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  1. #1
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    Question INFJs--Avoidant?

    I read on another forum that INFJs might have a tendency to be avoidant. Is this true? How would that avoidant behavior express itself?

  2. #2
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    That's very general. I am not avoidant when I feel as though I have been wronged. If I feel passionately about something/someone I will not avoid it/them.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  3. #3
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    I am, to some degree, avoidant. I'm not afraid to confront difficult issues or people, but sometimes it is just plain easier to avoid them.

    If I have difficult decisions to make, skipping of the whole decision-making part can happen occasionally. I focus more on issues that I can be solve immediately, and I let the more difficult decicions develop in my mind for a week or two... or longer. That's avoiding.

    Also, it is said that INFJ is perhaps the most social type of introverts, but they're still introverts... which creates almost a contradicting complex: to be with others and to be alone. It surfaces so that INFJs go to others when they feel like it, but they don't let others come to them at will. It might be hard to get into contact with them, but it's easy for them to contact others. For example: I don't always answer my phone, but I make calls myself when I feel like it.

    Also, when everything else has been tried, as the last solution to people problems the INFJ doorslams the difficult person out of his/her life. Either for a period of time or for good. That too is avoidance. However, we are really patient and enduring and we do our best to fix that kind of issues... but sometimes that's just not quite enough.

    Obviously this doesn't apply to all INFJs. I'm writing on how the INFJ stuff I've read applies to me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    That's very general. I am not avoidant when I feel as though I have been wronged. If I feel passionately about something/someone I will not avoid it/them.
    I might withdraw at first, but yeah, eventually I'm going to confront somehow.

    I do think I do a bit of escapism when faced with overwhelming tasks (for example, dicking around on MBTI Central instead of packing).
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Only to a point.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I do think I do a bit of escapism when faced with overwhelming tasks (for example, dicking around on MBTI Central instead of packing).
    Mmyeah. Me too...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    That's very general.
    Too general.

  7. #7
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    A lot of conflict/issues aren't worth dealing with in terms of energy it takes and the outcome that is forseeable. I'm trying to conserve energy I guess. Also if I can't read a person, can't figure out dynamics and it's difficult to gather more info I'll avoid the situation/person. Aren't most introverts avoidant to some degree? Why is this trait more particular to INFJs?
    Likes Noon liked this post

  8. #8
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    A lot of conflict/issues aren't worth dealing with in terms of energy it takes and the outcome that is forseeable. I'm trying to conserve energy I guess. Also if I can't read a person, can't figure out dynamics and it's difficult to gather more info I'll avoid the situation/person.
    I'm like that too.
    I've often thought, "No, that'll take too much out of me to go through it", and dropped any thought of pursuance.

  9. #9
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    Why is this trait more particular to INFJs?
    Because INFJs are said to have hard time dealing with criticism. They fear of getting hurt, being ridiculed and being rejected.

    (From the16types.info)
    Disorder Perspective
    The personality disorder which is a pathological representation of the Sensitive personality type is the Avoidant Personality Disorder.
    Basic belief: I may get hurt. Thinking strategy: Avoidance.

  10. #10
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    Avoidant ? Yes...I can say I am . For me, all this 16 personality type stuff is totally new, I had no idea what INFJ or the other 15 types were or even knew that such classifications existed until about 2 months ago, I had only heard the words (Introvert/Extrovert). I'm still learning and new to this stuff.I dislike being avoidant , but I probably always will be, I'm sure it has to do with being naturally reserved and quiet, so therefore being avoidant would fit right in with reserved and quiet.The write-ups on INFJ's say we don't like crowds, I have always avoided crowds, they do drain me. Focusing on all the voices, feeling all the energy of the crowd, picking up on all the emotions, I feel exhausted when I get back from the mall for clothes,shoes,ect. One place I do frequent a lot is bookstores, like Barnes & Nobles or Books-a-Million, even if they're packed with many people, its different to me because people tend to be somewhat on the quiet side in bookstores and un-hectic. I also find it easier to engage in conversation with people in bookstores. Being INFJ to me is a mixed blessing and curse.I do make it a point to avoid loudmouth and arrogant people, but most other people probably do as well

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