User Tag List

First 123

Results 21 to 28 of 28

  1. #21
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I've gotten a lot better about it because I guess I'm getting old and don't have the energy I used to.
    One of the very reasons I'd never want to go back to being 20. People could put a hook in my mouth right away. Now? It's "back off". Being sick has cut the saddle off my back, and I'm grateful for that.

    It doesn't seem like I do that much around the house and the kids and husband are pretty low maintenance at this point, but yeah, I got myself in trouble just a couple of weeks ago. Totally, desperately exhausted and it takes me days to recover once I get to that point.
    Same here. Glad it's not just me. I find an emotional drain to be just as bad as a physical one, and I have to walk it off for days.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    693

    Default

    I've dealt with this also my whole life and I'm a T. One thing I have found though is most people don't want help and even the ones who do sometimes resent you for it when they are "in the clear". I told myself not too long ago that if my need to continue this remained that strong then I would go into counseling or psychology. Might as well let them seek you out and get paid for it.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Maabus1999's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    528

    Default

    I'm a very low T in INTJ for almost all tests I take, but the description fits me. However INFJ description also fits at times. Example: things that matter to me I do actually care about and actually try to make everyone happy at times (I feel like an INFJ at times). Back in my more dork days several years ago I ran a group of ~200 people in a large MMO. Basically I created the rules and systems that were (to me) logical but very fair. INTJ there as it was my system and I considered it perfect. However, I would actually spend time listening to people, almost counseling them for issues, and this sometimes went into real life issues where I would help them out with advice. Very INFJ in that regard, especially for 99% I have never personally met, but wanted to make sure I could make everyone as happy as possible.

    Basically if something matters to me, I become very concerned with the relationship and maintaining it. However, if it isn't important, I really don't care or think they have weird motives for being nice to me. They need to offer me something of interest for me to care about starting some sort of "relationship" with the person beyond polite chat.

    Question is for myself to figure out is am I in that "INxJ" zone where I cross over? Maybe redefined as an INTfJ. Who knows, but for now I will consider myself INTJ.

  4. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    160

    Default

    I'm willing to put a lot of effort into straightening out miscommunication and trying to understand someone if the person is important to me. However, then I get self-conscious because it seems to be the norm not to consider it worth the time or energy (also people seem more important to me than vise-versa) so I try to hold back and it causes angst. Wish I could turn it off. As far as dealing with the stress: it gives me insomnia. I read that INFJs take conflicts out on themselves by having it affect their physical well-being. I definitely relate to that.

  5. #25
    Senior Member sketcheasy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    101

    Default

    because infj's are awesome and are the type of people that fulfill me as friends.

  6. #26
    violaine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by peppermint13 View Post

    but if anyone else can relate to this...here's my question:

    i'm not insecure, clingy, or have self esteem issues. i've got my flaws, as does everyone, but in the scheme of things, i'm not so bad i'm confident in myself, i'm happy with who i am, look for areas of improvement, and try to keep all that in perspective. and i work to make sure those around me are happy and harmonious.

    and yet, i have this (sometimes irrational-seeming) need to connect with people *positively*, to improve relationships, etc. and it seems that i, more than most, stress over potential misunderstandings or tensions in relationships. can anyone relate to this (other infjs)? do you find that relationships (either that you're in, or that you observe amongst others) are more important to you than to others? how do you deal with the stress of being the one who notices and cares?

    (this may also be a wild extrapolation to all infjs...feel free to point if it doesn't really apply. like i said, new to all this
    Because INFJs are optimizers which manifests itself in the sphere of human relationships. I don't know if I read that somewhere or figured it out for myself. I suspect I read it. When I did realize how much I was doing this I learned to stop tinkering so much with the relationships that were good enough... I know it can drive a significant other crazy although it comes from a good place - optimal human understanding!

  7. #27
    Junior Member Naix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It does sound like good advice. The bad thing is, and this may be just me, I have to learn these things at my own pace. If I'm not at the right place in my life, no amount of the most sage advice in the world really helps me.
    I don't see that is a bad thing nor do I think you do as well. How I see it, our pace is our own and to be anything less than who you really are is a travesty.

    I agree with you that "no amount of the most sage advice" will instantly and/or directly affect infjs, however they can be inspirations for self-realization and/or new perspectives in the near future or future.

    Acting or faking the understanding of something you haven't honestly learned is essentially taking leaps backwards and if continued destroys your individuality.

    I see this happen most to people who get locked into the work of great minds, whether it be theories, philosophies, and/or etc; and are no longer able to come to conclusions on their own. It's irony that those great minds often contradict each other. Some questions have no answers but require people to take sides and make choices for themselves; thoses who do not struggle endlessly.
    4w3 "Colors and Experiences may change" noster--nostri.deviantart.com "

  8. #28
    Junior Member Eng.daisy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Am an INFJ and I can relate to what ever you have written I always care so much about the people a round me that some times they take me for granted and I do consecrate on tiny details may mean nothing to the other person but I go around in circles thinking did they understood what am trying to say or did they get In another way etc
    just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Why Do NFs Apologize So Much?
    By Totenkindly in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 228
    Last Post: 09-25-2017, 02:49 AM
  2. Replies: 26
    Last Post: 08-24-2015, 04:22 PM
  3. [NT] Why do nts project so much?
    By prplchknz in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-28-2014, 07:55 AM
  4. Why do credentials have so much emphasis?
    By Synapse in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-09-2010, 03:33 AM
  5. [NF] Do we care too much about humanity??
    By chipy100 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 12-23-2008, 05:33 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO