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  1. #81
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    Hmm. I don't love your example because I don't like to compare INTJs to alcoholic (abusive?) fathers.

    However, from my point of view, I don't see why data has to constantly be coming in to understand what's going on. You can focus on established patterns. "Okay, this person seems to be interested in talking to me, but then they occasionally retreat for a week or so. However, they always reappear, so they aren't speaking to me now because it is their time to retreat."

    This seems a lot more logical than thinking, "OH NOES! He didn't answer my phone call. He's mad at me!" It just rings of insecurity, and INTJs don't do well with dealing with other people's insecurities.
    Ahh, this reminds me of the affair I had with an INTJ. Honestly, I really did try to understand his behavior as his inevitable retreat time. Sometimes that worked. The problem was that the pattern was physical intimacy, then retreat. It was a miserable pattern that I struggled to understand for way too many months. Quite frankly, at the end of the day, I can't really get past the idea that this particular expression of independence and need for retreat seemed pretty selfish and hurtful. I recognize that INTJs are way less concerned than INFJs about what comes across as selfish and hurtful, but seriously man. Ouch. I gave this dude TONS of space, lots of ocean all around him... but I always felt like I was doing all the giving/fulfilling of his needs. When I finally decided that it was over, he did tell me that there WAS emotional intimacy on his end, but... I was never able to recognize it if there was. Maybe he did try to give and I didn't know how to receive what he offered. Hell. I don't know. It's all very regrettable.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #82
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    Ahh, this reminds me of the affair I had with an INTJ. Honestly, I really did try to understand his behavior as his inevitable retreat time. Sometimes that worked. The problem was that the pattern was physical intimacy, then retreat. It was a miserable pattern that I struggled to understand for way too many months. Quite frankly, at the end of the day, I can't really get past the idea that this particular expression of independence and need for retreat seemed pretty selfish and hurtful. I recognize that INTJs are way less concerned than INFJs about what comes across as selfish and hurtful, but seriously man. Ouch. I gave this dude TONS of space, lots of ocean all around him... but I always felt like I was doing all the giving/fulfilling of his needs. When I finally decided that it was over, he did tell me that there WAS emotional intimacy on his end, but... I was never able to recognize it if there was. Maybe he did try to give and I didn't know how to receive what he offered. Hell. I don't know. It's all very regrettable.
    You told me enough.. even showed me some excerpts, to make it pretty clear that if there was emotional intimacy he pretty much denied it, and that you did try and give him some space.

    Maybe trying to pin this down to type isnt very successful. Some people are, plain and simply, commitment phobic?

    -Geoff

  3. #83

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    I like INTJs. My husband's best friend is one. We had him take an online test, he scoffed at first, but complied. When he read the detailed results at personalitypage.com, he was like, NO IM UNIQUE DAMMIT! THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE OTHERS LIKE ME! I think he secretly thought MBTI was a bunch of crap. But oh, he was proven wrong.
    Last edited by ArtlessFuture; 06-21-2007 at 09:13 PM. Reason: added

  4. #84
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArtlessFuture View Post
    I like INTJs. My husband's best friend is one. We had him take an online test, he scoffed at first, but complied. When he read the detailed results at personalitypage.com, he was like, NO IM UNIQUE DAMMIT! THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE OTHERS LIKE ME! I think he secretly thought MBTI was a bunch of crap. But oh, he was proven wrong.
    That was almost exactly what I thought when I first took the test. I was pretty young though.

  5. #85
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    That was almost exactly what I thought when I first took the test. I was pretty young though.
    lol these two comments are funny.


    I took the test only a year ago; I think that I was enthralled that someone could read me so well (hit all of my "secret" things about me) and I also was SUPER EXCITED that possibly there could be information in the INTJ descriptions that examined parts of myself that I hadn't gone deep enough to find yet.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #86
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    I'll routinely reread the INTJ descriptions because of the sense of finally being understood I first had when I took the test. Yes, someone understands me. I'm not a freak. Well, that much of a freak.

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  7. #87
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    i :

    INTJs

    i like to put on my Te suit every now n then....the INTJ i know can put on her Fi suit every now n then too

  8. #88
    Senior Member Noel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    ...
    Dude
    I may be bested in battle, but I shall never be defeated.

  9. #89
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    Yes, you do. Because no matter how much you tell them that you care about them, they still want more. And when you're acting in a normal non-expressive manner, they'll ask, "Are you mad at me?" Then suddenly they'll retreat for no apparent reason and start brooding in a corner. They'll deny that it has anything to do with you, but don't worry, it does.

    They can be some of the most needy and insecure creatures that one will ever meet.

    /rant
    Ouch Actually, I don't think I've ever done what you mention in my life... or it's been a while, anyway

    Sorry



    My sister is an INTJ. I admire and resent her for the same reason (once again: ). She is incredibly hard working and concientious, and very succesful in work and school (I'm unemployed and an underacheiver in school. Needless to say: ). She gets high praise and deserves all of it. She isn't always cold, by the way, and she usually isn't... frigid. She can be kind of warm (but certainly not F warm) quite often and we get along well, even if ultimately we have a much different perspective.

  10. #90
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GZA View Post
    Sorry
    See. INFPs are always apologizing for nothing.

    My sister is an INTJ. I admire and resent her for the same reason (once again: ).
    When you're resenting her do you just retreat to your corner so that she has no idea what she has done wrong?

    I wrote that last post awhile ago. It's possible that I feel differently now.

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