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  1. #11
    Senior Member lulabelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nixie View Post
    NTP. It's spicy - we differ on a lot of things - but no other combination even comes close in chemistry.
    are you an INFJ?

  2. #12
    Paranoid Android Video's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    are you an INFJ?
    75% sure.
    4w3 6w5 1w2 sx/sp ISFP

    RLOAX (don't do it)
    Melancholic Hufflepuff
    A lonely island where only what is permitted to move moves, becomes an ideal. Jung

    Kiss Kiss [johari] Bang Bang [nohari]

  3. #13
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    I like fellow Ni doms, NFPs and NTs.

    Wait, in real life? Nevermind lol.

  4. #14
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    no, i'm put off by INFJs who always think they know best. and generally i'm put off by people who think they 'have their shit together' because there's usually a bit of a superiority thing there as well.
    How much of this do you attribute to your own insecurity, though?

    I ask because up until recently (~3/4 years) I was very much put off by overly judgemental people; I was easily incensed if somebody offered their opinion of me in a completely unwarranted fashion (for example, commenting on how I manage my money) when they do not know me. Nowadays I'm absolutely chill about it and actually encourage character critique as it can be a powerful aid for personal growth. I can see how this could be quite offensive to an Fi-dominant, though - you guys and gals seem to know your inner selves with a much greater degree of clarity than we INFJs do.

    As for superiority complexes... yeah, they can exist - but you need to understand that, when dealing with INFJs (for example), you're only seeing our exterior. Internally we're liable to be far more chill / open / flexible than you INFPs. I'm well aware that I can come across as forthright when I'm sufficiently impassioned by something and sharing my truth, but I'm also very humble... you just don't see that side of me unless you get to know me.

    So in other words, don't be put off by INFJs. Instead, dig just beneath the surface and I guarantee you'll find something worthwhile.


  5. #15
    Senior Member lulabelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmj85 View Post
    How much of this do you attribute to your own insecurity, though?

    I ask because up until recently (~3/4 years) I was very much put off by overly judgemental people; I was easily incensed if somebody offered their opinion of me in a completely unwarranted fashion (for example, commenting on how I manage my money) when they do not know me. Nowadays I'm absolutely chill about it and actually encourage character critique as it can be a powerful aid for personal growth. I can see how this could be quite offensive to an Fi-dominant, though - you guys and gals seem to know your inner selves with a much greater degree of clarity than we INFJs do.

    As for superiority complexes... yeah, they can exist - but you need to understand that, when dealing with INFJs (for example), you're only seeing our exterior. Internally we're liable to be far more chill / open / flexible than you INFPs. I'm well aware that I can come across as forthright when I'm sufficiently impassioned by something and sharing my truth, but I'm also very humble... you just don't see that side of me unless you get to know me.

    So in other words, don't be put off by INFJs. Instead, dig just beneath the surface and I guarantee you'll find something worthwhile.

    I'm sure some of it is insecurity, but some of INFJs' judgment/need to criticize is insecurity as well.

    I only really take criticism from people I feel really understand and appreciate my intentions and where I want to go. Otherwise, it's very unhelpful and frustrating for me. INFJs' identity seems a lot more malleable in certain ways, and they really need that constant feedback from their environment. It's a totally different way of taking in identity information and some INFJs just don't see this distinction + feel that I'm being an idiot for not taking their advice. I can accept how they are and I need them to accept the way I operate. I don't need them constantly lecturing me about my feelings + claiming they know exactly what's going on (better than I do), only for them to be wrong.

    I know there's worthwhile stuff beneath the surface... and above the surface! I didn't say that this is how I feel about all INFJs all the time at all. Just certain ones can grate on me sometimes for these reasons.

  6. #16
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    I started this post so enthusiastically, but then I had to deal with a crying baby who decided to poo everywhere and also demand food at the same time. Now I'm kinda exhausted, so I'm going to keep it brief

    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    I'm sure some of it is insecurity, but some of INFJs' judgment/need to criticize is insecurity as well.
    Without a doubt.

    I only really take criticism from people I feel really understand and appreciate my intentions and where I want to go. Otherwise, it's very unhelpful and frustrating for me. INFJs' identity seems a lot more malleable in certain ways, and they really need that constant feedback from their environment. It's a totally different way of taking in identity information and some INFJs just don't see this distinction + feel that I'm being an idiot for not taking their advice. I can accept how they are and I need them to accept the way I operate. I don't need them constantly lecturing me about my feelings + claiming they know exactly what's going on (better than I do), only for them to be wrong.
    Makes sense, and you're correct that our 'identities' are malleable. Such is the nature of Fe, and it can certainly come at a price if we don't check ourselves regularly. I strongly believe that the older we get, the more established our core self becomes. At 28 years old, I find myself far more able to stand apart from the wants and needs of others; I can retain my own personality with relative ease. The journey to reach this point has seen me cut some unsavoury characters out of my life, and I have been significantly healthier (mentally) ever since.

    I know there's worthwhile stuff beneath the surface... and above the surface! I didn't say that this is how I feel about all INFJs all the time at all. Just certain ones can grate on me sometimes for these reasons.
    Understandable.

    I have to say though... your point re: INFJs lecturing you about feelings and thinking ill of you for not taking their advice seems a little weird to me. Obviously, we're all different, but I can't say that I've ever noticed that trait from the INFJs I know. They're happy to dispense nuggets of wisdom and offer advice when required, but we're a pretty 'hands off' bunch, firm in our belief that people should learn by doing things their own way. The behaviour you describe is typical of ISFJs in my experience.

    Finally - and I say this without ego - as an INFJ I really do know what is going on within people most of the time... with a good degree of accuracy! We tend to be like that, but any decent INFJ won't point this out to you - they'll just offer pertinent advice as and when required (e.g. when asked).

    But overall, yeah - you're right. We can be annoying shites

  7. #17
    Senior Member lulabelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pmj85 View Post
    I started this post so enthusiastically, but then I had to deal with a crying baby who decided to poo everywhere and also demand food at the same time. Now I'm kinda exhausted, so I'm going to keep it brief



    Without a doubt.



    Makes sense, and you're correct that our 'identities' are malleable. Such is the nature of Fe, and it can certainly come at a price if we don't check ourselves regularly. I strongly believe that the older we get, the more established our core self becomes. At 28 years old, I find myself far more able to stand apart from the wants and needs of others; I can retain my own personality with relative ease. The journey to reach this point has seen me cut some unsavoury characters out of my life, and I have been significantly healthier (mentally) ever since.



    Understandable.

    I have to say though... your point re: INFJs lecturing you about feelings and thinking ill of you for not taking their advice seems a little weird to me. Obviously, we're all different, but I can't say that I've ever noticed that trait from the INFJs I know. They're happy to dispense nuggets of wisdom and offer advice when required, but we're a pretty 'hands off' bunch, firm in our belief that people should learn by doing things their own way. The behaviour you describe is typical of ISFJs in my experience.

    Finally - and I say this without ego - as an INFJ I really do know what is going on within people most of the time... with a good degree of accuracy! We tend to be like that, but any decent INFJ won't point this out to you - they'll just offer pertinent advice as and when required (e.g. when asked).

    But overall, yeah - you're right. We can be annoying shites
    nah. they're definitely INFJs. i know ISFJs and they are incredibly different from this bunch. it's funny though how when someone says something negative about INFJs many are quick to say they must not be INFJs!

    i've found that INFJs can definitely overestimate their analyses of people, especially with Fi-doms. and yes, sometimes they are quite insistent about what they know! they're worse at understanding my complex relationship with my emotions (that is just as intense but really differs from their own) + respecting what i want out of life. maybe you're just a more laid-back one, because i have heard this description of INFJs around, especially from INFPs. i am largely accurate when i analyze people, but of course there is room for error and i never push.

    i'm sure the INFJs would have some shiiit to say about me, so it's obviously not one-sided. i think many INFJ feelings on INFPs have been well-documented tho

  8. #18
    Senior Member pmj85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulabelle View Post
    nah. they're definitely INFJs. i know ISFJs and they are incredibly different from this bunch. it's funny though how when someone says something negative about INFJs many are quick to say they must not be INFJs!
    Haha! Not myself - I'm a firm proponent of INFJs being far removed from the saint-like figures we're often portrayed as. The behaviours you mention just happen to be similar to the ones I note in my ISFJ family members

  9. #19
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    All NFs except INFJs.
    Any intelligent FPs, especially ESFPs as they tend to be social and will seek me out.
    ISTJs who like counter-culture and/or the arts and make good use of sarcasm, as opposed to the very dull, traditional ones.

    I will click easily with ESTPs, strangely enough, but it never becomes anything deep. There's the shared Pe attitude and general openness to "different" people. I don't feel judged, which is an important factor to me warming up to someone.

    Every type is hit and miss though. I rarely click quickly with anyone either.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe
    Likes Stanton Moore liked this post

  10. #20
    Member unsomething's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Every type is hit and miss though.
    Agreed... some people click and some don't. I almost don't even want to say type has much to do with it but admittedly for me a very noticeable amount of people who click happen to be NP. I don't really find anyone hard to get along with though except people who want to not get along with me.

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