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  1. #51
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I disagree. You will drain society if and only if you choose to drain society and you will cause a lot of sadness and pain if you kill yourself. You are a teenager figuring out his life. There is no shame in being a teenager figuring out your life. Shit, I'm 26 and most of my peers are just now solidifying their paths. You don't have to have the answers... You don't have to succeed on your first try... You can be a college kid!! This is the time to make mistakes and try crazy ideas and pick yourself up and try again and again. You have PLENTY of time later in life to give back to the world. Now is still the time in your life to be a kid and play in the life sandbox and make mistakes. Who, exactly, is telling you that you are doomed, and why do you believe them?

    Are you positive there is no animation at your school now? At my college it was under the umbrella of Multimedia Arts.

    In the meanwhile, I am going to continue compiling my list of friends' creative careers up there. Maybe it will give you some hope.
    I feel I can never find what I need to be truly happy. It will forever remain elusive. It seems like I suck up negative energies everywhere I go, much like a vacuum cleaner or a sponge. I feel other's pain, I want to heal them but can't. My own home is a nexus of negativity. Even my writing and painting feels no deeper than playing with action figures. I need depth, but it evades me. It is a fickle sprite that remains just out of grasp. I always wonder if my next project will bring me the peace of mind and fulfillment I need, but it never does.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  2. #52
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Nothing feels right. Everything is wrong.
    Yep, it is. None of it fits. Just like the MBTI. It's not going to be perfect. But it's doable. And most of these people - way more on the list now, btw - are really fired up about what they do. I'm not saying one of these is the career for you, just that you're not doomed. All of these people are like you and face similar issues. All of them have successful and pleasing careers. You are not alone and your task is not by any means impossible. All of these people have paved the way and you can pave the way for future kids just like you.

  3. #53
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    If I could just tame the inner chaos, perhaps my goals would ring clear.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  4. #54
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I feel I can never find what I need to be truly happy. It will forever remain elusive. It seems like I suck up negative energies everywhere I go, much like a vacuum cleaner or a sponge. I feel other's pain, I want to heal them but can't. My own home is a nexus of negativity. Even my writing and painting feels no deeper than playing with action figures. I need depth, but it evades me. It is a fickle sprite that remains just out of grasp. I always wonder if my next project will bring me the peace of mind and fulfillment I need, but it never does.
    Well, yeah, you're a 7. I have some of that feeling too. I think it's part of the 7/head triad pattern of trying to run to the next thing and being afraid of never being satisfied. But your home is something that you will eventually get away from, as is the religious community. There must be times in your life where you have been happy. And there are ways of recreating happiness.

  5. #55
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Yep, it is. None of it fits. Just like the MBTI. It's not going to be perfect. But it's doable. And most of these people - way more on the list now, btw - are really fired up about what they do. I'm not saying one of these is the career for you, just that you're not doomed. All of these people are like you and face similar issues. All of them have successful and pleasing careers. You are not alone and your task is not by any means impossible. All of these people have paved the way and you can pave the way for future kids just like you.
    I smiled a little when I read this. Thank you.
    I suppose the worst person for putting me down and telling me how doomed and worthless I am and how I'm not doing what I should or as well as I should is my unrelenting inner critic who never shuts up.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  6. #56
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I smiled a little when I read this. Thank you.
    I suppose the worst person for putting me down and telling me how doomed and worthless I am and how I'm not doing what I should or as well as I should is my unrelenting inner critic who never shuts up.
    I am so glad.

    And yeah. I have one too. Tell that motherfucker to stuff it every once in a while.

    But really. It can sit down and shut up sometimes while you do life. Sometimes it inspires us on to great things and sometimes it is just a huge weight. You are absolutely, totally going to be fine, even if your superego is freaking out. If you have clothes on your body, a roof over your head, and an idea of where your next meal is coming from, the rest can be worked out as you go. You have every capacity to create a happy life for yourself even without that critic's input. And it's surprising, the extent of help others do not at all mind giving if you could use a hand in life right now. That overbearing superego likes to tell us that it's shameful or wrong to ask, because it errs on the side of idealism, but it isn't. Nor is it shameful or wrong to fall down and pick yourself up again. The entire concept of a story is built around the idea of a conflict and resolution. You can't have a life story without conflict. The inner critic tries to construct an interpretation that doesn't contain conflict for our own benefit... But it's wrong. The inner critic doesn't do reality. It just does ideals. And life is not about pure ideals, but about bringing the beauty of ideals into being and experiencing the fresh grittiness of chaotic, surprising, unpredictable and exhilarating reality.

    A long time ago I read that a good tactic for dealing with errant thoughts that arise during meditation is to mentally hear them out and then let them drift on. I think it can kind of go the same way with the superego. Listen to what it's saying, decide if it has any use to you at the moment, and if it doesn't, let it drift on. It is just a voice, and sometimes it's a really stupid one. You have the power within yourself to dismiss it if it's not telling you something that makes you feel happy and whole, or that brings a useful perspective into your life. And right now, I really feel like your inner critic needs to shove it until it has something useful or positive to say. It could be busy working on helping you figure out your ideal career parameters - the kind of environment you prefer, the kind of schedule you prefer, and other such preferences that will play into your future - instead of bogging you down with self-destructive talk. You don't deserve that from anyone, particularly not from an over-valued, half-baked cognitive amalgamation that is supposed to be providing you with helpful perceptions, not negative crap.

  7. #57
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Wow. You are doing exactly what I think people should be doing. That is rare. You are a wonderful, caring woman. Sociology, especially field research, seems fun, but there is also astronomy. I've loved the stars for as long as I can remember, and I am an advocate for dark skies. I lost a battle with a church who wanted to put a huge illuminated cross last year, and I miss the half of the visible stars I lost to the forces of light. I call them "forces of light" because they take away so much dark sky. What is humanity without the night sky?

    Thanks MQ. And wow...look at all the *help* you're getting here! I'll let you continue your dialogue...and if you decide to stick around (I hope you do)...you know where to find me.


  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    [...]I suppose the worst person for putting me down and telling me how doomed and worthless I am and how I'm not doing what I should or as well as I should is my unrelenting inner critic who never shuts up.
    You may want to try exercising.

    In an earlier post, I mentioned that Quenk book. It says that ENFPs go into a tailspin when a crisis happens: they overextend their Ne-Dom trying to deal with the problem, and Ne-Dom shuts down. They fall progressively downward through their functions until they end up stuck in their Inferior. Accustomed to seeing the world through a big-picture Ne-Dom view, Si-Inferior feels like being stuck in the bottom of a well; they get hyperfocused on 1 or 2 negative details and can't see any other possibilities.

    Quenk says that the way out is to:
    1) Do what you're doing here on TypoC: Find some supportive talk in order to engage Te-Tert, which will start the process of pulling you out of the well.
    2) Engage Si-Inferior in a more positive fashion:

    [...] Physical exercise, such as jogging, engaging in some quiet sensing, or visualizing a place of peace and silence can be helpful. ENFPs in particular mention exercise as helpful. For most Extraverted Intuitive types, attending to physical needs, such as sleeping a lot, eating good food, and getting massages, also accompanies the gradually diminishing effects of the inferior. [...]
    3) In turn, the downtime mentioned in item 2 will help re-engage Fi-Aux. ENFPs may begin to realize that they tend to overextend themselves and they'll resolve in the future to pay more attention to their own needs and find more balance between the demands of the world and the need for downtime or "me"-time, such as by engaging in meditation, regular quiet times, an exercise regime, etc.

    4) And with their other functions re-engaging, Ne-Dom will eventually kick back in and help them see that big picture again and brainstorm new ways to handle the world, ideally using the new insights they've gained from the sojourn in the lower functions.

    Of course, this is all just book theory. I haven't been following the thread or what caused your personal crisis. Your current problems may not be of the sort that are amenable to textbook analyses of cognitive functions.

    But since I mentioned the Quenk book in an earlier post, I thought I would throw this additional material out there. It might be good fodder for discussion with @Starry and @skylights, who seem to know your situation pretty well.

  9. #59
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Thanks MQ. And wow...look at all the *help* you're getting here! I'll let you continue your dialogue...and if you decide to stick around (I hope you do)...you know where to find me.

    @skylights

    I may be about to find another tech job. My mother found a legal loophole in my circumstances, so I'm going to get a second chance when I normally wouldn't have gotten one. I am torn between telling myself I won't screw this up and I'll redeem myself and everything will turn out OK, and telling myself I'll be just as accident-prone and helpless as last time. All I know is, I am supposed to be productive, and there is a stigma attached to not being productive.

    How did you get your username, @Starry?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  10. #60
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    @skylights

    I may be about to find another tech job. My mother found a legal loophole in my circumstances, so I'm going to get a second chance when I normally wouldn't have gotten one. I am torn between telling myself I won't screw this up and I'll redeem myself and everything will turn out OK, and telling myself I'll be just as accident-prone and helpless as last time. All I know is, I am supposed to be productive, and there is a stigma attached to not being productive.
    Congratulations on the additional opportunity!

    Here's what I think... Why do you need to frame it either way, either as redemption or as damnation? It's just a job. It's awesome that you get another opportunity because jobs are useful for the money and the experience, but what if instead of looking at is as a big thing, it's just a little stepping stone in your life, and it ultimately means very little in terms of your identity or your worth? Sure, management wants you to be productive, because that makes them money. And parents want their kids to be productive because they like to see them blazing their own path in the world and chasing down success. And citizens like to see other citizens being productive because they like to know you're putting your taxes in the pot. But it's just an external measure, an indicator. It's not an exact printout of how you're doing in life. People like you to be productive because it makes their lives easier, and because there is some degree of empathic happiness most people experience when they see another person doing well. But I think you'd benefit if you could try to see this extra opportunity as a stroke of luck. It doesn't matter what you do with it. If it can be useful to you for a day, great. If it can be useful for a year, great. Enjoy that you have it and try not to worry about how you're going to do. And start planning for what you'd rather be doing if you were given the chance, so that if anything happens, you can get going on your next adventure.

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