[MBTI General] What do INFPs think of INTJs?

[JivinJeffJones]

You're an inadequate and disappointing mass of unmet deadlines and expectations who really needs someone to change you!

*poke*

[peeks through fingers to see reaction]

*goes outside for a smoke*

 

[Totenkindly]

*goes outside for a smoke*

"AND YOU'RE BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT AND BABIES' LUNGS!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

 

[JivinJeffJones]

"AND YOU'RE BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT AND BABIES' LUNGS!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

I always dispose of my butts thoughtfully. As for the babies' lungs, it's a valid criticism. I'll stop offering them my cigarettes. But it seems mean to withhold.

 

[Totenkindly]

I always dispose of my butts thoughtfully. As for the babies' lungs, it's a valid criticism. I'll stop offering them my cigarettes. But it seems mean to withhold.

lol -- so this is YOUR handiwork (?):

 

[JivinJeffJones]

lol -- so this is YOUR handiwork (?):

He was crying.

 

[nottaprettygal]

I suspect INFPs deal so badly with criticism partly because we hate disappointing people, especially people we're close to.

This seems true in my experiences. But what INFPs don't realize is that they don't have to constantly worry about disappointing the INTJ. You don't have to be there for us all of the time. We'll be fine. Trust us.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I suspect INFPs deal so badly with criticism partly because we hate disappointing people, especially people we're close to. We should be used to it, because we often do it thanks to our vagueness with deadlines and other practical matters. It's kind of hard to say how much is INFP and how much is just me. I know that I have a fairly strong sense of inadequacy when it comes to practical areas, so I'm well aware of my shortfalls in that regard. Sometimes when people criticize me in an ongoing way (ie actually trying to bring about change rather than just registering disapproval) I can overreact (eventually) out of my own sense of frustration with myself.

Well, the majority of criticism in the world/media/etc. seems to be expressed in an unhealthy manner. There is a tendency to invalidate and toss out the baby with the bath water so to speak. It's actually a bit of an issue that people should acknowledge. (hey there's a little criticism right there! whee!!)

There has to be trust in order to accept criticism. I think there are ways to express that there is no feeling of disappointment, just opportunity for growth? What you describe in part sounds like someone who doesn't accept the whole package of who you are? There is the critique that helps someone become more of who they are and the kind that makes them less. Big difference.

 

[proteanmix]

lol -- so this is YOUR handiwork (?):

How'd I get into this??

 

[JivinJeffJones]

This seems true in my experiences. But what INFPs don't realize is that they don't have to constantly worry about disappointing the INTJ. You don't have to be there for us all of the time. We'll be fine. Trust us.

This is fine as long as it is communicated. If, however, the disappointing act is followed by a day or two of silence from the INTJ then the INFP will probably start to think about straws, which is never good. Most of my experience with INTJs is from my INTJ dad. Personally, I'd like to be accepted with all my flaws. However, I'd rather be raged at for these flaws than written off.

There has to be trust in order to accept criticism. I think there are ways to express that there is no feeling of disappointment, just opportunity for growth? What you describe in part sounds like someone who doesn't accept the whole package of who you are? There is the critique that helps someone become more of who they are and the kind that makes them less. Big difference.

Heh, sounds good. Does it actually exist?

 

[nottaprettygal]

This is fine as long as it is communicated. If, however, the disappointing act is followed by a day or two of silence from the INTJ then the INFP will probably start to think about straws, which is never good. Most of my experience with INTJs is from my INTJ dad. Personally, I'd like to be accepted with all my flaws. However, I'd rather be raged at for these flaws than written off.

Silence doesn't mean that you're being written off!

Argh. This is bringing out my rage towards the INFPs that I have known.

An INTJ is an island. Occasionally, we allow visitors to the island. They are allowed to relax in our hammocks and have a few drinks out of a coconut, but at the end of the day, they have to leave.

The next day it may be possible to visit the island again, but a severe hurricane may prevent that from happening. Or perhaps the island may need time alone because after all, it is by definition, a freakin' island. Either way, it's better not to question why you can't always go to the island. It's not personal. Just enjoy it whenever you can or don't bother visiting at all.

 

[Usehername]

Silence doesn't mean that you're being written off!

Argh. This is bringing out my rage towards the INFPs that I have known.

An INTJ is an island. Occasionally, we allow visitors to the island. They are allowed to relax in our hammocks and have a few drinks out of a coconut, but at the end of the day, they have to leave.

The next day it may be possible to visit the island again, but a severe hurricane may prevent that from happening. Or perhaps the island may need time alone because after all, it is by definition, a freakin' island. Either way, it's better not to question why you can't always go to the island. It's not personal. Just enjoy it whenever you can or don't bother visiting at all.

That is an interesting metaphor.

I think if you spent time really tweaking it, you could make this a timeless gem.

 

[nottaprettygal]

I think if you spent time really tweaking it, you could make this a timeless gem.

Oh, I've already postulated about how the island's biggest fantasy is creating an archipelago with another island (or two). That way they are their own entity and don't have to let in unwanted, needy visitors, yet they are connected to something else that understands their nature.

It's quite beautiful.

 

[logan235711]

I am a rock, I am an iiiiiii--iiisslllannnndd!!

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Silence doesn't mean that you're being written off!

Argh. This is bringing out my rage towards the INFPs that I have known.

An INTJ is an island. Occasionally, we allow visitors to the island. They are allowed to relax in our hammocks and have a few drinks out of a coconut, but at the end of the day, they have to leave.

The next day it may be possible to visit the island again, but a severe hurricane may prevent that from happening. Or perhaps the island may need time alone because after all, it is by definition, a freakin' island. Either way, it's better not to question why you can't always go to the island. It's not personal. Just enjoy it whenever you can or don't bother visiting at all.

This does make sense, but would that make each relationship entirely on the INTJ's - or other island people's - terms? (not concluding, just wondering) Many of my interactions with people are exactly like that. When they see value in interacting, we do, when they don't we don't. The down side is that on those occasions where I need someone to have my back, they may all be sipping pina coladas in their hammocks on their little islands. It makes the friendship seem more like a casual distraction rather than anything meaty or reliable. Does that make sense?

 

[C.J.Woolf]

An INTJ is an island. Occasionally, we allow visitors to the island. They are allowed to relax in our hammocks and have a few drinks out of a coconut, but at the end of the day, they have to leave.

The next day it may be possible to visit the island again, but a severe hurricane may prevent that from happening. Or perhaps the island may need time alone because after all, it is by definition, a freakin' island. Either way, it's better not to question why you can't always go to the island. It's not personal. Just enjoy it whenever you can or don't bother visiting at all.

Beautiful. And thanks for the new sig.

Oh, I've already postulated about how the island's biggest fantasy is creating an archipelago with another island (or two). That way they are their own entity and don't have to let in unwanted, needy visitors, yet they are connected to something else that understands their nature.

It's quite beautiful.

I can attest, it is beautiful. But one or both islands might have to shift a little closer first, or they will be no more than visitors on each other's islands. I guess it depends on what kind of archipelago you want. (I might not be as much of an island as I pretend to be. Heh.)

 

[Totenkindly]

I'm sorry, but I keep picturing a Little Person <--- politically correct terminology! running around on NPG's head yelling, "Da plane! Da plane!"

(right before JJJ's burning aircraft crash-lands on NPG's island, which could result in a very Gilligan-esque sitcom situation)

--

I don't know if I have an island. I suppose I do, and anyone can come on at any time and wander around, just like wandering through Willy Wonka's chocolate factory... but don't expect me to be there waiting for you most of the time, I might be on the other side of the planet.

I wonder what other Type's islands might look like...?

 

[C.J.Woolf]

...right before JJJ's burning aircraft crash-lands on NPG's island...

Shot down by NPG's deadly efficient anti-aircraft guns, I imagine.

 

[Wolf]

Silence doesn't mean that you're being written off!

Argh. This is bringing out my rage towards the INFPs that I have known.

An INTJ is an island. Occasionally, we allow visitors to the island. They are allowed to relax in our hammocks and have a few drinks out of a coconut, but at the end of the day, they have to leave.

The next day it may be possible to visit the island again, but a severe hurricane may prevent that from happening. Or perhaps the island may need time alone because after all, it is by definition, a freakin' island. Either way, it's better not to question why you can't always go to the island. It's not personal. Just enjoy it whenever you can or don't bother visiting at all.

Oh, I've already postulated about how the island's biggest fantasy is creating an archipelago with another island (or two). That way they are their own entity and don't have to let in unwanted, needy visitors, yet they are connected to something else that understands their nature.

It's quite beautiful.

Agreed. This is a great description of the INTJ mentality in human interactions.

 

[nottaprettygal]

This does make sense, but would that make each relationship entirely on the INTJ's - or other island people's - terms?

I find that relationships are usually on my terms, just because I usually don't require as much interaction as others do. I'm not going to spend lots of time with someone just because it's "required" in a friendship. I'll do it because I want to.

Nonetheless, I'm usually around to back up my friends if they really need me. Although, I first like to see if a person can get by without my help. Admittedly, one of my faults is being able to just listen. If someone is describing a problem to me, I'm usually trying to think of a solution. And I know from dealing with INFPs, that they usually just want you to listen and quit offering advice.

Is friendship a casual distraction to an INTJ? Eh. No. An INTJ wouldn't be friends with you if they didn't want to. They aren't going to keep a friend out of obligation. So more sensitive types should calm down. If we're talking to you and spending a decent amount of time with you, we like you. Just don't expect us to verbally affirm it very often.

I don't know if I have an island. . .
I wonder what other Type's islands might look like...?

No no. You ARE the island. It's not something you have. It is you.

Not all types are islands. I would probably say that it's exclusive to introverted thinkers, perhaps even INT types.

Shot down by NPG's deadly efficient anti-aircraft guns, I imagine.

Damn straight!

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

No no. You ARE the island. It's not something you have. It is you.

Not all types are islands. I would probably say that it's exclusive to introverted thinkers, perhaps even INT types.

The INFJ description mentions a dichotomy between involvement and detachment that many misunderstand. They will withdraw to rebuild unexpectedly. Being somewhere between the two types, its a curiosity to me. Interestingly most of the people that came to my mind as having relationships entirely on their terms happen to be extroverts, but also some INs. I've certainly been an island, but happened to be one that no one was able to find. For my inner circle there is a certain line of communication that is always available, but requires a mutual ability to be able to say when its not feasable. To me it seems logical to maintain that freedom of communication just in case there is something important that happens.

Wilson is always welcomed on my island ...

The rest of you, get the hell out of here. Wilson and I need to be alone!