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  1. #31
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    If we all were successful with first attempt of everything we'd find a reason to be miserable. But with failure it keeps things in perspective. Everyone fails at something at some point you can't say based on one job that you are a complete failure. You got hired that's something. You are young don't be so hard on yourself
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #32
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Sorry to have to edit things as per policy, but we're not stepping away from you.

    I know it doesn't solve your problem, but you're not unique. I suck at a lot of detail stuff and staying on task and it's a wonder I have not been fired a lot. Seriously. I'm at work right now, and here I am doing mod stuff (although I don't have much to work on at the moment).

    I did lose one job -- a stay at home job -- because it involved a lot of self-starter stuff, being really extroverted (i'm bad at that), and some other stuff that wasn't my fault. My family was depending on me, I had two young kids to take care of, and I let them down because I wasn't proactive enough, and I could not get things together to keep the job. It was embarrassing, I felt like a failure, and I wondered if I'd ever get it together enough to find a future for at least the people who depended on me.

    I did manage to transfer my skills after a few months of unemployment into the field I am now, though, and have been there ever since.

    It's possible to move on. I know what it's like to hate and be disappointed with myself and my inability to do some things no matter how hard I try, but... it's just what it is.

    You've got people here who listen, at least. Don't be afraid to let people take care of you a bit, you're going through a hard time.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #33
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I could continue trying to get my books and stories published. I have been going through a creative dry spell since my last book and I have only gotten rejection letters. I could go sit in a cafe or something and get a new one running, possibly. Then again, my stories turn out lackluster if I have a specific goal in mind, have a deadline, try to force them, or am doing them for somebody else. I liked my animation class before my mother pulled me. I was a natural at it, but my mother wanted me to do something more realistic. I suck at 'realistic' jobs, though. I'm slow, forgetful and lacking common sense. There is nothing I can think of that I remote enjoy and can do well that is 'realistic' or steady paying, for that matter. I've contemplated suicide, but I can never bring myself to do it. Weak, I know. Things won't ever get better. I am majoring sociology, how long till I fail at that?
    You have it in your own signature... you can achieve anything you set your mind to and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed. That doesn't mean that you weren't dedicated enough to your past job... it means that even if it doesn't work out, you have to look for another path. And sometimes it means that you have to redefine success. This feeling that you have right now is why a lot of people are not successful. Because this feeling sucks and because it's hard to get away from. But it's not somewhere that no one's ever been before. You might be surprised if you reach out emotionally to your family and friends right now. I think that they are more likely to offer you a hand up then to look down on you. They have probably been there before.

    I know that you are perceiving that your lack of attention to detail, and your difficulty with memory, and difficulty with following through, and lack of noticing environment are giving you trouble now, and will probably give you trouble in the future. I think you've made a realistic assessment of your weaknesses, but I also don't think it's a prison sentence. Just like Jennifer, I share the same weaknesses. I think she and I both got lucky that we found positions where our strengths were able to eclipse our flaws. Honestly, in a pharmacy tech job, there is not that much room for artistry or intellectual process, or socialization. I think the job really required strengths that you did not excel at, and had a little room to spread your wings in a way that your strengths could become useful. This will not be true in every job.

    Plus, don't forget that the people who do not have difficulties with attention and forgetfulness have different flaws. So it's not like everybody else is a perfect fit for jobs and you're not. I sort of had that misconception for a long time, until I started working, and I realized how incompetent everybody else is, too! Nobody is ever perfect at filling the role. There's more flexibility and leeway than it seems at first, especially when people get to know you and get to see your strengths. I think this is particularly true in fields that require creative strengths, because, let's face it, creative types tend to be a little bit spacey. So there's a little more wiggle room for people like you and me.

    I'm glad that you haven't followed through with suicide... I think it would deeply hurt those around you and isn't really giving you a fair chance. And, for what it's worth, I don't believe that there is nothing realistic that you can do that wouldn't allow you to be happy at least some of the time. There are always going to be components of a job that are distasteful. My dad likes to joke that it's not called work because it's easy, and they're not going to pay you to have a good time. Is there a career counselor at your school that you could talk to you? I think it might be really useful for you to talk about your relative strengths and weaknesses with someone who has a good idea of the scope and reality of future paths. As for animation, I actually have friends who have gone into that. It's not an unrealistic idea. If you really liked it, I would encourage you to go to that academic department and compile information about careers in that field. Your mom is an ESTJ and should respond well to concrete data. If she were to see some numbers and statistics in addition to positive feedback from your instructor, I imagine that she might be willing to reconsider.

  4. #34
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Sorry to have to edit things as per policy, but we're not stepping away from you.

    I know it doesn't solve your problem, but you're not unique. I suck at a lot of detail stuff and staying on task and it's a wonder I have not been fired a lot. Seriously. I'm at work right now, and here I am doing mod stuff (although I don't have much to work on at the moment).

    I did lose one job -- a stay at home job -- because it involved a lot of self-starter stuff, being really extroverted (i'm bad at that), and some other stuff that wasn't my fault. My family was depending on me, I had two young kids to take care of, and I let them down because I wasn't proactive enough, and I could not get things together to keep the job. It was embarrassing, I felt like a failure, and I wondered if I'd ever get it together enough to find a future for at least the people who depended on me.

    I did manage to transfer my skills after a few months of unemployment into the field I am now, though, and have been there ever since.

    It's possible to move on. I know what it's like to hate and be disappointed with myself and my inability to do some things no matter how hard I try, but... it's just what it is.

    You've got people here who listen, at least. Don't be afraid to let people take care of you a bit, you're going through a hard time.
    I have nothing to give society. I am worthless. When I tru to help, I only ever make things worse. Always have, always will.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  5. #35
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I have nothing to give society. I am worthless. When I tru to help, I only ever make things worse. Always have, always will.
    You're 18. Right now it feels like your plans have collapsed, but you have a lot of life ahead.

    Seeing your religious background, I can only imagine all the bad messaging you have received in your life -- people in family and authority shaming you when you did not live up to their expectations. I've been there and done that too. (Not JW, but pretty conservative Christian and even some Young-Earth stuff for awhile.) I was taught to view myself as deficient in many ways. Some of those messages still linger in my ears, but I receive other messaging from people that reaffirms that it's not the truth about me.

    The future is never set. What's leaving you feeling like things aren't going to change?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #36
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Everything requires paying attention to detail. I can't do detail to save my life! You obviously don't know me well enough to know just how bad I am at remembering details, following through on tasks, and noticing my environment I am! Don't know why I came back…nobody can help me…

    You obviously don't know me well enough to know how much you remind me of me.

  7. #37
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    Here's a cross-post from another thread concerning the Inferior function of ENFPs: Administration, details, "real life" issues, how to deal with them?

    Ne-Doms (ENFPs & ENTPs having Si-Inferior) are insecure about facts & details: They get paranoid about whether they are putting too much or too little emphasis on facts.

    Extraverted Intuitive types report varying degrees of concern about whether others see them as having substance, stability, and depth. They can therefore overdo attention to facts or be somewhat defensive about their knowledge and use of facts and details.

    One ENFP becomes so deeply involved in the details of a new project that she obsessively searches out supporting evidence in the form of ever more facts, which are often irrelevant to the goals of the project. An ENTP lawyer acknowledged that she often feels unprepared with data to support her legal arguments, so she makes sure she has at least a few facts she can bring forth at appropriate moments to convince others of her thoroughness. An ENFP teacher says she always overprepares for lectures, bringing enough material to fill twice the amount of time she actually has to present. [...]
    From "Was That Really Me?" by Naomi L. Quenk.

    I don't know if this info is going to be helpful, given the nature of the problems expressed in this thread. But if it's a question of personal insecurities, a lot of that sort of thing can be related to one's Inferior. Naomi Quenk wrote an entire book about how the Inferiors work in our lives. It might be worth checking out for some possible answers.

  8. #38
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    You obviously don't know me well enough to know how much you remind me of me.
    Sorry. I just don't know what to do. I'm out of ideas. What is your career?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  9. #39
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    Have you tried looking at standard lists of careers for ENFPs? Just google “Careers for ENFPs.”

    Here’s a generic list of careers for ENFPs from “Do What You Are” by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger:

    ENFP CAREERS

    CREATIVE
    Journalist
    Screenwriter/playwright
    Columnist
    Character actor
    Musician/composer
    Newscaster
    Interior decorator
    Cartoonist
    Artist
    Reporter/editor
    Reporter/editor (magazine)
    Informational-graphics designer

    MARKETING/PLANNING
    Public relations specialist
    Marketing consultant
    Advertising account executive
    Copy writer/publicity writer
    Advertising creative director
    Strategic planner
    Publicist
    Research assistant
    Editor/art director (magazine)

    HEALTH CARE/SOCIAL SERVICE
    Dietician/nutritionist
    Speech-language pathologist/audiologist
    Holistic health practitioner (alternative medicine)
    Massage therapist
    Employee assistance program counselor
    Physical therapist
    Legal mediator

    EDUCATION/COUNSELING
    Special education teacher
    Bilingual education teacher
    Early childhood education teacher
    Teacher: art/drama/music/English
    Child welfare counselor
    Alcohol/drug addiction counselor
    Social worker (elderly and child daycare issues)
    Development director
    Career counselor
    Residential housing director (residence life)
    Ombudsperson
    Pastoral counselor
    Rehabilitation worker
    Social scientist
    Psychologist

    ENTREPRENEURIAL/BUSINESS
    Consultant
    Inventor
    Sales: intangibles/ideas
    Human resources manager
    Human resources development trainer
    Conference planner
    Employment development specialist
    Restaurateur
    Management consultant: change management/team building/diversity
    Merchandise planner
    Diversity manager-human resources
    Corporate/team trainer
    Advertising account manager or account executive
    Public relations specialist
    Marketing executive: radio/TV cable broadcast industry
    Outplacement consultant
    Environmental attorney

  10. #40
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    You have it in your own signature... you can achieve anything you set your mind to and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed. That doesn't mean that you weren't dedicated enough to your past job... it means that even if it doesn't work out, you have to look for another path. And sometimes it means that you have to redefine success. This feeling that you have right now is why a lot of people are not successful. Because this feeling sucks and because it's hard to get away from. But it's not somewhere that no one's ever been before. You might be surprised if you reach out emotionally to your family and friends right now. I think that they are more likely to offer you a hand up then to look down on you. They have probably been there before.

    I know that you are perceiving that your lack of attention to detail, and your difficulty with memory, and difficulty with following through, and lack of noticing environment are giving you trouble now, and will probably give you trouble in the future. I think you've made a realistic assessment of your weaknesses, but I also don't think it's a prison sentence. Just like Jennifer, I share the same weaknesses. I think she and I both got lucky that we found positions where our strengths were able to eclipse our flaws. Honestly, in a pharmacy tech job, there is not that much room for artistry or intellectual process, or socialization. I think the job really required strengths that you did not excel at, and had a little room to spread your wings in a way that your strengths could become useful. This will not be true in every job.

    Plus, don't forget that the people who do not have difficulties with attention and forgetfulness have different flaws. So it's not like everybody else is a perfect fit for jobs and you're not. I sort of had that misconception for a long time, until I started working, and I realized how incompetent everybody else is, too! Nobody is ever perfect at filling the role. There's more flexibility and leeway than it seems at first, especially when people get to know you and get to see your strengths. I think this is particularly true in fields that require creative strengths, because, let's face it, creative types tend to be a little bit spacey. So there's a little more wiggle room for people like you and me.

    I'm glad that you haven't followed through with suicide... I think it would deeply hurt those around you and isn't really giving you a fair chance. And, for what it's worth, I don't believe that there is nothing realistic that you can do that wouldn't allow you to be happy at least some of the time. There are always going to be components of a job that are distasteful. My dad likes to joke that it's not called work because it's easy, and they're not going to pay you to have a good time. Is there a career counselor at your school that you could talk to you? I think it might be really useful for you to talk about your relative strengths and weaknesses with someone who has a good idea of the scope and reality of future paths. As for animation, I actually have friends who have gone into that. It's not an unrealistic idea. If you really liked it, I would encourage you to go to that academic department and compile information about careers in that field. Your mom is an ESTJ and should respond well to concrete data. If she were to see some numbers and statistics in addition to positive feedback from your instructor, I imagine that she might be willing to reconsider.
    I had only really just started the class, had never watched a cartoon and had never done anything even remotely similar to animation before (except sketch art). The first time I met the guy, he gave me an introductory lesson, and I blew him away with how smooth I was as a first timer. It was like I was already at intermediate skill level and had been doing it a while. Don't think he ever believed it was my first time. My mother canceled that class and replaced it with study hall, because she thought the intructpr was goving me unrealistic ideas.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

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