User Tag List

First 3111213141523 Last

Results 121 to 130 of 248

  1. #121
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Well I'm in my 30s and still yet to master control of my F... I think it should be the same with other NFs...
    Control of emotions is an illusion, which I have learned first-hand in my life. We endeavour to control that which we fear.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #122
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Te
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Control of emotions is an illusion, which I have learned first-hand in my life. We endeavour to control that which we fear.
    Te.... Te it

  3. #123
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by calb View Post
    Te.... Te it
    I have (as point of fact, I am very good at doing so) and it has led me out of balance a few times now.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #124
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    2,418

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Control of emotions is an illusion, which I have learned first-hand in my life. We endeavour to control that which we fear.
    Well I don't want things like fear, depression, sadness and anxiety (which I relate to F) get triggered too easily...I want to develop a higher trigger threshold...

  5. #125
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Well I don't want things like fear, depression, sadness and anxiety (which I relate to F) get triggered too easily...I want to develop a higher trigger threshold...
    *nods* I hear you. I feel like that too sometimes. For me, the most helpful awareness is an acceptance that there are no bad emotions, only less effective ways of experiencing those emotions. In general, to desire to side-step or fear those more negative states leads one to act in an avoidant manner. Feeling them and being grateful for them has ultimately (for me) been a better solution leading to healthier outcomes.

    I can Te my emotions to the ground. Harness them like a horse and put them to work. However, it can be easy to think one is managing the horse well until it throws you to the ground. My personal mantra is more about balance, finding the mid-point, and being ok with how I feel about that. But that's a long story, and not really pertinent to the thread.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #126
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Te
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I have (as point of fact, I am very good at doing so) and it has led me out of balance a few times now.
    Yeah Te is Fi's shadow. And since it is the inferior, it will take up to you are 50 before everything is balanced.... I only got a handle on my Fi now.

  7. #127
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by calb View Post
    Yeah Te is Fi's shadow. And since it is the inferior, it will take up to you are 50 before everything is balanced.... I only got a handle on my Fi now.
    4 more years!
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #128
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by underwaterthing View Post
    A possible source of conflict between INxJs and IxFPs (especially INFPs): In their interactions with others, Ni+Je wants to fill in the blanks as much as possible, while Fi is very sensitive to being prejudged and takes it very personally. From what I've both read and seen in real life, INxJs naturally make these big intuitive leaps and tend to form pictures of something even from a small amount of input. As long as the INxJ is healthy, these pictures of reality are dynamic (and are sometimes nearly accurate from the beginning anyway); they change as more input comes in, so their prejudgments aren't really a big deal in the long run. Basically, they judge quickly but are aware of the lack of 100% accuracy in those judgments and are open to changing their opinions. Unhealthy INxJs are a different story, but I won't get into that here.
    Can we just call it what it is? INFJs are projecting.
    I find them so hideously inaccurate on just about everything; it's as if they "fill in" blanks so as to make others inferior, requiring "help" & benefitting from the INFJ. It's all about the INFJ's ego. I've never felt so unknown as when interacting with an INFJ. To have to constantly tip toe around their fragile egos is exhausting, which is why I won't do it anymore.

    The pattern here is typical. The INFJ is called out on their BS. INFJs in general will not directly address any criticism, but try to reframe it so as to deflect. It's not about INFJs being arrogant asses anymore, but why are INFPs so sensitive? This is also not logical of them (because doesn't believe the hype, INFPs are the logical ones, not INFJs) because they aren't addressing the argument, but instead attacking the speaker. Even IF INFPs are sensitive, that doesn't mean our points are not valid..

    INFPs, don't accept their premise. Don't explain why or why not something is, but question IF it even is. PB did it at the outset of the thread. INFJs don't like it because it presents another possible interpretation of reality, when like all Pi-dom, they want ONE, and multiples threaten them. When an INFP is young & has less robust Ne & poor Si, it is fine for the INFJ because the INFP will tend to consider the INFJ premise as a view to be explored, and this deflection keeps the INFJ in the position of condescension that they like. But as our perceiving gets stronger (things are possible, but unlikely), our Fi provides depth of understanding & ability to spot inconsistencies in Si data patterns, we're more likely to question their premise. That's when there's a clash.

    For IxFPs, however, judgments are usually a big deal and, except in cases in which someone crosses their personal values, are formed more slowly. They're very sensitive themselves to feeling like teheir voices are being lost in translation; being incorrectly judged feels like being erased/buried under other people's incorrect assumptions, and feels painfully depreciating, especially when they value the person judging them. Because of this personal sensitivity combined with their empathy, IxFPs are also extremely sensitive about seeing others being incorrectly/unfairly judged and will stand up for them if they believe it's happening. For an INFP who has enough NeTe to balance out FiSi, when getting to know someone they will juggle various possibilities about what that person could be like instead of forming a single but also dynamic vision like a healthy INxJ.
    I think this has more of an enneagram 9 flavor to it. Maybe I'll think more about it & expound on why, but I don't think INFP separate from e9 necessarily works like this.

    Offhand, I'd say I get a sense of someone as a whole, but am largely indifferent as to assigning it any value judgment. If I do, then it tends to be in relation to me (do I want to be around them?) not a universal judgement of their character. The rest I can relate to, but there's something more of a detachment to it than a painful sensitivity, unless we're using sensitivity to mean a more refined grasp of why people are as they are.

    Okay... I have it. I think e9s suspend even perhaps a personal opinion of someone, whereas I only hold off on a universal one.
    And my personal opinion is not really static, or I allow awareness of potential to not make me jump to a unchangeable conclusion. I think some of it is that a judgement is really Te, whereas Fi rational reasoning is more about grasping meaning, or what someone's individual nature is, without a role being assigned (ie. friend, enemy, bad, good). Fe types tend to quickly put people into social roles (which is why the OP's account of that supposed INFP is odd). People who are not Fi types think of "values" as such defined, static things, when for an IxFP it's experienced as refining the inner scales to gauge value, and resonation with something on an essential level, not because it fits into a category. The essence of someone can be got at, but initially I can only say how much it appeals to me, not how it relates to humanity on a larger scale. As more data is gathered (more Ne sussing potential & Si noting consistent patterns in observable traits), then you may move closer to an outward judgement.


    As the INFP learns more, Te narrows down the possibilities until they finally make a definite judgment about the person. Because Te is the INFP's inferior function, reforming those Te judgments is usually a pain in the ass so they tend to be pretty static, or at least not often changed. (Unless the INFP has very good use of Te.) (There are also more layers to this that I'm not going into detail about; usually there are little Ne doubts dancing around and trying to pick the Te steel locks.)
    But I think this is not an inferior Te weakness. This is SiTe in an INFP which has formed a judgement that is no longer about like/dislike or seeing potential or essence, but how someone generally is & what results that leads to. It may get cold at that point, but it's not necessarily a weakness. I'd say it's when you simply stop giving the benefit of the doubt because there's really none left.

    I guess my main theory is:
    Because IxFPs are so sensitive to being judged, and also because 1) their own inner experience with using (inferior) Je suggests that it's very final and judgmental and 2) the flexibility of Ni in the healthy INxJ isn't always externally obvious, the judgments of the INxJ can come across as offensive, closed-minded and arrogant to those IxFPs who don't understand the INxJ's strategy of forming a single, dynamic vision (which has nuances that are difficult to articulate) instead of juggling multiple possibilities and waiting to form judgments like a Perceiver (esp. NP). This sensitivity can come across as prickliness or "boo hoo, poor me" egocentric hypersensitivity to INxJs. Similarly, INxJs can miss the depth in the IxFP's microcosmic way of thinking, understanding people, and forming values; also Ne in NFPs can make them appear shallow and wishy-washy to INxJs who don't understand the Fi core underneath Ne means we can juggle possibilities without actually changing our minds all the time.

    Nah, I don't have an issue with INFJ judgment because of "finality". Funny because I see them as inconsistent & wishy-washy because they may make a snap judgment or decision & then back out later.
    Anyhow, I have an issue with it because it's not based on a good grasp of someone, but rather, whether they take on an acceptable role as a peon in the INFJ's vision. This does trigger inferior Te, because it seems an inhuman (that's a better word that "impersonal" IMO) way of categorizing people. It's not grasping someone for who they are, but how they fit into some system. And the fact that the INFJ can't discern between a personal judgement & universal one is also annoying. It's as if they claim no personal judgment is there, but it's glaring to an INFP.

    This pattern doesn't occur the same way in INTJs either. The dynamic between INFPs & INTJs is very different.

    Another general clash:
    - To some Ne-users, Ni+Je can appear too inflexible (even though it's not if the individual is healthy). I believe that to some Ni-users, Ne (especially without Ti) can seem like mentally bouncing around the room at 100 mph.
    INxPs bouncing around the room?
    I think that's more Pe-dom, period.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #129
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    InFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sp/sx
    Posts
    996

    Default

    Thanks to everyone who provided feedback. I'll respond to each of you in the next day or two.

  10. #130
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Te
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    4 more years!

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs and Friendships/Relationships
    By labyrinthine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 09-07-2013, 12:59 AM
  2. [NF] INFP and INFJ friendship?
    By Ribonuke in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-18-2012, 10:24 AM
  3. [NF] INFP and INFJ Friendship
    By TheEmeraldCanopy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 02-25-2010, 02:28 AM
  4. Hello -- INFP/INFJ
    By Ruth in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-24-2008, 12:51 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO