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  1. #1
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    Default INFJ's, how do you deal with these?

    Disembodiment issues: Not feeling your body and feeling like you don't exist. Do you have a high sensitivity (like me) when you get hurt, the physical (and mental) pain hurts a lot? It makes you know that you have a body haha, but once the pain goes away do you retreat back into nonexistence?

    How about for food? You can scarf and eat it all down and not feel any fullness? Especially if you indulge in your Ni for quite a bit? I can still feel full eventually, is that because my Si is a little bit higher? Do INFJ's feel like they relate a lot to Si in terms of remembering to help better yourself in the future? I try to, but then it won't come to me when it comes at the moment. How about Se, are you in any way sporty (individual-wise) or muscular (naturally, not to say you're a body builder, I also believe Carl Jung is an INTJ (not 100% sure) but he was quite built himself but for sure Ni-Se is common for INJ's)

    Feeling acute sensitivies: Do you sometimes feel that every person you meet with (especially at work) doesn't have a good feeling about you? And even if you don't care about what that other person feels, it bugs you that you could've maybe left a better impression or for that person to a greater understanding about you?

    The Mild Judging Part of You: Many INFJ's (at least I would think so) have low judging and can act like perceivers often (procrastinating, leaving options open, etc.) and then once in a while you have a quick decision made, does that throw other people off from you? You can sometimes be really relaxed and try to be comfortable, then at other parts you're like really in the need to dress to impress?

    Dealing with Stress: I often listen to music a lot (more of electronica like trance and electro-pop) and that gets with the intense side of me? I am not too big of a fan of classics, although some a good to listen to once in a while. As I grow older, I have a harder time forgiving than I was young, but it's not terribly bad and I am pickier on food, wanting higher quality on things, also my concentration has greatly increased. I always tend to scan the room, but do nothing with the possibilities out there. Do you feel like you blank out when there's too much to do, if something is of impending importance, does your teeth start to gnash and get hard on yourself for not completing what you're supposed to be doing? Classic literature is becoming a greater importance to me as I grow older too.

    [Sorry if any of these may have been covered under the topic Common INFJ problems, I don't have all the time in the world to read through them. ]

    The first two tend to bug me more, than the others. Love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

    Excuse me if the grammar isn't good.

  2. #2
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I forget about my body a lot of times unless something about it irritates me. I cannot go long without food. Even when I don't notice hunger right away I notice the other effects of not eating. If I put it off I start doing stupid stuff, like locking myself out of the house so I've learned not to put it off once I notice it. I'm sensitive to tactile stuff, like uncomfortable shoes/clothes. I'm sensitive to temperatures. I'm sensitive to loud sounds.

    I love food and though I'm not always in touch with hunger, I tend to notice when I am full and usually don't over eat much. I love good smells. I love physical comfort. I love sex.

    I am not sporty, but I love to walk. I used to walk a lot with my grandma when I was little and I loved those times.

    I try to avoid stress as much as I can. I am prone to worry. Distraction works pretty well for me a lot of the time. Spending time by myself reading, sometimes eating/drinking things I like helps me calm down. So does writing about things I'm worried about. Occasionally listening to sad music helps me feel better.

    Usually if I take care of my body, my mind mostly takes care of itself. Or that's how it seems to work right now.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  3. #3
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I forget about my body a lot of times unless something about it irritates me. I cannot go long without food. Even when I don't notice hunger right away I notice the other effects of not eating. If I put it off I start doing stupid stuff, like locking myself out of the house so I've learned not to put it off once I notice it. I'm sensitive to tactile stuff, like uncomfortable shoes/clothes. I'm sensitive to temperatures. I'm sensitive to loud sounds.

    I love food and though I'm not always in touch with hunger, I tend to notice when I am full and usually don't over eat much. I love good smells. I love physical comfort. I love sex.

    I am not sporty, but I love to walk. I used to walk a lot with my grandma when I was little and I loved those times.

    I try to avoid stress as much as I can. I am prone to worry. Distraction works pretty well for me a lot of the time. Spending time by myself reading, sometimes eating/drinking things I like helps me calm down. So does writing about things I'm worried about. Occasionally listening to sad music helps me feel better.

    Usually if I take care of my body, my mind mostly takes care of itself. Or that's how it seems to work right now.
    This. Thank you. I pretty much relate with you 100% on almost everything. My body acts really weird without food.
    Last edited by Forever; 02-24-2014 at 02:51 PM. Reason: Relate rather than agree :) edit*

  4. #4
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    Ooo this is a good thread

    Disembodiment issues: I realise when I am hungry and tired etc but I don't really give it much thought. However, I do notice the affects these things have on me...like if I don't eat I notice the change in my mood and concentration etc. I've been low lately and struggling with work and I didn't make the connection between me feeling low and having poor concentration to my lack of sleeping and eating. I also don't really notice when I'm full lol so I can overeat quite easily. I relate to @cafe with being sensitive to temperature, loud sounds etc.

    Feeling acute sensitivities: I pick up on way too much and then I over think way too much. I will pick up on the fact someone is angry for example but then overthink and assume the reason must be me.

    The mild judging part of you: In terms of just the letters p and j and what they are supposed to mean, I prefer a j approach to things but I can act like a p. I procrastinate a lot because I'm a perfectionist. I need to spend some times thinking about it before I do it, but to make up for the lack of actual productivity I start procrastinating so it's like I am doing something with my time...but not lol. I also come off like I am putting things off and that I'm indecisive. In reality I am just very hesitant. I have often made a decision but I'm hesitant on whether to act on it because I think of future implications and worry I am making the wrong choice etc.

    Dealing with stress: I try to carry on and pretend it's not bothering me. I want to prove I can handle things and I feel embarrassed when I need assistance. So I often plunge myself into work. At school when I was getting bullied my grades would be perfect because of this. So when teachers got involved they wouldn't believe it was really a problem because my grades hadn't suffered lol. And recently I've been having a really hard time at work and with some things in my personal life but I wanted to prove I was fine so I've really overworked myself and now I am flat out exhausted and feel even worse. That may be to do with me being an Enneagram 1 rather than INFJ. Inside I don't deal with stress well. I overthink and then I feel I can't talk to anyone about it even though I really need to get it all out to make sense of it and then I end up feeling lonely. Really need to find a better way to deal with these things.
    "Dad I can't feel my legs."

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly View Post
    Ooo this is a good thread

    Disembodiment issues: I realise when I am hungry and tired etc but I don't really give it much thought. However, I do notice the affects these things have on me...like if I don't eat I notice the change in my mood and concentration etc. I've been low lately and struggling with work and I didn't make the connection between me feeling low and having poor concentration to my lack of sleeping and eating. I also don't really notice when I'm full lol so I can overeat quite easily. I relate to @cafe with being sensitive to temperature, loud sounds etc.

    Feeling acute sensitivities: I pick up on way too much and then I over think way too much. I will pick up on the fact someone is angry for example but then overthink and assume the reason must be me.

    The mild judging part of you: In terms of just the letters p and j and what they are supposed to mean, I prefer a j approach to things but I can act like a p. I procrastinate a lot because I'm a perfectionist. I need to spend some times thinking about it before I do it, but to make up for the lack of actual productivity I start procrastinating so it's like I am doing something with my time...but not lol. I also come off like I am putting things off and that I'm indecisive. In reality I am just very hesitant. I have often made a decision but I'm hesitant on whether to act on it because I think of future implications and worry I am making the wrong choice etc.

    Dealing with stress: I try to carry on and pretend it's not bothering me. I want to prove I can handle things and I feel embarrassed when I need assistance. So I often plunge myself into work. At school when I was getting bullied my grades would be perfect because of this. So when teachers got involved they wouldn't believe it was really a problem because my grades hadn't suffered lol. And recently I've been having a really hard time at work and with some things in my personal life but I wanted to prove I was fine so I've really overworked myself and now I am flat out exhausted and feel even worse. That may be to do with me being an Enneagram 1 rather than INFJ. Inside I don't deal with stress well. I overthink and then I feel I can't talk to anyone about it even though I really need to get it all out to make sense of it and then I end up feeling lonely. Really need to find a better way to deal with these things.
    Thank you!

    I think I am too in a way with cafe and you on the part when I go to sleep, I am a very light sleeper, the blankets need to be right, the temperature to be balanced. (AC and warm blanket combo as dark as possible and can't sleep midday)
    Time to work out!

    Yeah, very true! But what if it is really you who caused it? :O It's unfortunate that it isn't easy to dismiss, unless you ask directly. Sometimes I just have to do that and even then they could be lying just to make you feel better.. which doesn't.

    Yes I definitely do want a life to be planned out. However, I do just like to relax and have everything unplanned once in a while.

    Tell me when you find out how to deal with stress. I sometimes tend to fall an Ne side of me, and make myself laugh out of things that "could happen" when stuff gets really boring or dull. Maybe it's a guy thing, but if I can I just "forget" about it, it sometimes works. However it tends to pop back up every once in a while if it is important. ( and )

  6. #6
    To here knows when... Odi et Amo's Avatar
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    Disembodiment issues: I meditate a lot. Frequently I'll be walking down the street or something and just feel like my eyes are there. They'll grow big. Completely dissociated. I don't eat all that much (perhaps because of all of the coffee and don't sleep very much either, although my sleeping schedule oscillates wildly, and I sleep like a rock and dream vividly. I experience similar periods of boom-bust with physical intimacy, which is a lot of Ni-Fe tug-of-war.

    Feeling acute sensitivities: This absolutely happens, and frequently is a result of Ni jumping to an unfounded conclusion or blowing something out of proportion I would think, reading between the lines too much. For me at least. For others maybe it's a hair trigger harmony-seeking Fe reaction?

    The Mild Judging Part of You: This website posits that IJs and EPs are true Jungian Perceivers as their dominant function is a Perceiving function and IPs and EJs are true Judgers since their dominant is a Judging function...which really connected with me, because I don't really fit the classic conscientious J-type. Ni is pervasive. I guess punctuality and cleanliness, and some perfectionism towards work, but other than that, in private, not really a quintessential J-type with friends and plans and that sort of thing.

    Dealing with Stress: Meditation and music. When it's immediate, in the moment stress, I just shut off. I just shut off a lot. My friends have figured out what silence means with regards to an Ni dominant. Not conscious silence, like what happens sometimes with the Fi-dom INFP in the group, but subconscious silence.
    Solitude
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  7. #7
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odi et Amo View Post
    Disembodiment issues: I meditate a lot. Frequently I'll be walking down the street or something and just feel like my eyes are there. They'll grow big. Completely dissociated. I don't eat all that much (perhaps because of all of the coffee and don't sleep very much either, although my sleeping schedule oscillates wildly, and I sleep like a rock and dream vividly. I experience similar periods of boom-bust with physical intimacy, which is a lot of Ni-Fe tug-of-war.

    Feeling acute sensitivities: This absolutely happens, and frequently is a result of Ni jumping to an unfounded conclusion or blowing something out of proportion I would think, reading between the lines too much. For me at least. For others maybe it's a hair trigger harmony-seeking Fe reaction?

    The Mild Judging Part of You: This website posits that IJs and EPs are true Jungian Perceivers as their dominant function is a Perceiving function and IPs and EJs are true Judgers since their dominant is a Judging function...which really connected with me, because I don't really fit the classic conscientious J-type. Ni is pervasive. I guess punctuality and cleanliness, and some perfectionism towards work, but other than that, in private, not really a quintessential J-type with friends and plans and that sort of thing.

    Dealing with Stress: Meditation and music. When it's immediate, in the moment stress, I just shut off. I just shut off a lot. My friends have figured out what silence means with regards to an Ni dominant. Not conscious silence, like what happens sometimes with the Fi-dom INFP in the group, but subconscious silence.
    Hmm, any tips on meditation?

    Huh.. I think it also depends on the situation. Four types tend to just dismiss/delay it if they are heading towards unhealthy.

    I read that post before. I quite agree with it. We're so perceiving in many ways. If INFJ typed people seem too judging, they should reconsider their types.

    Like blur out? or Withdrawal of openness in speech?

  8. #8
    To here knows when... Odi et Amo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    Hmm, any tips on meditation?

    Huh.. I think it also depends on the situation. Four types tend to just dismiss/delay it if they are heading towards unhealthy.

    I read that post before. I quite agree with it. We're so perceiving in many ways. If INFJ typed people seem too judging, they should reconsider their types.

    Like blur out? or Withdrawal of openness in speech?
    Meditation took forever to get the hang of. The ISFJ best friend who got me interested picked it up in maybe two weeks but it took me months of daily slog before it clicked. I can't meditate with my eyes closed, because my mind is more distracting than my room, so I just slow down my blinking and focus on relaxing my facial muscles. At night I like to meditate to the stars, especially in the summer. Music helps sometimes as well, if I'm trying to mediate on a certain emotion.

    Damn, hadn't thought of it as a Four-trait. The downward spiral...

    The shutting-off happens most frequently due to mental exhaustion/overprocessing, like there is nothing else I can handle consciously and so I shut off Fe/Ti and blur out...my friends say they notice it a lot during lulls in conversation, so when it's time to jump back in it takes me a little while. When they ask me what I'm thinking about, some of them used to be frustrated to hear "nothing much..." or something like that, because they felt I was reserving judgment or hiding something. This issue was never a problem with the ISTP or the INFP among my friends and has become better with time with others. It drives my ESTJ mother batshit, though.
    Solitude
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    ― Albert Camus

    4w5/5w4/1w2, Neutral Good, RlxAI

  9. #9
    Musician Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odi et Amo View Post
    Meditation took forever to get the hang of. The ISFJ best friend who got me interested picked it up in maybe two weeks but it took me months of daily slog before it clicked. I can't meditate with my eyes closed, because my mind is more distracting than my room, so I just slow down my blinking and focus on relaxing my facial muscles. At night I like to meditate to the stars, especially in the summer. Music helps sometimes as well, if I'm trying to mediate on a certain emotion.

    Damn, hadn't thought of it as a Four-trait. The downward spiral...

    The shutting-off happens most frequently due to mental exhaustion/overprocessing, like there is nothing else I can handle consciously and so I shut off Fe/Ti and blur out...my friends say they notice it a lot during lulls in conversation, so when it's time to jump back in it takes me a little while. When they ask me what I'm thinking about, some of them used to be frustrated to hear "nothing much..." or something like that, because they felt I was reserving judgment or hiding something. This issue was never a problem with the ISTP or the INFP among my friends and has become better with time with others. It drives my ESTJ mother batshit, though.
    Haha I wonder if you referenced me in there. ;D I agree, the inner life is full of distractions.

    Haha, my ISFJ mom is like "okay." Unless I start showing emotion haha. Thanks for clarifying.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Doomkid's Avatar
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    I have experienced full detachment sometimes when I was a kid, but I didn't like it, it was too strong like I couldn't control my body for a few seconds. I was also very VERY easily distracted when I was a kid

    INFJ can sometimes think they're INFP because they're perceiving most of the time. But then comes those times where you wanna accomplish something so bad that you become a control freak for a short time...and then you're back to perceiving right? well at least it's like that for me

    I also experience compulsiveness when extraverted sensing is denied for too long, I also think a million things and it take sometime to realize I'm being compulsive...Do you realate to any of this?

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