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  1. #51
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Yea I am and it's so frustrating to top it all off I am completely surrounded by SJs which I love but when you are out numbered it can be quite daunting expecially when you decide to go off on an abstract dream and they are look at you as if you are speaking another language and tell you why what you are saying so just so 'impractical' and why you need to 'get a grip' *sigh*

  2. #52
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
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    i think my grandma's an NF(she could be SF), otherwise I'm the only one I know of.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

  3. #53
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris1207 View Post
    I just found out that I am! My dad's an ISTJ, mom's an ESFJ, and my sister's an ESTJ. I can't say that I've ever really gotten along with them.

    They all seem to believe that authority and deferring to it is some rationale. It's kind of stupid when all of your arguments end with, "I own this house and if you don't like it you can move out!" The more you reason the louder they yell that same line. It's like talking to a wall.

    I used to get really upset over this but now I just shut up and don't give a crap. The fact that they're SJ's just helps me to not give a crap even more. If they don't get me now they never will.

    Other stuff that annoys me is my moms ability to come up with a seamingly endless number of things that have to be done and when we haven't done all of them or haven't done them in just the right way she expects us to, she turns the biggest whiner. Grow a backbone woman!

    I could go on and on about the various ways that we're different but I won't. Needless to say, it's tough. As an NF I really need someone who will believe in me and stand by me as I venture into adulthood and find a career for myself and my family's been more of a hindrance than a help. They just don't get that I'm never going to come around to value the sames things as them and that by telling me my values are stupid they're just delaying my departure.

    Ughh... combine that with my addiction to MBTI and MP3 player forums and at the end of the day I can't help to feel as though each day has been any different from the last. Any NF's here have any killer careers that they really enjoy?
    I have a 14 year old ENFJ son.
    Poor thing. He's the only F in the family and the only E.
    He's not exactly the only NF - since I have some F to speak of.
    You sound as though you're just as strong-willed as he is.
    It's a shame your family doesn't understand MB Type.
    Since you're the person in your family who understands type, perhaps you could introduce it to your family.

    I'm sorry for your frustrations.
    My son doesn't do well with xSTJ types either.
    I just today had a meeting with one of his teachers who was ISTJ, I think.

    I highly recommend the book Do What You Are by Barron and Tieger for ideas on career choices for your type.

    Here's what they say on their website about careers for ENFJs:
    "Career Satisfiers
    All people are most satisfied and successful when using their natural talents in an environment that is consistent with their personality preferences and values. Research shows that ENFJs are most satisfied by jobs that provide the following:

    Opportunities to work collaboratively with other fun, creative, supportive people
    Frequent & sincere appreciation for their creativity, helpfulness & responsiveness
    Supportive, meaningful relationships with colleagues & co-workers
    An environment where personal & professional growth and development are encouraged
    A role in helping others grow & develop their fullest potential
    "

  4. #54
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    I really don't know. In all probability, I'm the only INFJ of the family. As for NF, I think my mother maybe ENFP.

  5. #55
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    Yea I am and it's so frustrating to top it all off I am completely surrounded by SJs which I love but when you are out numbered it can be quite daunting expecially when you decide to go off on an abstract dream and they are look at you as if you are speaking another language and tell you why what you are saying so just so 'impractical' and why you need to 'get a grip' *sigh*
    yeah...i can relate with you completly too *sigh*
    well, what to do about it?.. it's a physical, material, and practical world we're living after all.

  6. #56
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I am currently the only N, and hence, NF in my family.

    My father, who has passed away, was an INTP.

    My mother is an ESFJ, my eldest sister is an ISFp, and my middle sister is an ESTJ.

    Gah, sometimes I just want to shoot myself!!!

    My ESTJ sister has no personal aspirations outside of making enough money to live happily and comfortably.

    My entire family cares about money a shit ton more than I do.

    I get along with my F mother and sister a lot more than I do my T sister, but sometimes, er, often, I feel like the black sheep of the family.

    They are all about the ends, they are all about "doing what you got to do" irrespective of how that may be detrimental to your self, and sense of worth in life.

    Gah, it is frustrating, to not be able to relate on an intellectual or meaningful level with your family.

    I love them dearly, but they make me want to rip my hair out, often.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #57
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    I love them dearly, but they make me want to rip my hair out, often.
    Don't do it! You got pretty hair.

  8. #58
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Default Me too!!

    Thank you for posting this thread! I am also the lone NF in my family and in fact the lone N. Mom's ISFJ, Dad's ISTJ, little sis is ISTP, I'm INFJ.

    Growing up in an ISxJ household, I had very, very devoted parents who met every physical need. Emotional needs... maybe not quite so much. I knew they loved me, but I could sense they regarded me as odd. Throughout my childhood, I was very good in school and had a strong desire to please, and that went a long way with them. But by high school, college, and beyond, they began getting increasingly frustrated with me.

    They would give each other looks when I would go off on one of my excited tangents about the things I learned in school, or politics, or anything theoretical. They were perplexed by the highs and lows of my emotions, and generally seemed to think there was something wrong with me. They didn't like my artsy, alternative friends (probably mostly NFs and NTs, looking back). They had trouble comprehending how someone who graduated at the top of her high school class would want to be an elementary school teacher :o(

    Luckily, our relationship has gotten much better since I went away to college. I moved back to the area a few years ago, and I enjoy spending time with them in short doses. I've started talking to them a lot about MBTI over the last year -- it's one of those things I get excited about that they roll their eyes at a bit, but I think it is helping them to better understand my sister and I.

    I think it may actually be harder for my ISTP sister to be the only SP in an SJ household. She has little interest in school and is very resistant to their SJ attempts to control her.

    Anyway, I'm definitely curious to read more posts. I'd also like to hear about any sensors from an all-intuitive family and their experiences. My close friends (INFP and INTP sisters) have an INTP dad and an ISFP mom. From what I've observed, INTP dad and INTP daughter have difficulty understanding and appreciating the ISFP mom, though the INFP daughter seems more open-minded.

    One good thing about growing up the lone NF or SP or whatever in your family is understanding and appreciating other perspectives better, although that is sometimes at the cost of appreciating yourself.

  9. #59
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Gah, sometimes I just want to shoot myself!!! . . .

    My entire family cares about money a shit ton more than I do.

    . . . often, I feel like the black sheep of the family.

    They are all about the ends, they are all about "doing what you got to do" irrespective of how that may be detrimental to your self, and sense of worth in life.

    Gah, it is frustrating, to not be able to relate on an intellectual or meaningful level with your family.

    I love them dearly, but they make me want to rip my hair out, often.
    I can totally relate.

    Most of my family members are all about the money, too. They're always so miserable. Rich. Miserable. Their lives really don't have much depth or meaning.

    I can remember growing up with an ESTJ uncle who would always criticize me. That s.o.b. I realize not all ESTJs are like him, but thoughts of him still bring nightmares in my life.

    Thank God I can say Sayara. Ever since college and getting a drivers license, I haven't been obligated to visit that asshole.

  10. #60
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    They are all about the ends, they are all about "doing what you got to do" irrespective of how that may be detrimental to your self, and sense of worth in life.
    I know you probably weren't looking for comments and nit-picking, but I just thought I'd offer this, if you want it.

    It may not be that they just "do what they have to do" because they haven't thought about it in depth. It may actually be that they've just decided that the easiest way to get to the fun parts in life is to focus on getting the dreary stuff done first. I do believe, as many people probably believe, that the most worthwhile goal in life is to find happiness. Sometimes, though, I do put myself into situations that I know will make me unhappy (which I'm sure you also do). I won't be all smiles, but I'll be looking at the long-term goal of happiness. The point where this becomes excessive and self-defeating is when you spend too much time in the "enduring unhappiness" state, and never really get to the "happiness" state. Lots of people lose sight of that if they don't keep their eyes open, and remember to put things into perspective.

    Probably what's most frustrating is when they make you abide by that same mindset...I can understand why that'd be stifling. But in that case, it's still usually the "mothering" instinct for SJs. They care about you, and want you to be happy. Since they've found a way that they're sure will make them happy, they want to share it with you, so that you may have a way of finding happiness, too.

    I'm not the one going to school for Psychology, so feel free to disregard all that if you want. I just know that a lot of people on this thread feel much like you do, that the SJs in their family don't even want to understand them. Hopefully, those are not their family's intentions, and I thought that it might help to understand "where they're coming from".


    My sincere best wishes to everyone coping with SJs in their lives, especially unreasonable SJs.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 12-03-2008 at 06:07 AM. Reason: best wishes
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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