[MBTI General] What do INFPs think of INTJs?

[Eileen]

Hmm. I don't love your example because I don't like to compare INTJs to alcoholic (abusive?) fathers.

However, from my point of view, I don't see why data has to constantly be coming in to understand what's going on. You can focus on established patterns. "Okay, this person seems to be interested in talking to me, but then they occasionally retreat for a week or so. However, they always reappear, so they aren't speaking to me now because it is their time to retreat."

This seems a lot more logical than thinking, "OH NOES! He didn't answer my phone call. He's mad at me!" It just rings of insecurity, and INTJs don't do well with dealing with other people's insecurities.

Ahh, this reminds me of the affair I had with an INTJ. Honestly, I really did try to understand his behavior as his inevitable retreat time. Sometimes that worked. The problem was that the pattern was physical intimacy, then retreat. It was a miserable pattern that I struggled to understand for way too many months. Quite frankly, at the end of the day, I can't really get past the idea that this particular expression of independence and need for retreat seemed pretty selfish and hurtful. I recognize that INTJs are way less concerned than INFJs about what comes across as selfish and hurtful, but seriously man. Ouch. I gave this dude TONS of space, lots of ocean all around him... but I always felt like I was doing all the giving/fulfilling of his needs. When I finally decided that it was over, he did tell me that there WAS emotional intimacy on his end, but... I was never able to recognize it if there was. Maybe he did try to give and I didn't know how to receive what he offered. Hell. I don't know. It's all very regrettable.

 

[Geoff]

Ahh, this reminds me of the affair I had with an INTJ. Honestly, I really did try to understand his behavior as his inevitable retreat time. Sometimes that worked. The problem was that the pattern was physical intimacy, then retreat. It was a miserable pattern that I struggled to understand for way too many months. Quite frankly, at the end of the day, I can't really get past the idea that this particular expression of independence and need for retreat seemed pretty selfish and hurtful. I recognize that INTJs are way less concerned than INFJs about what comes across as selfish and hurtful, but seriously man. Ouch. I gave this dude TONS of space, lots of ocean all around him... but I always felt like I was doing all the giving/fulfilling of his needs. When I finally decided that it was over, he did tell me that there WAS emotional intimacy on his end, but... I was never able to recognize it if there was. Maybe he did try to give and I didn't know how to receive what he offered. Hell. I don't know. It's all very regrettable.

You told me enough.. even showed me some excerpts, to make it pretty clear that if there was emotional intimacy he pretty much denied it, and that you did try and give him some space.

Maybe trying to pin this down to type isnt very successful. Some people are, plain and simply, commitment phobic?

-Geoff

 

[ArtlessFuture]

I like INTJs. My husband's best friend is one. We had him take an online test, he scoffed at first, but complied. When he read the detailed results at personalitypage.com, he was like, NO IM UNIQUE DAMMIT! THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE OTHERS LIKE ME! I think he secretly thought MBTI was a bunch of crap. But oh, he was proven wrong.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I like INTJs. My husband's best friend is one. We had him take an online test, he scoffed at first, but complied. When he read the detailed results at personalitypage.com, he was like, NO IM UNIQUE DAMMIT! THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE OTHERS LIKE ME! I think he secretly thought MBTI was a bunch of crap. But oh, he was proven wrong.

That was almost exactly what I thought when I first took the test. I was pretty young though.

 

[Usehername]

That was almost exactly what I thought when I first took the test. I was pretty young though.

lol these two comments are funny.


I took the test only a year ago; I think that I was enthralled that someone could read me so well (hit all of my "secret" things about me) and I also was SUPER EXCITED that possibly there could be information in the INTJ descriptions that examined parts of myself that I hadn't gone deep enough to find yet.

 

[Natrushka]

I'll routinely reread the INTJ descriptions because of the sense of finally being understood I first had when I took the test. Yes, someone understands me. I'm not a freak. Well, that much of a freak.

 

[Venom]

i :

INTJs

i like to put on my Te suit every now n then....the INTJ i know can put on her Fi suit every now n then too

 

[Noel]

...

Dude

 

[GZA]

Yes, you do. Because no matter how much you tell them that you care about them, they still want more. And when you're acting in a normal non-expressive manner, they'll ask, "Are you mad at me?" Then suddenly they'll retreat for no apparent reason and start brooding in a corner. They'll deny that it has anything to do with you, but don't worry, it does.

They can be some of the most needy and insecure creatures that one will ever meet.

/rant

Ouch Actually, I don't think I've ever done what you mention in my life... or it's been a while, anyway

Sorry



My sister is an INTJ. I admire and resent her for the same reason (once again: ). She is incredibly hard working and concientious, and very succesful in work and school (I'm unemployed and an underacheiver in school. Needless to say: ). She gets high praise and deserves all of it. She isn't always cold, by the way, and she usually isn't... frigid. She can be kind of warm (but certainly not F warm) quite often and we get along well, even if ultimately we have a much different perspective.

 

[nottaprettygal]

Sorry

See. INFPs are always apologizing for nothing.

My sister is an INTJ. I admire and resent her for the same reason (once again: ).

When you're resenting her do you just retreat to your corner so that she has no idea what she has done wrong?

I wrote that last post awhile ago. It's possible that I feel differently now.

 

[GZA]

Because Introverted Feeling is their dominant function. Unlike Extroverted Feeling, they process emotions in terms of how they relate to them and not vice versa. So, everything is personal with them. They can not detach at all, I'll risk to say, and they have the greatest sensitivity that there is. If there is a type that is there to remind us that we are all human. And it were INFPs like Shakespeare and Milton that have shown us the true splendor of the human spirit. They indeed are the quintissential NFs.

Awesome man! Made my day (it was murky and disassociative before)

 

[GZA]

See. INFPs are always apologizing for nothing.

I know. Sorry

When you're resenting her do you just retreat to your corner so that she has no idea what she has done wrong?

Thats the thing, she DIDN'T do anything wrong. SHES TOO PERFECT. I do tell her that, but I of course tell her that I respect and admire her for it at the same time.

I wrote that last post awhile ago. It's possible that I feel differently now.

I just read your post where you said you took everything back. If you feel differently, thats fine. I have no problem with the opinion you stated that I quoted. But your post there seems to have the same opinion as your first post (with the retreating to the corner thing -which, once again, is often an accurate account of what happens ).

 

[Venom]

Dude

too many?

i guess i could of just put one of each and been done with .

 

[JivinJeffJones]

too many?

i guess i could of just put one of each and been done with .

Dude

 

[anii]

What do INFPs think of INTJs?

On a good day =

On a bad day =

On a very very bad day =

 

[zarc]

Not an INFP but I shall say, I adore my INTJ cousins!

My lil'sis is an INTJ and she's perfectly wonderfully sweet towards me as much as she is sour towards others! Well, not always. She's learned to be more patient with others, sensitive and she's always been courteous. Rather like a Mr. Darcy but cuter and tinier and more social...

She mainly, since HS started, feigns interest or dons a polite mask so as not to offend others who are largely stupid around her (and they are, I've met/seen a lot of them--). And I do feel for her, I recall the dreadful days of hanging around teenagers and now newly imprint the dreadful days of hanging around adults who haven't changed! !! She only reacts badly after being pushed too far, such as seeing hypocrital behaviour or people being rude or shoving down their illogical ideas down people's throats. If it doesn't directly involve her, she's more apt to ignore it as it'd just be an unnecessary interaction.

She's very confident, self-aware and is not inflexible with her ideas or decisions as she used to be when younger. If she respects a person intellectually/emotionally, she'll want to learn more from them. Otherwise, she'll dismiss the person/s (w/o them being aware) and politely move on.

However, with intimates and myself, she's a playful, easy going expressive person. I suppose I'm somewhat the same as well. Ah, and she loves teasing me as much as I tease her (if not more so...) and jumping me! She was sooo much more open as a child though, still quiet around others but better able to blend/try to fit in. Now it's just all a bore and she awaits for HS to end.

All other INTJs are inspirations too! I'd huddle them all into a corner if I could...just to watch them eat each other (except for sis, she can watch alongside me as it'd probably be in my best interest to exclude her from it!)

 

[Ender]

See. INFPs are always apologizing for nothing.

If there was one trait I could break, it'd be that one. I catch myself, but I'm at a loss as to what to say instead.

 

[MuraKoji]

Well, what do I, as an INFP, think of an INTJ? In my opinion, they aren't fun to be with. Why? Because they are mostly too serious, and seek the logical reasoning. You know I can't make a really logical reasoning! Second is their J characteristic. You know, J isn't like a P - J is neat, tidy and orderly while P is not that neat, tidy and orderly. I think they would persuade INFP to be like them, and that's difficult to me

 

[luminous beam]

i like INTJs, i have a couple of close friends who help me focus and organize my thoughts and emotions when i tell them about life by reasoning with me. they are like the lens that helps focus and reflect my luminous beam back into the right direction lol...cheesy, i know, but true.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

If there was one trait I could break, it'd be that one. I catch myself, but I'm at a loss as to what to say instead.

I've given this some thought in the past, and it occurred to me that "Fuck you!" would frequently make a great substitute. With a smile, or without a smile. INFPs everywhere could really benefit from saying those words more often, I feel.