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Thread: Confidence and Guessing What Others Think

  1. #21
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    9w1 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    Sooo... I often wonder what people think. As people, we only ever truly experience our own experiences first hand, so it's always been fascinating to me when other people explain thought processes that are completely different. MBTI has obviously fueled this fire, and now I have new tools and reasons to wonder what other people are thinking about. I was completely happy with this habit, until I realised that this could be affecting my confidence. I am a classic overthinker, and a sensitive one at that. There are often times where I'll blow something (or nothing at all) out of proportion, and end up feeling uncomfortable about things I've really just imagined. I also think this holds me back in the dating game. Do I believe that 'nice guys never win'? No, I don't, so I don't think being more thoughtful in this way per se hurts my chances. What I do believe however is that confidence is one of the sexiest things to a woman, and getting worried over what someone else may think can be insecure. The fact that I'm NeFi means that I can never 'just know' what someone is thinking about, like an INFJ for example. I just end up going "hmmmm I wonder what they're thinking" a lot, so I'm not sure if this can become a point of confidence for me.

    So here's my conundrum -- how can I keep playing out hypothetical scenarios involving someone else's psyche while staying and coming off as confident?
    i think mine comes from not reaaly being affected by it either their thoughts are on them...i'm not taking responsibility for it. we're either compatable or ones fault.

    that seems to be the case more often then not but sometimes i do care and it bothers me....but what are ya gonna do?? i say just be raw and open about stuffs and work through it...without coming off as insecure too much...or without any sort of emotional fishing for compliments or reassurance. i always find that annoying. i'd so much rather someone just be open about how they feel rather than turn their shit on me.

    if any of that makes sense.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #22
    Senior Member Array Eluded_One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    6w5 sp/sx


    If you give an early vibe that you're too careful about what you say, that already comes off as not being confident. It more depends on the execution rather than the message being conveyed. It's kind of like having a good joke, but not knowing how to say it properly.

    Besides, when you are not being yourself, you might attract someone that isn't right for you. We're living beacons... or magnets... or just simply... people.
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous

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