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[ENFP] ENFP/ENFP Freedom?

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Hi guys,
I met another ENFP at work; a cute brunette who speaks MBTI. We've started joking around/borderline flirting and I came to realize; I've never had anybody understand me like this. She commented that nobody gets her humor except me. She's goofy, I'm goofy, she's clumsy, I'm clumsy. We both seem to come from the same planet and we've been living on an alien world :cool: our entire lives and have finally found each other. :hug: :heart:

Okay, okay, so as you all know, I'm probably being dramatic, but living in a world full of people who don't speak your language and think you're a dork, it's a relief to meet someone who's been through the same exact thing as you and...well...both of you think that they are super-smooth spies on a (if I can steal a line from Chick...) "philosowarrior" mission from God to save the world.

Is it too early to say this is freedom? :alttongue: I work to better myself every second of everyday; when I look for my eventual wife--my soulmate, the love of my life--I don't want someone that will depress me because I'm a 'P' and she's a 'J' and she's a 'nag' and I'm 'lazy'. You may ask "who will pay the bills then?". I will...I always have, on time and without a problem. Yes I'm sure I'm an ENFP. I had to work on myself to become this responsible; it's called MATURITY!

So, as even Keirsley says, any two mature people from any type can come together for a good marriage...I want better than good. I just need a homeport...another chunk of ENFP-asteroid floating out in space to gravitate to when I get lonely.

SO beyond the "bills" argument, can anyone think of any good reason why an ENFP-ENFP relationship...all baggage out of the way, shouldn't be bliss? I'm not expecting complete perfection, but I do desire understanding and clear communication above all else. OMGoodness do we have that so far. We're the biggest absented minded people geniuses I've ever met.

HELP COMMENT PLEASE!!
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
there is a huge difference between:

"OMGZ we are so awesome together being weirdz!!"

and

hot and heavy ATTRACTION. Often it is not a mirror that creates attraction. Its those people who are so DIFFERENT from us that often excite us. I had an ENFP/ENFP thing go sour when we realized that it was like "dating myself". so then we were just friends...and now i barely ever see her...anyways....

it is true that any two healthy...etc etc.... just go for it! dont let MBTI rule your life!
 

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Any relationship could work. It's much more than MBTI type.

...the ENFP's I have met in real life do not strike me as very interesting which is quite dissapointing. :/
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
I have often thought that this would be the coolest thing on earth, but... drum rolls I worry about the boredom thing... you know where you say whatever... and she's an enfp too so she might be like whatever one day... Not saying it is going to happen but that is my only worry.

But like everyone else says, Eff mbti, don't let it rule your life.
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Sounds like the stuffs of a wild affair... not so much a marriage, though. Like the others say, the boredom will getcha in the end.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
Naw man, what's up with all these negative nancy's! Boo!

Live it up my friend. Chase the sun and find your home. I completely understand what you're saying about being around an ENFP and having them understand you and understanding them. It's refreshing.
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Naw man, what's up with all these negative nancy's! Boo!

Live it up my friend. Chase the sun and find your home. I completely understand what you're saying about being around an ENFP and having them understand you and understanding them. It's refreshing.

Did you know cat AIDS is the #1 killer of household cats? *wawaaaaaaa*

debbie_downer.jpg
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Drift

"Originally Posted by findthejake
Naw man, what's up with all these negative nancy's! Boo!

Live it up my friend. Chase the sun and find your home. I completely understand what you're saying about being around an ENFP and having them understand you and understanding them. It's refreshing."


Thanks to AngryAryab and FindtheJake; FindtheJake for giving me encouragement and AngryAryab for voicing my fears. I'd be terrified that one of us would just get board one day and leave; the only thing is, I wouldn't. She may do that to me, but I was raised with a very strong sense of stick-to-it-tiveness despite my flaky nature; if I start a relationship and make a commitment, I will keep to it; even if I get bored, so long as nobody cheats on the other.

I may know everything about her, but together we don't know everything about the world; I think that'd be the key to any ENFP/ENFP relationship; we would never stop living the adventure. They key is finding amusement with the rest of the universe, and experienciing that together...though occasionally seperately so we could make each other curious as to what the other has found.

Keirsley warned that two NF's may burn out on constant pilgramage (he was speaking to religion, but I think it works in general too)...so occasionally, we'd need to take it slow for a bit and recenter ourselves. I think it could work though.

Any other thoughts, good, bad or otherwise?! Seriously people, you know my viewpoint, but please don't be afraid to share yours, maybe it'll give me more insight that I haven't thought of yet.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I know an ENFP that came really close to another relationship with another ENFP. She said the main problem for her was the mutual intensity. Sometimes she needs someone that is calmer and less emotional to help bring her back down, and the emotional intensity eventually exhausted her.

What is really important at this time is whether or not she wants to date someone like her. If she finds you attractive and fun, I say go for it! It may result in the relational equivalent of a firework - but how beautiful it will be!
 

VanillaCat

New member
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
178
MBTI Type
ENFP
Well me and my dad are ENFP. Different situation, I know. But I wouldn't marry him.

We're loads of fun together though and we really understand each other. But if me and him lived together, without my mom or anyone, the house would be a complete disaster and we'd forget things all the time. We'd also get sick of seeing each other. One time, I stayed with him for two weeks, and we wanted to kill each other. I was so happy when my mom (INFJ or something) came back from vacation!
 

sciski

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
467
MBTI Type
NSFW
Enneagram
6w7
I say go for it, then report back at various intervals. *focuses microscope* :)
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
To tell you the truth, I would think it would be a hell of a good time. Man would I love to hang out with another ENFP, but I am also experienced enough to know that love at first sight is usually just for fun and not for better or worst.

I say go for it and have fun.
 

Tophsquatch

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Sex and Ne

To be completely honest,
The first thought I had was all the wild passionate sex and fun we'd have before the whole relationship exploded and went awry; like some sort of drug, we'd be really high before we crashed (and then burned, and then melted). My next thought reminded me that I'm saving myself for marriage...but oh, the possibilities there.

I have some unique views on sex though. I believe that sex too early has a severe detrimental effect on the unbiased emotional state of both partners in a relationship; it tends to make you very very connected emotionally & spiritually, even if you aren't really, or aren't ready for that amount of closeness. The result of early sex is often the destruction of relationships as the sex created a connection that neither (or one or the other) partner was ready to make had they been making the decision soberly.

In Other Words: Sex makes you wacky high off of your partner, and if the timing is off, it could create fake closeness that ends the relationship prematurely when discovered/understood. Love is supposed to be a choice and sex is supposed to reinforce that choice when both have already reached that level of emotional/spiritual connection and depth...in my humble (but correct, lol) opinion!

K, so I can see you all squinty eyed, but hear me out. My point is that I wonder what would happen to us if we abstained. Think about it...if there would be a lot of passion here, we'd be completely and totally forced to mature the relationship before we did that...which would be excruciating, but if we managed it, the fall from the high of finally doing it wouldn't kill us because we'd already laid the track.

Does this make any sense?

Anyway, all of the above is the Primary Ne talking, but here's my Inferior Si: We aren't quite there yet. The relationship hasn't even been consumated as a friendship (sorry to disappoint); so far, my Ne has been running the show and laying the track for what could be...which is it's job, but it's fricking annoying when I have to follow up in reality to figure out whether or not any of this is going to happen. All I know is, when I met her, possibilites started firing in my brain that never have before; I've been in another NF relationship before and it was amazing, but this one is me. No guesswork here. I know exactly what to do. Now if only I could do it...

I'm a cautious man (suprised?), and I will integrate her into my life slowly for further observation...the results of which, I will report here Sciski; this should be an interesting case study if not a fireworks display. Probably both.

Turn in later and keep talking; it helps me to hear the differnces in opinion and experience.
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
Dude, I totally agree with your ideas on sexuality. If she didn't put her finger through the hole you got (ring, you dirty minded animals), then you don't get to put your finger through her whole (now this one is for all you dirty animals to enjoy).

Just keep your head level and try to keep sober, that love thing can seriously get you drunk (I don't know who sings it, but something like: drunk, love drunk off my humps, my lovely lady lumps...). As long as you keep your head on straight, you will be fine, and remember, any time you mix a dude and dudet with enough alone time, the fires of sex for the heck of it are bound to consume you two, and then you may be in deeper than you want... but you sound like a rational dude and know what you are doing so no worries, and good luck.
 

absoluteuncertainty

New member
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
26
MBTI Type
ENFP
Wow, I disagree 100% on what's been said regarding sexuality. :headphne:

I believe that sexuality is an important part of the persona, and suppressing that (until marriage? omg!) is just asking for trouble. Marriage is a life long committment... If you believe that sex is an important part of one's persona (as I do), how can you make a life long committment without exploring that part?

As for the sex and high thing, well of course! The first couple or so times you nail someone is going to be a sensual emotional thing. What comes after this novelty of new boobies is what's important in a relationship. You can't deny that sex is important to you, as you are clearly fantasizing it!

I'm not telling you to go out and bang this chick silly this very instant. I'm saying to not delude yourself into preventing yourself from exploring this person when you're ready. :party2:
 

absoluteuncertainty

New member
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
26
MBTI Type
ENFP
" She may do that to me, but I was raised with a very strong sense of stick-to-it-tiveness despite my flaky nature; if I start a relationship and make a commitment, I will keep to it; even if I get bored, so long as nobody cheats on the other.


I know it seems like I'm jumping on you, and I'm really not, but as an ENFP, I could NEVER seriously imagine myself being unhappy for the long term just because of some internal contract with myself!! Life is a giant fucking appetizer variety plate, and it's injustice to just eat celery with ranch all your life when there's clams casino and mozzeralla sticks sitting right there. Life's too serious to take so seriously! :hi: :D
 

absoluteuncertainty

New member
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
26
MBTI Type
ENFP
Oh and on topic, I've had relationships with other ENFPs. Hottt heavy and yummy, but for some reason ENFPs I'm attracted to just love illegal substances, which is a turn off to me, since I looooovvveeee illegal substances, so I gotta stay away from em :blush:
 

ConchShell

New member
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
79
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm sure I read on another thread about relationship "problems" (??) between two INTJs. There was no fire or passion in the relationship anymore. They had become very comfortable with each other - but more like friends, and one partner was wondering if that would be all.

This is one problem that I don't think would occur in the ENFP-ENFP relationship. The ability to be goofy and nutty and the huge sense of adventure should keep that at bay. I think it would be difficult to be bored with another ENFP, but sheer exhaustion from over-exertion could be a problem? With two of you there all the time, you'd see double the usual quantities of possibilities and adventures and things you want to do!
 

Angry Ayrab

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ENFP
I believe that sexuality is an important part of the persona, and suppressing that (until marriage? omg!) is just asking for trouble. Marriage is a life long committment... If you believe that sex is an important part of one's persona (as I do), how can you make a life long committment without exploring that part?

Suppressing sex till marriage is trouble? How would you know? It seems kinda obvious that you haven't experienced holding off till your married, so how would you know its a big problem for all of us that are holding off?

These days, sex before marriage is so common, that the term fuck buddy is almost in normal use, and its not wierd to hear a fourteen year old girl ask for the pill. If you pay attention to one major problem with our society these days, is that the divorce rate is through the roof. Comparing this to a little bit back, 40's and 50's, when sex before marriage was not so common you will see a big difference in the numbers. Sure you can attribute it to a number of things like a sexist paternal society or so, but the numbers are clear to see, and the increase in sex is also clear to see.

Not to get on your case or anything, but I am just tired of people saying that your asking for trouble if you haven't sampled the vagina your gonna marry. WTF, am I marrying a vagina and boobs, or am I looking for my better half? I am pretty sure that as long as I don't marry a corpse in bed, I won't be complaining. Heck it will probably be the only vagina I know, so what would I compare it too to complain. Also, its not like abstinent people are sitting on their computers all day masturbating themselves raw or anything, we are just like everybody else, but seem to be of a more old school mentality on the subject.

Here is another little tid bit; do you think you would have ever seen a valtrax commercial on TV if sex was not such a common thing. Holy shit, they actually advertise herpes medication on TV... WTF. I am pretty sure that you don't need to advertise that kind of crap, and if you need it, you will probably already know about it. I am just nudging, but we do have an increase in disease today, and its not from a lack of sampling the goods.

Here is my philosophy on it, you do what you do, I will give my opinion, and I do what I do but will also hear your opinion. I apologize if it came off harsh, I know you were only voicing your opinion, and that is just what I was doing. Did not mean to come off as offensive, so if it did, I really do apologize.
 
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