• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] I am out of here!

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Still not sure.
Something philosophical and creative, where socialization plays a role but where I can still go off alone. Something much more laid back than now.

No rush. I believed people when they told me the career inspiration would come to me... Then I got upset because it didn't... Now it has. We're young still, you even more so than me. We have to give life time to beautifully unfold. Your answers will come from inside of you when the time is right. :)
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
No rush. I believed people when they told me the career inspiration would come to me... Then I got upset because it didn't... Now it has. We're young still, you even more so than me. We have to give life time to beautifully unfold. Your answers will come from inside of you when the time is right. :)

Thank you.

I am very quiet and reserved at work (I learned this art my last job, as I am more outgoing when I'm relaxed or excited.) and I recently had to fill out a personality test from this new company to make sure the job is a "fit." My mother guided me through it and my responses were kind of opposite of me except for the parts about being friendly and reserved.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Thank you.

I am very quiet and reserved at work (I learned this art my last job, as I am more outgoing when I'm relaxed or excited.) and I recently had to fill out a personality test from this new company to make sure the job is a "fit." My mother guided me through it and my responses were kind of opposite of me except for the parts about being friendly and reserved.

Lol, yeah, a lot of jobs have crazy test things. They're awful. I hate to say lying is ever the best policy but I lie my ass off on those!
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I feel I can never find what I need to be truly happy. It will forever remain elusive. It seems like I suck up negative energies everywhere I go, much like a vacuum cleaner or a sponge. I feel other's pain, I want to heal them but can't. My own home is a nexus of negativity. Even my writing and painting feels no deeper than playing with action figures. I need depth, but it evades me. It is a fickle sprite that remains just out of grasp. I always wonder if my next project will bring me the peace of mind and fulfillment I need, but it never does.
IME, the best way to find happiness is to stop trying to find it and focus on other goals or desires instead. I don't even know what trying to be happy would look like. Instead, I try to find inspiration or fulfillment, friendship or experience; to learn something, to accomplish something, to help someone, even if it is something very small or ordinary. When I am able to do one or more of these, happiness is a natural by-product.

Wow. You are doing exactly what I think people should be doing. That is rare. You are a wonderful, caring woman. Sociology, especially field research, seems fun, but there is also astronomy. I've loved the stars for as long as I can remember, and I am an advocate for dark skies. I lost a battle with a church who wanted to put a huge illuminated cross last year, and I miss the half of the visible stars I lost to the forces of light. I call them "forces of light" because they take away so much dark sky. What is humanity without the night sky?
This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

ce1d75869ca458e373b5d4de7d565bbc.jpg
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Sorry just seeing this. I have been absent.
Many happy returns. (And by return I mean - hope you come back.)
Azul :bye:
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
IME, the best way to find happiness is to stop trying to find it and focus on other goals or desires instead. I don't even know what trying to be happy would look like. Instead, I try to find inspiration or fulfillment, friendship or experience; to learn something, to accomplish something, to help someone, even if it is something very small or ordinary. When I am able to do one or more of these, happiness is a natural by-product.


This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

ce1d75869ca458e373b5d4de7d565bbc.jpg

I bundle those, but I find those just as hard to find. I try to derive deep happiness from those experiences, but it all feels so shallow. At least I can pretend to be happy.

I lost my train of thought, again…

Lol, yeah, a lot of jobs have crazy test things. They're awful. I hate to say lying is ever the best policy but I lie my ass off on those!

I understand why.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Sorry just seeing this. I have been absent.
Many happy returns. (And by return I mean - hope you come back.)
Azul :bye:

I'll probably only be on less often. I find it difficult to stay away.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I bundle those, but I find those just as hard to find. I try to derive deep happiness from those experiences, but it all feels so shallow. At least I can pretend to be happy.

I lost my train of thought, again…



I understand why.

Not to sound like a broken record, but again you're 18, and you're in the place where life for many people is sort of a muddled mess. You're learning how to blaze your own trail apart from what you've always known and loved when you were younger, you've seen the fallibility of your parents and the community, and you are beginning to dip your toes in the "real world". I think a lot of people feel disillusionment - especially us idealistic types - because adult life is not as as it seems it will be when you're younger. It's hyped up into this magic arena of opportunity where you will do what you love and you will build a big beautiful career and you will become somebody important and you will find exactly what you were meant to be and all of that dream stuff. And then you realize that there's a lot of bullshit and criticism and difficulty and failure. And people still expect you to look at it with the same the starry eyes that you had before, and part of you wants desperately to do that, and the other part of you wonders if you'll ever find happiness again.

But, as you go, you find out that there is a small happiness to be found in the ups and downs of daily life, even though it may not be quite what you pictured, and that things do seem to sort themselves out. There's some line about how life is what happens when you're making plans, but I also think that plans tend to arise while you're busy living. If you go about whatever it is that you're going about, knowledge about what you want and what you need are going to arise as a natural consequence. I don't think you need to pretend to be happy, not in the sense that you need to stuff your feelings down while putting on a happy face. But I think what Coriolis is saying is try to do the things that make you stop thinking about happiness for a while. Get engaged, get involved, get caught up in something fun or ridiculous or difficult or puzzling. Go live some more life and forget about happiness for the moment being. Depth is inherent in life. You will find it if you are out there. And I think someone said this already, but exercise, if you're not. It basically guarantees you a period of chemically-induced happiness.
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'll probably only be on less often. I find it difficult to stay away.

Oh good!
I try retiring from forums and then I regret it. I'm the same - trying to take longer breaks. :)
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Not to sound like a broken record, but again you're 18, and you're in the place where life for many people is sort of a muddled mess. You're learning how to blaze your own trail apart from what you've always known and loved when you were younger, you've seen the fallibility of your parents and the community, and you are beginning to dip your toes in the "real world". I think a lot of people feel disillusionment - especially us idealistic types - because adult life is not as as it seems it will be when you're younger. It's hyped up into this magic arena of opportunity where you will do what you love and you will build a big beautiful career and you will become somebody important and you will find exactly what you were meant to be and all of that dream stuff. And then you realize that there's a lot of bullshit and criticism and difficulty and failure. And people still expect you to look at it with the same the starry eyes that you had before, and part of you wants desperately to do that, and the other part of you wonders if you'll ever find happiness again.

But, as you go, you find out that there is a small happiness to be found in the ups and downs of daily life, even though it may not be quite what you pictured, and that things do seem to sort themselves out. There's some line about how life is what happens when you're making plans, but I also think that plans tend to arise while you're busy living. If you go about whatever it is that you're going about, knowledge about what you want and what you need are going to arise as a natural consequence. I don't think you need to pretend to be happy, not in the sense that you need to stuff your feelings down while putting on a happy face. But I think what Coriolis is saying is try to do the things that make you stop thinking about happiness for a while. Get engaged, get involved, get caught up in something fun or ridiculous or difficult or puzzling. Go live some more life and forget about happiness for the moment being. Depth is inherent in life. You will find it if you are out there. And I think someone said this already, but exercise, if you're not. It basically guarantees you a period of chemically-induced happiness.

I could join a sorority. That sounds ridiculous enough that I just might like it. That said, my studies must always come first lest I lose my scholarship. I can only imagine what my mother would say. There is also that UU place I've been meaning to try. My mother has a tracker in me and always knows where I am, and she would be pissed if she knew I went across town to see a church, especially a non-JW church.

I've been fast-walking at night a few times a week, but I should do more.

I really can't mess up this next job. It will give me the power and resources to help others. Everybody should be helpful.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I could join a sorority. That sounds ridiculous enough that I just might like it. That said, my studies must always come first lest I lose my scholarship. I can only imagine what my mother would say. There is also that UU place I've been meaning to try. My mother has a tracker in me and always knows where I am, and she would be pissed if she knew I went across town to see a church, especially a non-JW church.

I've been fast-walking at night a few times a week, but I should do more.

I really can't mess up this next job. It will give me the power and resources to help others. Everybody should be helpful.

Awesome! I think actually a little extracurricular activity tends to raise grades. Some correlation with busier people and better time management. You can always back off a little if you need to focus more on your studies for a bit.

Your mom has a tracker on you? (Wait - in you?) It's up to you, but I think that would feel like crossing a rightful privacy line to me. You are a legal adult at this point, after all.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Awesome! I think actually a little extracurricular activity tends to raise grades. Some correlation with busier people and better time management. You can always back off a little if you need to focus more on your studies for a bit.

Your mom has a tracker on you? (Wait - in you?) It's up to you, but I think that would feel like crossing a rightful privacy line to me. You are a legal adult at this point, after all.
Sounds awesome! They are doing rush right now on campus, so I'll probably just jump into some random one and have a good laugh with some people my age. Why not? :)


Yes, she put it in years ago, and if I won't tell her where I've been, she can just look it up. That, and the fact that she has eyes and ears everywhere means I never got away with much. Still don't.

I grew up with lots of surveillance and no expectation of privacy. That is how my mother found out I had dissent with the JW moral structure before I said anything. She checks my history and spies on me all the time. She has always been like "I always know what's best," but I disagree now. She gives great practical advice and is good at picking up details I miss(my personal weak points), but her morals and imagination could use a tune up. I feel that her perceptions of right and wrong are very skewed toward tradition over reason.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Sounds awesome! They are doing rush right now on campus, so I'll probably just jump into some random one and have a good laugh with some people my age. Why not? :)


Yes, she put it in years ago, and if I won't tell her where I've been, she can just look it up. That, and the fact that she has eyes and ears everywhere means I never got away with much. Still don't.

I grew up with lots of surveillance and no expectation of privacy. That is how my mother found out I had dissent with the JW moral structure before I said anything. She checks my history and spies on me all the time. She has always been like "I always know what's best," but I disagree now. She gives great practical advice and is good at picking up details I miss(my personal weak points), but her morals and imagination could use a tune up. I feel that her perceptions of right and wrong are very skewed toward tradition over reason.

Haha, do it!! Awesome!!

That's kinda scary, about the tracking. It's one thing to be a little overprotective, but that is sort of violating your right to independence as a person. It's one thing in your four-year-old for safety... Very different in an 18-year-old. Does she have a plan to let you get it out at any point? Like I said - I don't need to make your decisions for you any more than your mom does, but that one leans a little too far into the cult zone for me, especially now that you're an adult. If it's an implant, you could probably get a medical professional - maybe an urgent care, even - to very willingly take it out.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Haha, do it!! Awesome!!

That's kinda scary, about the tracking. It's one thing to be a little overprotective, but that is sort of violating your right to independence as a person. It's one thing in your four-year-old for safety... Very different in an 18-year-old. Does she have a plan to let you get it out at any point? Like I said - I don't need to make your decisions for you any more than your mom does, but that one leans a little too far into the cult zone for me, especially now that you're an adult. If it's an implant, you could probably get a medical professional - maybe an urgent care, even - to very willingly take it out.

Never thought much of it, but I can probably do it. She has one in my phone, too, I got a text that I was being tracked by her number. I thought that was just being redundant.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Yes, she put it in years ago, and if I won't tell her where I've been, she can just look it up. That, and the fact that she has eyes and ears everywhere means I never got away with much. Still don't.

I grew up with lots of surveillance and no expectation of privacy. That is how my mother found out I had dissent with the JW moral structure before I said anything. She checks my history and spies on me all the time. She has always been like "I always know what's best," but I disagree now. She gives great practical advice and is good at picking up details I miss(my personal weak points), but her morals and imagination could use a tune up. I feel that her perceptions of right and wrong are very skewed toward tradition over reason.
You need this tracker out now, ASAP. It's bad enough to do that to a kid, but you are an adult now, and have the same expectation of privacy as every adult. Get a new phone as soon as you can, too. For now, you might be able to frustrate the tracker there by having the phone entirely off - battery removed and all. And do check out the UU place. Do things - as Skylights and I have both said now, find things to do: work, school, UU, exercise, time with friends/classmates, whatever. Focus on those, and happiness will find you.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
You need this tracker out now, ASAP. It's bad enough to do that to a kid, but you are an adult now, and have the same expectation of privacy as every adult. Get a new phone as soon as you can, too. For now, you might be able to frustrate the tracker there by having the phone entirely off - battery removed and all. And do check out the UU place. Do things - as Skylights and I have both said now, find things to do: work, school, UU, exercise, time with friends/classmates, whatever. Focus on those, and happiness will find you.

Thank you.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Never thought much of it, but I can probably do it. She has one in my phone, too, I got a text that I was being tracked by her number. I thought that was just being redundant.

Lol, no kidding. I'm on board with Coriolis about this, though. Privacy is a human right. If it doesn't bother you, it's your decision, but I think you should be able to choose where you go and what you do for yourself without fear.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Top