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[ENFP] ENFP/ENFP Freedom?

absoluteuncertainty

New member
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
26
MBTI Type
ENFP
You went off on an off topic tangent justifying your beliefs when all I did was stimulate discussion, as well as point out flaws in the OPs ideaology, which is something he wanted. I could write a huge essay as to why abstinance is not a good decision, but your entire arguement is based around SEX IS BAD BECAUSE SEX IS BAD! :huh::huh:

One topic I'd like to hit, however: As for the recent increase in divorce rates, miserable, terrible marriages have been the norm for..ever. The more you associate with people (much) older than yourself, the more you'll realize this!! It's simply that people nowadays do not find living an unfulfilling marriage ~for the rest of their life~ attractive!

I agree!:nice:

EDIT: This post is way too serious!! :hug: :headphne::blush:

I love all my fellow idealists even when I want to strangle them because of their ideals!! Hey I tell my girlfriend this all the time :wubbie::devil:
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
I never said sex itself was bad, just sex out of wedlock is bad. The evidence is obvious, Valtrax, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, you could go on forever, or you could say use a condom but we all know how well that has been working.

Anyway, you are right, I did hijack the the thread, I apologize, and dude I really don't mean to piss you off, just throwin out them two pennies.
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
You went off on an off topic tangent justifying your beliefs when all I did was stimulate discussion, as well as point out flaws in the OPs ideaology, which is something he wanted. I could write a huge essay as to why abstinance is not a good decision, but your entire arguement is based around SEX IS BAD BECAUSE SEX IS BAD! :huh::huh:

One topic I'd like to hit, however: As for the recent increase in divorce rates, miserable, terrible marriages have been the norm for..ever. The more you associate with people (much) older than yourself, the more you'll realize this!! It's simply that people nowadays do not find living an unfulfilling marriage ~for the rest of their life~ attractive!

I agree!:nice:

EDIT: This post is way too serious!! :hug: :headphne::blush:

I love all my fellow idealists even when I want to strangle them because of their ideals!! Hey I tell my girlfriend this all the time :wubbie::devil:

1. i think there is merit to a "hold off on the sex for a while". it should come later on in the relationship. you do literally become HIGH off your partner! oxytocin is a BONDING HORMONE that literally makes you want to see past their flaws and just "be oh so ONE with them..."

i cant remember where i found it, but it was a study comparing couples who had gone out for more than a year...and eventually broke up (not including marriages/divorces):

-the couples who had started having sex within the first 6 months generally continued these eventaully "broken" relationships for much longer than the other eventually doomed relationships.

the results were not to say that if you have sex, your relationship will fail, but to say that if it was meant to fail from day one, sex will keep you stuck in that bad relationship longer than you otherwise should have/would have.


the biggest problem with waiting for marriage is for the guys. girls, i dont think any guy will care in a bad way that you're a virgin! For the guys though,...come on...you NEED some experience! you want to be good enough by the times you meet someone you actually want to impress! it would be terrible for an otherwise great thing to be ruined by inexperience (and yes bad sex CAN ruin a relationship....i swear im not refering to my own relationships :D....)


2. there is also something to be said for how it works "today":
"you're hot", "so are you" --> sleep together -->sleep together often enough-->i guess we're together?!--> hang out more and actaully start to get to know the other persons flaws --> they stay together for the sex


3. also. some people wont even consider it a relationship unless there is sex involved! To them anything relationship that didnt get to sex was just "oh ya i kinda thought he was hot, but that did GO ANYWHERE". notice the key words: GO ANYWHERE. people today literally judge the progress of a relationship based on the sex! so while you're right that divorce rates really arent that much different than the discontent rates probably were before divorce was socially acceptable, there is a change happening in society that is on the whole disturbing.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
I went out with a ENFP tonight.

Be still my racing heart. I've never had someone so completely understand everything and likewise understand the other party. I mean my best friend is supposedly an ENFP (though most of the time I think he is just way too wrapped up in himself to be) but this was a whole other level of awesome. This chick got me and we couldn't stop talking, leaving her apartment was one of the most difficult things I've done in a long time. There was nothing physical, no talk of a relationship outside her telling me on several occasions that I am her new favorite person and that we're going to be hanging out alot.

Even when I left I called her to say "Hey I want to talk more" and she concurred and so we did, as she was walking back to her apartment from letting me out of the gate. Then I heard her yell 'HEY' and the phone went dead, so I did what any good ENFP would do and I flipped a U and zoomed back. Jumped the gate and ran to her apartment to find that her phone had just gone dead. She thought it was both hilarious and adorable and we ended up talking for another hour.

Amazing.

I think ENFP relationships are king. We'll see where it goes but if I know her like I think I do, then we are both in for a very exciting ride.
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
^ sounds pretty cool. good luck man~ wish u the best

Suppressing sex till marriage is trouble? How would you know? It seems kinda obvious that you haven't experienced holding off till your married, so how would you know its a big problem for all of us that are holding off?

yeah i actually in a weird way, I actually have a lot of respect for people who do wait until marriage. guys and girls.
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
To AngryAryab; keep fighting man, I agree with everything you said completely.
To FindtheJake; PAVE THE WAY MAN!!! I'm sooooo happy for you dude. That's awesome!
To Everyone Else; this thread is mine; if I thought it was hijacked, I would've found a way to delete it, but as it stands...this is exactly the discussion I hoped would happen.

Hey, as for guys; if you really wanna "know what you're doing" while actually wanting to abstain, that's why you start reading after you marry her (reading, not porn) and you are going to be bad at it the first night anyway; half the fun is learning together...if she's not a slut and really does love you, she'll accept you and your experience level!
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Also, I'm back at work today, so I'm going to talk to her more at some point and invite her to my birthday party; wish me luck!
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
lol, Triple post: Word up to the Socionics short definition of the ENFP: THE PSYCHOLOGIST!!!
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
^ sounds pretty cool. good luck man~ wish u the best



yeah i actually in a weird way, I actually have a lot of respect for people who do wait until marriage. guys and girls.

Well...quadruple post, Thanks man, I appreciate the support.
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
A Conclusion...

Sadly,
I had a major conversation with the female ENFP today; it seems that I wouldn't find her mature enough to have a relationship with (Well, she is 18 and I am 23)...yet. Plus she's moving out of local reach pretty soon, so it's kinda moot.

Hey, though, at least I know now what could be. :)
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Aw, that's a shame.

But even as friends, other ENPs are just brilliant. :)
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
So she sent me a text at 11am or so with some bands that she wanted me to check out. I responded with a thanks, a few hours later asked a question and so far nada... I hate cell phones. I really really do.

Like on one hand they're awesome because you can call people wherever whenever. On the other hand they make life extremely frustrating when you know the other person saw and read and hasn't responded.
Drives me loco. And further down the road when your better friends and understand eachother more, it's not a big deal but at this stage and with my damn intensity, it's near crippling.
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
So she sent me a text at 11am or so with some bands that she wanted me to check out. I responded with a thanks, a few hours later asked a question and so far nada... I hate cell phones. I really really do.

Like on one hand they're awesome because you can call people wherever whenever. On the other hand they make life extremely frustrating when you know the other person saw and read and hasn't responded.
Drives me loco. And further down the road when your better friends and understand eachother more, it's not a big deal but at this stage and with my damn intensity, it's near crippling.

i know EXACTLY what you mean! that and the only way i can express my energy and enthusiasm in text can come off as way too strong.

and i definitely hate how you KNOW they've read it by now...yet they wait to respond....or worse dont respond to that one at all...only to see the next day and everything is apparently chill... cell phones encourage my over analyzing haha.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
Exactly. I don't think I really analyze any of my friendships much, just when I really like someone. Then it's ridiculous to the extreme.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
well ok so she's a teacher and she's "super busy" this week and wants to plan something for the weekend but well shit... I hate planning stuff a week out and mostly I just want to go over there right now and never leave.

I hate emotions.
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,709
MBTI Type
enfp
well ok so she's a teacher and she's "super busy" this week and wants to plan something for the weekend but well shit... I hate planning stuff a week out and mostly I just want to go over there right now and never leave.

I hate emotions.

LOL!

Thats EXACTLY how I feel too. LOL!

Yeah, for reals, I hate the text and then wait kind of thing. OMFG!!

I wish there was a delayed text thing. Where u can send a text, and then forget about it. And it gets delivered to her like 2 hours later. So by then you are thinking of something else. And that added time keeps her "hungry" LOL!

seriously though, i began to like girls with good manners, and clear intentions. They usually turn like that after 25ish in my experience...
 

IEE623

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2008
Messages
196
MBTI Type
NeXx
So she sent me a text at 11am or so with some bands that she wanted me to check out. I responded with a thanks, a few hours later asked a question and so far nada... I hate cell phones. I really really do.

Like on one hand they're awesome because you can call people wherever whenever. On the other hand they make life extremely frustrating when you know the other person saw and read and hasn't responded.
Drives me loco. And further down the road when your better friends and understand eachother more, it's not a big deal but at this stage and with my damn intensity, it's near crippling.

i know the feelings.... i don't know... i just hate text messages... i hate to wait... yet i have to use them anyway.... sometimes ppl just misinterpret your tone of voice or any hidden meaning in those texts.... urgh
 
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