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  1. #61
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    At this point it's rarely personal toward me. She just leaks emotions all over the place so much and my Fe absorbs them and I don't like feeling them--I don't like feeling most of my own emotions, but I cannot block her because the bond is so strong. The lower level of emotional leaking is why I find NTs so much more comfortable to be with.
    Just wait until she's a teenager.

  2. #62
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Just wait until she's a teenager.
    I have less than a year to wait.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #63
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Another great read. NPG's description of INTJs as islands certainly hit home. I read along nodding my head thinking "Yep. That's me". Question for you INTJs who live with other people: How do you make it work? I live with an ISTJ who's adapted over the course of seven years to my Garbo Moments, but still takes issue with my need to not socialize with others, or my refusal to answer the phone.

    FWIW, "writting off" is also something I've done all my life. My mother (bless her ESFJ heart) called it "using people". I call / called it "dismissing people" - they were no longer worth the effort it took, that chunk of my valuable time, and it was over. Now just because I don't answer your call, or visit with you for a few weeks, doesn't ment you've been dismissed. Throughout my life my friendships were always on my terms; I had lots (4!) of friends when I wanted them. I don't often want them. People tend to let me down a lot. So I cut them off. They don't have to worry about my antisocialness anymore and I don't have to worry that they're going to a) let me down or b) interupt something that's important.

    I'm really happy being by myself. I feel like I should feel guilty sometimes because I don't miss my husband as much as I know he misses me. He knows how I am, we have had rational (ha) discussions on the subject. I know how he is. Yet he still feels hurt that I don't need / miss him as much as he'd like me to miss him. And I still feel inconvenienced and angry when he calls me eight times a day to tell me what thought just passed through his little sparrow brain.

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  4. #64
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    Strange, I never thought INTJs would be such Simon and Garfunkel fans.

    I have my books
    And my poetry to protect me
    I am shielded in my armor
    Hiding in my room
    Safe within my womb
    I touch no-one and no-one touches me

    I am a rock
    I am an island
    And the rock feels no pain
    And an island never cries

  5. #65
    Senior Member Langrenus's Avatar
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    I think this is what logan was driving at

    Fantastic song. The idea of shielding and safety are slightly off though.
    January has April's showers
    And 2 and 2 always makes a 5

  6. #66
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Strange, I never thought INTJs would be such Simon and Garfunkel fans.
    I think the first person to sing S&G to me (that song, even) was an INTJ.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Alienclock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    Silence doesn't mean that you're being written off!

    Argh. This is bringing out my rage towards the INFPs that I have known.

    An INTJ is an island. Occasionally, we allow visitors to the island. They are allowed to relax in our hammocks and have a few drinks out of a coconut, but at the end of the day, they have to leave.

    The next day it may be possible to visit the island again, but a severe hurricane may prevent that from happening. Or perhaps the island may need time alone because after all, it is by definition, a freakin' island. Either way, it's better not to question why you can't always go to the island. It's not personal. Just enjoy it whenever you can or don't bother visiting at all.
    Wow, now I have insight into my INTJ boyfriend. So he really is not mad at me? He said he wasn't but, you know, whats his problem if he isn't,? He can never explain that to me, why his mood seem to suddenly change, and he will shut me out. Hmmm, so he is off to an island somewhere... and I can't join in?

    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    Close. I don't assume that other people are equally as independent (although they SHOULD be). The truth is that I just don't care, and I'm pretty quick to say, "Meh, that's their problem."
    Why should they be independent?
    "May our ability to smell be greater than our propensity to stink."

  8. #68
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alienclock View Post
    Wow, now I have insight into my INTJ boyfriend. So he really is not mad at me? He said he wasn't but, you know, whats his problem if he isn't,? He can never explain that to me, why his mood seem to suddenly change, and he will shut me out. Hmmm, so he is off to an island somewhere... and I can't join in?
    Keep asking, "Are you mad at me," and yes, he will be mad at you. It's never about you! Just leave him alone or find someone else who is going to constantly reassure you.

    Why should they be independent?
    I say people should be independent because that's an attribute that I value. That's all.

  9. #69
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Yes, be independent and be consistent. Be the same today you were yesterday. And tomorrow.

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  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Yes, be independent and be consistent. Be the same today you were yesterday. And tomorrow.
    Please. None of this stupid moody and dependent crap, it really wears me down.

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