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  1. #11
    Member Hang's Avatar
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    When I get to that state, I immediatly start talking to myself, or my imaginary friend.
    I have a habit of blaming myself for everything that has gone wrong, as if I feel I deserve to be punished.

    What I do to make the situation better is that I start meditating and fill my thoughts with love. Love can never go wrong.
    That doesn't work for more than half the time though.

  2. #12
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowEnd View Post
    Isn't there some kind of secret coping manual issued to Fs?
    Actually I'd like to get a hold of that coping manual myself.

    I have a feeling everyone 'deals' with this stuff in their own way, and I think all of us explore different options of coping with it, to try to find something that works.

    I've learned, at least for myself, that trying to ignore it and push it away, and distract myself from it, merely prolongs it, or intensifies the negative energy.

    But if I just wallow in my negative, anxiety-ridden, miserable state, and don't fight it off, and just let myself give voice to the true feelings - 'This sucks', 'Life sucks', 'I can't take this anymore,' 'Why the hell do I get like this?', 'I don't have the strength to live a life where this keeps happening every now and then, and the knowledge that it WILL happen every now and then, til I die, makes me despair'....etc...rather than rationalizing it and trying to 'fix' myself from not having any of the thoughts to begin with --- makes it blow over MUCH faster. What may have been a couple of months of milder anxiety and avoidance and distraction, gets filtered down to a more intense, awful couple of days, or maybe a week.

    I am a ball of anxiety and spinning thoughts for those couple of days, and sleep poorly and it affects me physically -- but eventually I wear myself out, mentally/emotionally, the spinning thoughts stop of their own accord, and I reach a calm place where it's all behind me. And I move on.

    Although the above probably comes across like a very bad experience -- and it IS -- I will say that over time I'm finding that although it totally sucks each and every time, I am also aware that it will pass (and that recognition can lessen the panic state), and in a weird way I think it's becoming easier because of that. Just accepting it as a way that I am, and something to work with and through -- not against. When I first experienced these intense feelings of anxiety and despair, I self-labelled it as something 'wrong' and something I wasn't doing right, in my life, because I thought if I was doing everything 'right', I wouldn't get the feelings at all. But the very act of labelling it as something bad that I had to push away and fight against really aggravated it and made the anxiety spin even further out of control -- because I thought my very self was 'Wrong'. Now that I've stopped labeling this emotional state as something that is bad and that I have to actively avoid at all costs --- it doesn't happen as often, and it just washes over me and I can move on a lot sooner than I could before. Again, I want to make it clear that the 'washing over me' thing sucks each and every time, and continues to frustrate me to no end when I do, once again, get like that, but.....I've just learned to accept it as part of who I am. Just the nature of myself and how I view the world and the things I contemplate and value.

    If there was a specific trigger to what started the 'spiral of death' (it's what I call these little funks), I will sometimes send a note to trusted friends just to get some of the thoughts/feelings off of my chest, and sometimes that helps. But I don't 'expect' or really need them to respond back -- I just need to expel some of the angst from myself. Plus the very nature of this funk is an internal one -- and can only be worked through within myself -- so although external understanding/support can lighten the load, ultimately my emotional state/thoughts rest on myself alone -- so I tend to hole up and just wallow until, like I said, I completely wear myself out and can let go of all of it -- because by that wearing out point, I have realized the fleeting nature of the emotions, and my various emotional states themselves, and I can see the triviality of all of it in the big picture. And then I can rest and move on.

    (so sorry for the long rambling post. I know I repeated myself in places, but I wanted to try to articulate what is a very introverted process/state for me)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #13
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Default Secret Coping Manual for Fs

    Quote Originally Posted by LowEnd View Post
    Isn't there some kind of secret coping manual issued to Fs?

    1) Cry about it

    2) Vent/discuss it

    3) Obsess about it

    4) Wallow in it

    5) Write and/or read about it

    6) Distract from it


    Other types' MMV.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  4. #14
    heart on fire
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    Ironic humor helps, a lot.

    Immersion in grief within reason can help speed the healing process.

    Music.

    The solace of people closest to me.

    My cat.

  5. #15
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    My cat.

    Yes, cats and dogs give pure love and affection whether or not you're employed, in a relationship or in good health.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Many similarities here for me except replace deadpan and focus on only thinking with over the top crying and anxiety wrestling with thinking clearly until i get really sleepy in a funny peaceful bliss of not having enough energy to continue feeling the pain. I do recluse until it is sorted out.

    I see the emotional element similarly to getting physically sick and just allow it to happen until it drains itself of its strength. Then, the thinking and analysis part examines the more subjective aspects of what took place from a position of distance: What was my perception? What was the other person/people's perception? What is fair and reasonable? How can I frame this situation in a way that minimizes tunnel vision, anxiety, despair? What irrational ideas am i projecting onto this situation to increase my pain? What actions can I take to produce the best result for myself and the people I care about?

    Those kinds of questions attempt to make it to the foreground from the start, but if I can sense that my mind is too flooded with chemicals and emotion to actually think constructively, then I try to allow the emotions to come without any judgment and just move through them in the present moment without thinking at all. Then as they dissipate, I can focus in on the analysis from the position of observer of the situation. I try to view myself and others involved as an observer and think of what i would say to comfort such a person in my situation.

    What she said.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  7. #17
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    I know what works for me but I don't know if it will work for you.

    I video blog. Basically a journal entry out loud and on camera. I have no clue why but it's really theraputic for me.

    I have the same problem you have when I try to tell people my problems, it's really difficult to explain what goes on internally.

    When I'm recording, I see myself on the screen and it's like I'm telling myself about my problems. I don't know why but feeling like there's two of me and that I'm telling me about my problems feels really really good.

    Lol I probably sound really weird. Oh well. =P

  8. #18
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Scotch.

  9. #19
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    tears, tears, oceans of tears.
    INFP 4w5
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    The pain won't let me get away.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scantilyclad View Post
    tears, tears, oceans of tears.
    It feels good to cry.

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