's stated too broadly to even know where to begin- "don't know what they want" can mean so many different things (from food/clothes to the slightly less tangible aesthetic tastes of art/music, or bigger picture wants/goals, etc)- so that's why I passed it up. I find questions this general difficult to answer, because there are so many answers. I considered breaking it down into categories myself. but I don't even think it's the categories that determine how decisive I am so much as the context/situation I am in while needing to make a decision (or rather, in addition to the categories- there's several influences at play here). It's at the mercy of factors like- who is waiting on me to have an opinion (and why), if anyone will be impacted by what I want, is it something I want solely for myself or family or community, etc. I almost feel like I'd have to write a book to correctly answer the question in the op.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari
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