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  1. #1
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    Default INFJs, are you frequently the subject of GOSSIP?

    Greetings everyone...first post

    I'm in my 40s and it seems I invite ridiculous gossip, rumor and innuendo, STILL. I thought I would be less shocking and controversial as I got older, but it seems to have intensified. All this year, I feel absolutely bludgeoned by the shadiness of people who don't know me yet seem to delight in picking apart every aspect of my being. This summer I have totally isolated myself. Besides running my biz, I have become a bona fide hermit. I refuse to talk to or see anyone. I feel like my privacy has been invaded and aspects of my life have been twisted for fodder.

    Sometimes these idiots will email me phishing for information to dispute or confirm the ridiculousness. They think they are so subtle. Ha! Other people's subtlety feel big & obvious to me, so I'm constantly hit by their passive-aggression and fakery. I feel the only way to respond to the absurdity is to return their passive-aggression, DOUBLY.

    I feel like my intuition is on overload. I know too much, and it's a bloody burden. There are no other INFJs in my life who understand. They don't have the capacity to see what I see...until minutes, hours, years later. I've made the mistake of talking about things others weren't ready to hear, and they hate me for bursting their bubble of security.

    Anyway, I know I'm probably not making sense, I just felt I had to put this somewhere.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Motor Jax's Avatar
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    heh, i just ignore it either way... i have nothing to prove to anyone else except me...

  3. #3
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    My first thought after reading your story was to just make up stuff. Really outrageous, impossible-to-be-true stuff. Then maybe, after a while, they'd understand the ridiculousness of their gossipping. I suppose the reason for gossip could be rooted in an interest in you as a person, but an inability (or lack of desire) to find out more about you by talking to you. It's quite possible that these other people do not understand, and that they are afraid of you because they cannot, or will not, understand. Or it could be that they find their own lives boring or they're projecting their own inadaquacies on to you. Overall it's an immature and inefficient way to find out about someone.

    I wonder, then, if the correct approach would be to confront them about the issue. Maybe even make yourself easily accessible and knowable, so that when they do discover who you are, they'll find you're no more different than anyone else on a basic level.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  4. #4
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I don't know. I'm pretty oblivious most of the time. It's hard for me to imagine being interesting enough that people find something about me to talk about, but I suppose folks do get really bored or don't have hobbies or something.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  5. #5
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    I attract a fair bit of curiosity and so I'm sure there is some chatting that goes on behind my back, particularly among the ladies. Harmless. Also, from what I can tell, pointless. The gossip is probably far more interesting than I am.

    I suppose I am lucky...once the speculation subsides and people begin to sort out fact from fiction, my friends do truly seem to genuinely love me even though they may not get me. I am an enigma...but a pretty benign one.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Motor Jax's Avatar
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    i agree... people seem to have a hard time figuring me out also

    and i'm sure their is talk about me when i'm not in the room.. but it never really has bothered me none...

  7. #7
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    Yeah, people like to talk about me.

    I think it's because I come across as someone who's really calm and put together or just plain mysterious. I've had people try to decipher my love interests, spread rumors about me quitting my job, having an affair with a co-worker and blah blah blah. Some of it has some truth to it, though no one has ever been 100% correct. It's real annoying because I just don't need the extra stress.

    And yeah, I know too much too. Though I think that's my own fault. For some reason, people like to confide in me and I just love hearing about people's drama and then trying to help them find answers or patterns...so I encourage them to keep on talking.

  8. #8
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    People used to talk about my ex behind her back non stop.

    Pretty much everyone in the city thinks they know something about her and it's all untrue.
    wails from the crypt.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Motor Jax's Avatar
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    when i was on the ship (navy), i would start rumors in the smokepit (smokepit gossip) about other people, just dropping what would seem a parapraxis to other people..

    it was interesting how quick it would get around the ship too... like we literally had about 5,000 people on board...

  10. #10
    Junior Member bandit's Avatar
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    I can relate to felt up's post.

    I find that the gossips I've heard from people about myself are way too funny and silly to even feel annoyed or upset at.

    However, I've been terribly annoyed by the fact that most people around me barely understands me, and yet there are those who still pass judgements that can be absurdly inaccurate and downright insulting to me. I've also been able to 'know' that people, who have had issues with me in the past, had been talking bad about me behind my back, only for this to be confirmed by someone who came back to me to spill the beans... And the funny part is that, I have no idea why on this earth this person had to come to me to spill the beans in the first place.

    Like felt up, I've also responded to this by staying low, being quiet and keeping things to myself, aside from those I absolutely trust. The gossips eventually vaporised into thin air because people saw that they were grossly inaccurate and frivolous.

    *POOF*

    Gone in a huff.

    Silly gossips...

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