Perhaps INFP was in love with the INFJ and yearned for more intimacy?
Maybe. There's so many maybes.
Ene will have to confirm or deny this, but I thought it was fairly clear by the fact that she is postulating this story to the forum that she, too, assumes that there may be some information here that is missing and unclear behind the INFP's behavior.
Oh, of course. I didn't mean to harp on about that, [MENTION=16382]Ene[/MENTION]. You can only relate the facts that you've heard. I only meant to observe the INFJ way of telling the story and how that basically means I can't really even discuss the meaning of the friendship problems as mentioned in the OP. It's no one's fault. It just means I'm basically useless, because I'm left with too many questions to give any answers. And I'm not just talking about a lack of insight into the INFP; I don't feel like I have real insight into the INFJ either.
Again, I'm not angry or seeking to blame anyone. And if others feel that this is derailing too much then I will back off.
I know that throwing all this doubt on the matter can be irritating and can seem like an attempt to undermine the whole discussion. It's just the way I process things.
I've had a lot of NFJs in my life, and one thing I know about them is they, unlike NFPs, tend to present a coherent story as they understand it up front. It does sound final and sometimes that can be aggravating to an NFP when our Ne clearly picks out the "trail" of missing information and our Fi tells us there's no way the story makes sense without more explanation. I did understand where PB was coming from when she said what she said. It felt like an injustice to the INFP to present her side of things as so clearly "wrong" and "irrational", when it can generally be assumed (and should be assumed until proven otherwise) that the INFP is also a person with hopes and pains and compassion, who very likely meant no harm to the INFJ, and who very likely also has a reasonable of a side of the story if we could only see it through her eyes.
Absolutely. I think that INFJs can be a lot more clear in the communication and I felt like the story conveyed that well. What I also wanted to say is that whatever is going on with this INFP, she is obviously communicating that poorly to the INFJ. That is certainly part of the failure.
I personally didn't feel a sense of injustice against the INFP per se, but I didn't feel the sense that learning her side of the story would be useful for figuring out what went wrong. So often this stuff can come down to a misunderstanding. I do sometime worry when I sense that the
appearance of irrational behaviour is considered enough to condemn a person. In other words, "she's not making sense to me, so she must be the source of the problem". I just wanted to offer a perspective that would add balance to the issue - how there could be a lot more going on that we don't yet know.
Yep, anything I presented from INFP's viewpoint would be guesswork, because I'm not an INFP and can't see through INFP's eyes.
See for me it doesn't matter which type the other person was. Her being a INFP does mean I may have greater insight into her though patterns but it doesn't change the way I have to analyse the information. I have to get inside the head of the person before it will make sense to me.
While I understand the "feeling" behind her actions, they still seem illogical to me, at least at first glance. To me it makes no sense why somebody 6,000 miles away would feel they had that kind of place in someone's life, regardless of what was picked up on or said. It's not logical. It's not feasible. So, I must be missing something. I have to have body language to interact appropriately. A long distance communication over emails and facebook messages hardly seem like a productive way to carry out a real relationship of any type other than something on the old fashioned pen pal level.
I feel it will make sense if I knew more - especially with a Judging-dom, because they lead with a Rational function. There has to be a reasoning behind it with a J-dom. This doesn't mean she will be in the right (in fact, it seems more likely that she's in the wrong), or that her rationale has been based on fair expectations or an accurate assessment of the 'facts'. But it also doesn't mean there wasn't a misunderstanding that started the problem.
It's interesting that the 'feeling' makes sense to you, because it doesn't make sense to me. I can't really understand the 'feeling' behind it without any insight into her thought process. What do you think was the feeling behind her actions?
in relation to [MENTION=16382]Ene[/MENTION]'s post or me in general with INFJs?
