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  1. #1
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    Default Can ENFx women tolerate silence in relationship?

    How do ENFx women tolerate silence in relationship? Do they at all?

    With silence, I don't mean not talking at all or being unable to talk about things that matter. What I mean is the ease of being in company of someone and not feeling awkward at all despite of long silent moments. For example, when I am on the first date with someone, finding out that it's comfortable to be with that woman without either one saying a word for long time, like say 15 minutes or even more, just to fill the silence, would be more impressive for me than most of the things the woman could possibly say or do on that first day.

    That kind of silence is something that happens quite often with INFx people and I really enjoy it, but I don't have that much experience about extroverts in that sense and that's why I am asking.

    I am INTJ myself, should that matter.
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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    From what i have noticed is that they(and pretty much all people) seem to like it when there doesent have to be something going on all the time and are able to just chill out without any pressures on them. Ofc if you find one who is strong ADHD and bipolar, then they might tolerate it less. However i dont think this applies so much when in the beginning of dating phase and it varies based on the individual ofc.
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    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    I enjoy silence, I don't like small talk. I might not enjoy it though, if I feel like there is a wall and I don't know how you are feeling, and what our bond is. Hard to explain.

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    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    I enjoy silence, I don't like small talk. I might not enjoy it though, if I feel like there is a wall and I don't know how you are feeling, and what our bond is. Hard to explain.
    Mhm

    Edit: in full disclosure, it also depends on my mood. Sometimes when my mind gets racing and my energy is up, I might be a little less into silence. I'm pretty good about getting up and doing something in those cases if I can tell my partner is not on the same page. I tend toward introverts romantically, so it's a dynamic I'm familiar with.
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    Just a thought... I think most people appreciate a comfortable intimate silence... But it might vary as to what situations they prefer it in and how close you'd have to be before they felt comfortable doing it.

  6. #6
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gandalf View Post
    How do ENFx women tolerate silence in relationship? Do they at all?

    With silence, I don't mean not talking at all or being unable to talk about things that matter. What I mean is the ease of being in company of someone and not feeling awkward at all despite of long silent moments. For example, when I am on the first date with someone, finding out that it's comfortable to be with that woman without either one saying a word for long time, like say 15 minutes or even more, just to fill the silence, would be more impressive for me than most of the things the woman could possibly say or do on that first day.

    That kind of silence is something that happens quite often with INFx people and I really enjoy it, but I don't have that much experience about extroverts in that sense and that's why I am asking.

    I am INTJ myself, should that matter.
    If I was on a first date with someone...and we had periods of silence that lasted 15 minutes or more...most likely there wouldnt be a second date.

    If I knew you well and felt comfortable around you - of course.

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    A refinement to what I originally wrote based on the replys got so far: The reason for the kind of silence I refer to is not having nothing to say, but rather not knowing what out of all the options to say and not feeling awkward for not saying anything before knowing what to say.
    INTJ, HSP, 1w9 or tritype 154, sx/sp

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    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gandalf View Post
    A refinement to what I originally wrote based on the replys got so far: The reason for the kind of silence I refer to is not having nothing to say, but rather not knowing what out of all the options to say and not feeling awkward for not saying anything before knowing what to say.
    Ah yes. I know this. It can be frustrating when I'm trying to discuss something important with my partner and he is just silent for a long time about it. But only if it's like a problem resolution thing. If you're experiencing this issue, my advice would be to tell her you need time to think. That way she doesn't misinterpret your silence as you ignoring what she just said. Does that seem to apply?
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    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    Ah yes. I know this. It can be frustrating when I'm trying to discuss something important with my partner and he is just silent for a long time about it. But only if it's like a problem resolution thing. If you're experiencing this issue, my advice would be to tell her you need time to think. That way she doesn't misinterpret your silence as you ignoring what she just said. Does that seem to apply?
    yes or at least acknowledge you heard the other person. my mom does this all the time, the problem is she often isn't actually paying attention because I'll tell her something then a day later yell at me for not telling her something and I was like I did you just don't listen
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #10
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    If I was on a first date with someone...and we had periods of silence that lasted 15 minutes or more...most likely there wouldnt be a second date.
    ^ yeah, this.

    I'm fine with silence with people I'm comfortable with/close to, but on things like first dates I want to actually get to know the person and test our chemistry which involves talking. Actually, I'd expect a solid amount of interaction over the course of almost any date. Going out and not talking to each other just seems like something is wrong imo. If you want as much silence as possible and still have a fulfilling date, I'd say going to see a movie is a good option. In a relationship, an intimate silence is definitely good from time to time.

    Regarding type and silence...

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