User Tag List

First 123412 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 248

  1. #11
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    3,545

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Star View Post
    To be honest, I'm upset with the INFP woman, because I see the worst of myself in her. At least I can see it now from another person's point of view, so I'll work on improving my own character based on this.

    Thanks for sharing, @Ene!
    Thank you, Morning Star, for reading and for sharing
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  2. #12
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    3,545

    Default

    Thanks everyone.

    I've learned and internalized some important things from this.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  3. #13
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    I feel like I've kind of been on both ends of that kind of thing wonder if I will be like the INFP in the future because I don't have much of a social life outside of family. I'm content for now, though. The lady I clean for doesn't have much of a social life outside of family. Her husband is dead and her kids are grown and she seems pretty happy mostly just hanging out at home and reading romance novels. Maybe I'll be the same way when I'm in my eighties.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #14
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,786

    Default

    seems like i would break up with the INFP, no matter what type anyone who demands that much of my time I couldn't sustain the friendship

    the INFP could join some social thing, like my grandfather played bridge like 3 times a week, golfed ect was involved with his church and local politics

    my mom does needle point and makes chocolates plus work over 40 hours a week, does church things. Goes out to lunch with her best friends at least once a month, gardens

    my dad was involved in boating, mechanical things such as cars and boats, the music scene and the bar scene

    the point is they all had social lives despite not being around family constantly
    like she can find stuff she enjoys to fill her time, and not bother the INFJ who has a busy life
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #15
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by March View Post
    Looks to me like two people with different needs from the relationship. It's okay for 'INFJ' to desire low-maintenance relationships because she doesn't want to make time for (additional) high-maintenance relationships. But it's just as okay for 'INFP' to be looking for a more high-priority spot in someone's life, and to not settle for scraps if she wants a full meal.

    I'd say it's not okay for INFP to tell INFJ she shouldn't hang out with other people if that cuts into INFP-time (even if INFP and INFJ were married I'd consider that a warning sign - it might just be a weirdly worded opening bid of 'dude, I'm lonely and I want to hang out with YOU because I miss you - can you clear your schedule a bit?' but it might be the beginning of a controlling relationship), but that it's also not okay for INFJ to disregard INFP as 'childish, despite being older' (INFP had legitimate needs and the situation, pure and simple, was that INFJ cared more about other things than meeting those needs - it's more intellectually honest to say 'I didn't want to spend the energy giving INFP what she wanted. I wish we could have had a mutually fulfilling relationship, but she needed what she needed and in the end my other commitments were more important to me than not disappointing INFP').
    This is a great post because it achieves balance, with neither party cast as being the 'issue'. All of the details paint a picture but one that potentially takes us down a bunch of blind alleys. The issue is the mismatch of expectations. And this post addresses that issue gracefully.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #16
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    This is a great post because it achieves balance, with neither party cast as being the 'issue'. All of the details paint a picture but one that potentially takes us down a bunch of blind alleys. The issue is the mismatch of expectations. And this post addresses that issue gracefully.
    Yep. Sometimes neither person is in the wrong but things just can't work for them for some reason. I don't think vilification is necessary to be unwilling or unable to participate in a particular relationship, unless it's a minor child or an aged parent, etc. Everyone has priorities and nobody can be all things to all people.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #17
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    I know I'm not coming from either INF end, and I can't really address those concerns, but the feelings the INFP is expressing are feelings I have felt before and currently feel about friends who I've become very drawn to, but who don't have reciprocal time and/or interest in me. It can be very hard to walk the emotional tightrope of enjoying their company but not becoming too attached. It's sort of painful in a way to keep them at arm's length and to mostly be an observer in their life when you are ready and wanting to give so much to them. It's almost like unrequited love in a way. Its platonic cousin, if you will. I wonder if this is somewhat similar to what your INFP is going through. I think a lot of it is about emotional self-regulation and I think Fi is probably worse at that than Fe.

  8. #18
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,932

    Default

    Sounds like two people with differing needs and desires out of their friendships, and in different places in their individual lives.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  9. #19
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    7,376
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    3,545

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I know I'm not coming from either INF end, and I can't really address those concerns, but the feelings the INFP is expressing are feelings I have felt before and currently feel about friends who I've become very drawn to, but who don't have reciprocal time and/or interest in me. It can be very hard to walk the emotional tightrope of enjoying their company but not becoming too attached. It's sort of painful in a way to keep them at arm's length and to mostly be an observer in their life when you are ready and wanting to give so much to them. It's almost like unrequited love in a way. Its platonic cousin, if you will. I wonder if this is somewhat similar to what your INFP is going through. I think a lot of it is about emotional self-regulation and I think Fi is probably worse at that than Fe.
    I think you've made some very valid points here. Thank you.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs and Friendships/Relationships
    By labyrinthine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 09-07-2013, 12:59 AM
  2. [NF] INFP and INFJ friendship?
    By Ribonuke in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-18-2012, 10:24 AM
  3. [NF] INFP and INFJ Friendship
    By TheEmeraldCanopy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 02-25-2010, 02:28 AM
  4. Hello -- INFP/INFJ
    By Ruth in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-24-2008, 12:51 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO