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  1. #1
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    Default I need some advice on ENFPs/ENFJs/ESFPs/ESFJs

    ...specifically how an INTJ could woo one. I've always been attracted to extraverted and feeling-oriented men, but I'm a private woman, though not always shy. Could I ask what I can do/what part of myself I should show to interest a guy of these types? Advise me on any area of this your heart desires, from clothes to personality, from interactions to goals. Thanks.

    nanashi

  2. #2
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    well the only thing I can tell you is that every man is looking for something different so I guess you should first try to identify a EXFX guy first.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  3. #3
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    Thank you, Third Rider. That is some advice to keep in my mind.

  4. #4
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    dont always assume their extroversion 110% means that if they liked you theyd go out of their way to talk to you/ask you out etc..

    speaking as an ENFP, i LOVE making the quiet girls feel akward while i go up and flirt with them loud enough for the whole class to hear (like as in before the class has started) and they start blushing lol

    however sometimes, if the girl is REALLY quiet and doesnt respond well to that...i might then not flirt with her again, even if she secretly liked it ....simply because she doesnt keep it up! so if the E throws you a metaphorical pass, make sure to throw it right back and not just quietly be content that "oh i guess he might like quiet little me "

    so make sure your quietness doesnt completely drive them away! you can be quiet, just not intimidatingly quiet.
    Likes FwanjW liked this post

  5. #5
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    Thank you, Babylon Candle! That's useful. I prefer flirting back, but lately I've been pretty hermetic. Another classmate has mentioned recently that I don't sit with the rest of the class (I'm on the side and 2 chairs away from anyone.), so your advice is quite fitting.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    Truth be told, I am the opposite of Babylon, if I am flirting, it is totally unintentional. I am actually very shy around someone that I might find attracting (more intellectually attracting then physically). ENFP's find INTJ's and INFJ's Irresisstable, and we like how mature and quite you are. My only advice, is that we are really shy, so if we do go out of our way to try, don't cold shoulder us, or we will run away and lick wounds (male ENFP perspective).

    How to spot us, well we are usually the one that is smiling, being nice to everyone, and yapping their heads off.

  7. #7
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    so if we do go out of our way to try, don't cold shoulder us, or we will run away and lick wounds (male ENFP perspective).
    that is so true... lol

    dood, i turn on the ultra charm and attention if the girl is totally my type... i get so much energy... lol

    to OP:

    i was dating this entj, and since it was recent, i still remember. i remembe when she was in more of the quiet introspective mode, she was pretty cute the way she acted and thought.

    i think if u get to know them... reminding them of something they may have forgot about, like something they were supposed to do, is pretty impressionable in my mind at least... makes me feel kind warm and fuzzy towards them...

  8. #8
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    Thank you for the replies.

    Okay, it seems the gentleman I'm interested in is an ESFP. (I am just getting over an ENFP with whom a relationship wouldn't have worked b/c of differing beliefs and values.)

    I am really starting to think that it is hopeless, but I can't crush the feeling of interest, and so I somehow have a little hope.

    Haha! Modern Nomad, about reminding him of something:I just sent him the assignment for the day he missed in class!

    I feel like it's almost a lost cause. I am not good at flirting in classes. If only he was in a group of my close friends....

    Mmmm...I don't know what else to do besides paying more attention to my physical presentation (I'm assuming that's something that a XSXPwould notice and I should work on, especially since he's in the entertainment industry.) and just pursuing my own interests. I know it's attractive to me when someone has their own life & goals & activities.

    I don't know if I'm doing enough. Sigh. Or if I'll just end up embarrassing myself. Ugh.

  9. #9
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    Thank you for the replies.

    Okay, it seems the gentleman I'm interested in is an ESFP. (I am just getting over an ENFP with whom a relationship wouldn't have worked b/c of differing beliefs and values.)

    I am really starting to think that it is hopeless, but I can't crush the feeling of interest, and so I somehow have a little hope.

    Haha! Modern Nomad, about reminding him of something:I just sent him the assignment for the day he missed in class!

    I feel like it's almost a lost cause. I am not good at flirting in classes. If only he was in a group of my close friends....

    Mmmm...I don't know what else to do besides paying more attention to my physical presentation (I'm assuming that's something that a XSXPwould notice and I should work on, especially since he's in the entertainment industry.) and just pursuing my own interests. I know it's attractive to me when someone has their own life & goals & activities.

    I don't know if I'm doing enough. Sigh. Or if I'll just end up embarrassing myself. Ugh.
    If he's ESFP, he will likely pursue you if he likes you enough. however, if you arent giving him enough signals, he might think of it as too much "work". not trying to turn you into a possesion to be worked for (in a possesive sense)...just stating what i think is likely going on in his head.

    so bottom line, dont worry too much.

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