[Jungian Cognitive Functions] Healthy Ni-Ti loop?

[epitome]

How do INFJs learn to cultivate a healthy Ni-Ti loop? I have completely worn out my Fe - it's really taking a toll on me, and people around me.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

How is it taking it's toll on you?

 

[epitome]

How is it taking it's toll on you?

I have been unable to let go of the really intense desire to help certain others who aren't having the easiest time with life right now. I know it's not healthy, but it often gets to the point I feel it's my responsibility to be there for them, instead of giving them the space to deal themselves that they may or may not need. I am unable to gauge if my patience and willingness to help is being taken advantage of, or if I am doing the right thing by supporting them.

I am not sure how to trust my intuition when heightened feelings kick in. And my self esteem is taken a huge hit as a result.

 

[Opal]

I have been unable to let go of the really intense desire to help certain others who aren't having the easiest time with life right now. I know it's not healthy, but it often gets to the point I feel it's my responsibility to be there for them, instead of giving them the space to deal themselves that they may or may not need. I am unable to gauge if my patience and willingness to help is being taken advantage of, or if I am doing the right thing by supporting them.

I am not sure how to trust my intuition when heightened feelings kick in. And my self esteem is taken a huge hit as a result.

Before I can offer an opinion or advice I must ask: how are you attempting to help these people? how might they be taking advantage of you?

My impression is dom-tert looping is obsessive and informationally limited by default. I'm inclined to call it intrinsically unhealthy.

 

[indra]

Change your type to istp and chant regularly, "I am a Ti master." Soon your desire for care will turn into a snide machine of razor-sharp properties.

 

[Noon]

As long as you can disengage from "people input" - psychologically, that is - an Ni and Ti loop will automatically begin to navel-gaze a new foundation for relating into existence. We could say it's as simple as cultivating the perception of factors in place of relationships. Not caring less, but caring differently.

Pragmatically speaking, the right thing to do is ultimately a matter of benevolent intent and effect irrespective of the depth of feeling.

I have been unable to let go of the really intense desire to help certain others

Recently I had to let go of someone I cared the world about. It didn't take away my caring. I believe you can still care from afar. In fact, sometimes caring from afar might be the best way to make apparent the line between caring and interfering - or maybe "crutching" is a more appropriate word in your case?

As a bonus, if during your hands-a-little-off approach someone begins to demand you bring your hands back on? The line between their gratitude and their entitlement too will make itself apparent.

I know it's not healthy, but it often gets to the point I feel it's my responsibility to be there for them

It helps to remember that it's never our responsibility to determine another's direction in life. We can help shape its pursuance through our involvement, but its actual course runs whether it's us involved or someone else or no one at all; forces beyond our full control are at work there, to an extent.

They will probably be ok.

What about you though?