[INFJ] sympathy for the despicable

[niffer]

I can't feel sympathy for anyone that's on TV/talked about in the media unless I know them personally or I watch them getting killed. I can only feel horrified. (Actually, I can't really feel sympathy for ANYONE unless I've talked to them before or seen them IRL.)

Sorry to disappoint.

 

[KMCE]

I have no sympathy for people who commit horrible crimes such as mass murder, child molestation, etc. They get what they deserve.

Exactly.

 

[Xander]

Yay, yay, what a Xanderific answer!!!

I am going to ask you to explain this at some point you know.

Some situations this would apply more than others. When Uday and Qusay were shot, it did seem like they got off pretty easy based on the torture they inflicted all their lives.

It's not about revenge, it's about justice and protection. Remove the cancer from society, it matters not how other than as a possible stain on your character and to give opportunity for them to evade.

A single shot to the head is practical, the common methods of execution are entertainment for the bloodthirsty masses and is little better than state sanctioned torture.

A single shot to the head removes the cancer and gives it's passing no more fanfare than is absolutely necessary and creates less cause for martyrdom amongst any followers.

To quote the cillit bang advert "BANG, and the dirt is gone".

 

[Eileen]

When considering topics like this, I make a distinction between sympathy, compassion, and pity.

Sympathy means "same feeling". I can sympathize with someone if I've felt the same way they're feeling. (You break your arm; I broke my arm when I was ten. I can sympathize with you because I've felt it too.) I may occasionally come across a despicable person for whom I feel sympathy--having been in a similar position or dealt with similar feelings myself, yet not chosen to act as they've acted. It's pretty rare, though. Right now I can't think of any.

I link compassion to a sort of personal mercy. It may be impossible (and undesirable) for them to receive actual mercy from the courts or judges, but I may grant them mercy in my own mind. Taking into account their particular circumstances--or simply refusing to stand in judgment on them--I choose compassion over hatred or anger. Sometimes I do this, but not regularly.

I do often feel pity for despicable people. I feel sorry for them. It doesn't make me want to protect them from the consequences of their wrongdoing, though. I pity them because they've become twisted and ugly and broken; because they are so much less than they could have been. Even if they enjoyed committing their atrocities and aren't the least bit sorry, I feel regret on their behalf. They repulse me, and it makes me a bit sad that another human being could become so repulsive.

yeah, sympathy is not the right word - I do mean compassion and pity, not empathy or sympathy.

 

[Bushranger]

I think it is healthier to have some sympathy in the form of "There, but for god's grace, go I.", rather than the all too common "How could anyone do such a thing? They aren't human."

People should be answerable for their own actions.
The demonization of the despicable is a way of denying our own capacity for evil so that we feel better about ourselves.

 

[Xander]

I think it is healthier to have some sympathy in the form of "There, but for god's grace, go I.", rather than the all too common "How could anyone do such a thing? They aren't human."

People should be answerable for their own actions.
The demonization of the despicable is a way of denying our own capacity for evil so that we feel better about ourselves.

Could it not also be termed as it's a way of patting ourselves on the back for "doing the right thing" which would not be such a bad thing?

It's very easy to dismiss that which holds the human psyche together but it's so much more difficult to build it back up.

 

[Bushranger]

Could it not also be termed as it's a way of patting ourselves on the back for "doing the right thing" which would not be such a bad thing?

No. I was referring to demonization, which is closer to patting ourselves on the back for "being the kind of person that does the right thing", which is a step away from "people of my kind couldn't do the wrong thing".

It's very easy to dismiss that which holds the human psyche together but it's so much more difficult to build it back up.

OK, but what does that mean?

 

[Xander]

No. I was referring to demonization, which is closer to patting ourselves on the back for "being the kind of person that does the right thing", which is a step away from "people of my kind couldn't do the wrong thing".

That's simply someone slipping on the probability clause in most things. This is how we ended up thinking the world was flat. You'd be hard pushed to get away from such mistakes.

OK, but what does that mean?

It means that yes it's true but that doesn't necessarily mean it's useful. It's similar to the thinking that there's no such thing as doing something for someone else. There's no such thing as an unselfish act. It's the same kind of thinking that pulls everyone's ideas apart because there's a mistake. It's very easy to destroy/ take apart something. It is far harder, but often much more useful, to create something better.

Note:- I'm not criticising you, just pointing out that whilst you may have a point I'd say it needs to be tempered with the understanding that forward momentum should be maintained rather than bringing things to a full stop.

 

[Meursault]

I can't feel sympathy for anyone that's on TV/talked about in the media unless I know them personally or I watch them getting killed. I can only feel horrified. (Actually, I can't really feel sympathy for ANYONE unless I've talked to them before or seen them IRL.)

Sorry to disappoint.

heh, i'm the exact opposite. i can only feel sympathy and compassion for people i've never met--i have a very hard time feeling sympathy for people i actually know, but then again, most of the time people i actually know aren't clinging to palm trees as a tsunami rips their children from their arms, or having to hack their way out of their roofs with a hammer as their homes fill with water..usually they've just run out of gas or are late on a bill or something.

 

[meshou]

I think it is healthier to have some sympathy in the form of "There, but for god's grace, go I.", rather than the all too common "How could anyone do such a thing? They aren't human."

I don't know. I think I'd prefer most of the population do the latter-- the first seems to imply we have little power over whether we commit despicable acts, while the latter rejects the actions and the person who takes them as no part of them.

No, I think fundamental, society-wide rejection of the despicable is a good thing. No rest for the wicked, says I.

 

[Totenkindly]

I don't know. I think I'd prefer most of the population do the latter-- the first seems to imply we have little power over whether we commit despicable acts, while the latter rejects the actions and the person who takes them as no part of them. No, I think fundamental, society-wide rejection of the despicable is a good thing. No rest for the wicked, says I.

How could Meshou say such a thing? She isn't human!!

 

[LadyInWaiting]

I often feel empathy without feeling any compassion. Compassion for the despicable is rarer for me than empathy. I only feel both empathy and compassion when it really is "there but for the grace of God". Like Andrea Yates. Having dealt with mental illness/dealt with mentally ill people, I could both empathize based on my own experience and feel compassion. But for Saddam Hussein, I had empathy (I know what it's like to be egomaniacal and have a messed up family, etc.) but no compassion. Compassion is for those who are human.

I do believe some people are more human than others. "Human" is probably not the most precise word, but it captures what I'm saying. So for me, Andrea Yates is fully human and warrants compassion. Whereas Susan Smith was less human and did not deserve what compassion she got. I could empathize with Susan Smith, I felt what she was feeling (desperation, fear of rejection, lust, pressure). But I have no compassion for her.

As for pity, it's not something I experience very often and when I do, I dismiss it. It feels fake for me to express pity, because I don't really feel it, not deeply. If I did, I feel like I'd do something about it.