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  1. #71
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    Your feelings are your responsibility, not mine.
    This didn't sound much like Fe-aux...? Why did you feel a need to mention this? Irritated with @calb?

  2. #72
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    This didn't sound much like Fe-aux...? Why did you feel a need to mention this? Irritated with @calb?
    calb's Te irritates them

  3. #73
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by calb View Post
    calb's Te irritates them
    Perhaps it was more like your Fe's doing calb... asking for compassion and dependence...?

  4. #74
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Please be mindful that the INFP in the story may not even be an INFP after all but some other type...perhaps it shouldn't even ever matter for the purpose of this thread life...
    FYP.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  5. #75
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    FYP.
    Thanks... but I am just trying to use MBTI as a shortcut to understand people and their motivations, which they are not necessarily very forthcoming with IRL... some of them prefer to disguise their motivations and some even are not aware of their true motivations... so real life communication may not yield answers or rather true ones some of the time...

    I also don't have anything better to do... Here's a Fe smile so we can all be friends...

  6. #76
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Perhaps it was more like your Fe's doing calb... asking for compassion and dependence...?
    in relation to @Ene's post or me in general with INFJs?

  7. #77
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by calb View Post
    in relation to @Ene's post or me in general with INFJs?
    Ene's post... I may be misreading this... Only @Ene can answer that...

  8. #78
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Thanks... but I am just trying to use MBTI as a shortcut to understand people and their motivations, which they are not necessarily very forthcoming with IRL... some of them prefer to disguise their motivations and some even are not aware of their true motivations... so real life communication may not yield answers or rather true ones some of the time...

    I also don't have anything better to do... Here's a Fe smile so we can all be friends...
    Sure.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  9. #79
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Ok... here's the thing... I love you both but...whenever you see the word INFP, you are acting as if the INFP in the story is you... and then you start making it personal.. Then you are trying to find some "excuse" in the story that would cast the INFP, i.e. "you", in a positive or at least non-negative light... and starting "whining" about how the story is incomplete or one-sided when you can't find any... and needlessly dragging this out...
    I love you too yeghor but here's the thing ... I would feel this imbalance no matter what types were illustrated above and I have already mentioned that. If the roles were reversed or any other types I would still want and need a balanced presentation, information from both sides. I can't access Te for logistical steps on how to proceed without that information.

    This is neither about you nor you feeling better about yourselves... Detach yourselves from the INFP in the story... Just give examples from your past (Si) when you felt emotionally connected to another person (despite being geographically distant from you) and couldn't get back the level of emotional intimacy you desired from the other person... and then try to explain "why\for what reason" you felt that much emotional connection to someone despite unfavorable circumstances and how you felt when you couldn't get back what you desired...
    Maybe this will help: I internalize the story of each person. My wiring makes it personal in every way, I feel it from the inside and then come out with potential understanding. I can't "feel" the solo person here and can only partially feel the busy person. So, as a result, my own personal experiences are irrelevant, because there's nothing I can connect them to when I can't feel the parties involved. In essence, I do the exact opposite of detaching, since detaching yields no fruit.

    This isn't about feeling better about the INFP or myself. You are wrong here.

    OP is asking for possible scenarios about why INFP may have acted that way... not a judgment about who's right or wrong...
    How many of the 100 reasons I can think of would you like me to post? In order of probability?

    I personally think that that level of emotional attachment despite a large geographical distance must imply some kind of emotional starvation in the other side...loneliness, depression, not feeling good about self etc... I don't know if @Ene mentioned to the other person that she was an INFJ and whether that has something to do with it...i.e. whether the other person ascribed some kind of "uniqueness" status to her, hence making @Ene a scarce but prized supply of (narcissistic?) satisfaction for the other...that is to say, did @Ene's INFJ identity become much more important to the other than her real identity\self?
    When you say this it feels rudimentary. Like using an axe to slice an apple. Sure, those could be reasons, but a relationship is synergistic. None of what you're saying accounts for that dynamic.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  10. #80
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    How many of the 100 reasons I can think of would you like me to post? In order of probability?
    Yes please... Your 2 or 3 best shots... Or scenarios that actually heppened to you IRL...

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    When you say this it feels rudimentary. Like using an axe to slice an apple. Sure, those could be reasons, but a relationship is synergistic. None of what you're saying accounts for that dynamic.
    As others mentioned there was a difference in expected emotional feedback on both sides... So the other side (regardless of type) disengaged because he\she didn't feel that he\she was leaving the meal table with a full stomach but hungry... Why she expected to get all her nourishment from @Ene's table, that I do not know...

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