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  1. #71

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    can't you tell the difference between a guy who just wants a quick fuck and a guy who i genuinely interested in a serious relationship?

    meanie head girls :P

  2. #72
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    can't you tell the difference between a guy who just wants a quick fuck and a guy who i genuinely interested in a serious relationship?

    meanie head girls :P
    Sure!!!!!! But the problem is that we are taught to act in conservative ways, and women who are flighty tend to respond immediately. So even though we are burning inside, rationality tells us to calm the hell down.

    Besides, the common idea is: If a guy is REALLY interested, he will be happy if you wait. Or he will be totally disappointed if you just jump in his lap.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

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    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    yeah, thats why i don't mind just kickin it with a girl i really like, without the sex in the beginning.

    but at least holding hands and 2nd base kind of stuff so i know she's mine. LOL!

    but that backfires sometimes because i think some girls need the sex to get as clingy as i might get.

    thats my catch 22 at least... one day i think i'll find the answer.

    jake... yea little linguist is spot on though about the girl's viewpoint...

  4. #74
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    yeah, thats why i don't mind just kickin it with a girl i really like, without the sex in the beginning.

    but at least holding hands and 2nd base kind of stuff so i know she's mine. LOL!

    but that backfires sometimes because i think some girls need the sex to get as clingy as i might get.

    thats my catch 22 at least... one day i think i'll find the answer.

    jake... yea little linguist is spot on though about the girl's viewpoint...
    Hmm, well it is hard for me to respond to the idea of being "clingy" because everyone has a different definition of "clingy." I mean some guys think sharing ideas and feelings is clingy; whereas I do not. Some others do not even think you are clingy unless some serious stalking is going on....(Not my opinion, but you know how it is).

    If by clingy you mean loyal - I do not think every woman needs sex immediately in order to be loyal....Most girls think guys need that, ironically enough.

    Personally, my opinion is as follows:

    Be yourself. Do not try to be someone else. That's hard, but it is the only key to success. And if the guy - in your case, girl - does not like you, then it is better to know it initially, because everyone will figure it out after a while anyway.

    I'm a natural person. That's the best way to be. And that goes for guys as well. If you get "rejected," do not see it as "rejection." See it as a confirmation that something better is coming. By better, I mean someone who is more fitting to your own personality.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  5. #75
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    If by clingy you mean loyal - I do not think every woman needs sex immediately in order to be loyal....Most girls think guys need that, ironically enough.
    lol

    i think clingy as in texting too often or calling too often in the beginning of the courtship.

    i got out of a 4 year relationship where i was used to feeling stable, so during the entire courtship phase, i needed that stability again. so it led me to text or call too much, especially during the time of "holding out" the girl does.

    i couldn't understand some things bc i was used to my ex not texting back if she was mad about something. then it made me think they were mad at me for some reason... i dunno. sent me down a spiral in a weird way. and then they would text back, and i would get some flashback of something that happened before with an ex (i just realized this)

    yeah i think im just confused at this point. and not sure what i want.

  6. #76
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    lol

    i think clingy as in texting too often or calling too often in the beginning of the courtship.

    i got out of a 4 year relationship where i was used to feeling stable, so during the entire courtship phase, i needed that stability again. so it led me to text or call too much, especially during the time of "holding out" the girl does.

    i couldn't understand some things bc i was used to my ex not texting back if she was mad about something. then it made me think they were mad at me for some reason... i dunno. sent me down a spiral in a weird way. whereas if i was more aloof (like when i was used to being single) things would have worked out much smoother.
    Relationships are not easy. That is for sure. Even with my husband, I am continuously learning and growing - finding out more about human nature.

    Most times, I just have a "feeling" or a "gut instinct" regarding the right thing to do. But perhaps I also rely a little bit more than the typical ENFP on the experience I have had. I attribute that to the S/N balance...Intuition combined with an appreciation of experience.

    Alas, there is no "formula" regarding how to act in a given situation, since every situation is different. It depends greatly on the person's personality and the mutual feelings and energy that is there....

    ...Which is what makes MBTI so fascinating because personality is really the crux of human experience. So even a few human beings' attempt to take something so complex, so marvellous, so beautiful - and transcribe it into a formula is something that interests me a great deal.

    So, I go back to what I said earlier: You should be true to yourself. Let the chips fall where they may. If you are not true to yourself, your own personality, your own feelings, your own self, it will not bode well for any relationship.

    Which is not to say that one should not learn, grow and develop. It also does not mean to have total disregard for others' feelings. But it does mean do NOT put yourself second. It is best to have a good regard for yourself and the other person. Be strong. Be you.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  7. #77
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    ^ yeah thnx.

    i know what i have to do to be true to myself. but a lot of distractions are getting in the way. like obligations i have... my mind goes haywire thinking about them actually...

    i think if i read ur post again in a week, it would make more sense and i can absorb it... thnx again. ^_^

  8. #78
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    You are all whackos to be avoided by sane people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    But it sounds like you're easing into a hot bath.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  9. #79
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    You are all whackos to be avoided by sane people.


    I'm a wacko and proud of it!!!!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  10. #80
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    for reals though, i can't think of any other way to deal with it other than dispersing the attention amongst different girls

    or going drinking/clubbing, etc...
    Hahaha... Yes, I do this too! Disperse! Scattered attention, not so focused. That's my favorite solution for diffusion as well.

    but at least holding hands and 2nd base kind of stuff so i know she's mine. LOL!
    Cuuuuute! I love that! "So I know she's mine." Adorable.

    yeah i think im just confused at this point. and not sure what i want.
    Yeah, see that's the thing! You fall into a pattern with someone and then you meet someone new and it's like... wait, what pattern do I follow now? And, it's just like you (I mean, I) should opt for sanity and not text like crazy even though that's what your (or well, my) initial tendency is... because I would say that MOST people are not that way and it's the less offensive. Definitely the anti-WHOA route, but it means I have to figure out where to channel all of the emotions I experience so the one person doesn't get them full force... at least not in the beginning...

    It would have been nice to get the whole relationship thing right the first time instead of having to sort of muddle through the remnants of them. I mean, this is common sense, but I feel like I'm always on edge because I've been hurt before, but chances are, so has the other person... so you can't really jump like you may have in your first safer relationship...

    and.. now, I'm starting to ramble... haha.

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