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  1. #191
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    I hear it's a curse non tiertary Fe user are afflicted with.
    I personally repeat 'there's no reason to be sorry' (when there isn't ) hoping it'll sink in. Well that's not exactly why I do it but it wouldn't be as much fun if I told you guys everything about my cunning ways
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
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    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  2. #192
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Why?

    For one example, sometimes I email and I have a bad feeling. Awkwardness...I want to fix it. So I send an email to fix that one.

    Then I have awkwardness...a bad feeling...because of my apology or further communication, so I send a third one to fix the second one.

    This has continued ten layers deep.

    ...I'm better now.

    I started sending notes in the second grade, over 30 years ago.

    Now I realize that it's not always good to give these notes to express your feelings or apologize to people.

    One time in college, I gave someone a note to apologize for something in chemistry class. Then a group of people called me like at 1:00 AM, very drunk and giggly. They all thought my note was hilarious.

  3. #193
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    I only apologize when something is my fault, or if I feel truly horrible. Like.. If I accidentally SOMEHOW punch a friend in the face.. I'd probably apologize a lot. Haha.
    However.. When someone is in pain/something is wrong, I tend to apologize too.. Because, I feel bad.
    Friend - "I have a horrible headache."
    Me - "Aw, I'm sorry."

    It's just because we care, and in a way.. We really are sorry. Not always because the blame is on us, or we've done something wrong.. But because we feel for you. We're sorry you're in a bad spot.

    And if we have done something wrong, of course we're going to apologize like crazy. We feel even worse!

  4. #194
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    because i farted. and i can empathize with your discomfort because i'm familiar with the smell.
    a cat is fine too

  5. #195
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    I can see why they do it. When you stand up for yourself, especially if people don't expect you to, they'll swiftly and violently try to cut you down to a shell of a person until you're so lacking in self-esteem that you believe your rights and thoughts to be inferior to everyone else's. It's what happens when people react emotionally rather than respond to the facts presented in the assertion. Many people see it as a "sign of disrespect" that you DARE voice a concern or disagreement, no matter how impersonal the issue is.

    No matter how impersonal and factual, assertiveness is NOT well-received. People will just try to wear you down.

    (I'm pretty drrrrunk right now, so excuse my Fi for coming out like that)
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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  6. #196
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    I can see why they do it. When you stand up for yourself, especially if people don't expect you to, they'll swiftly and violently try to cut you down to a shell of a person until you're so lacking in self-esteem that you believe your rights and thoughts to be inferior to everyone else's. It's what happens when people react emotionally rather than respond to the facts presented in the assertion. Many people see it as a "sign of disrespect" that you DARE voice a concern or disagreement, no matter how impersonal the issue is.

    No matter how impersonal and factual, assertiveness is NOT well-received. People will just try to wear you down.
    No, I would say this is reasonable, rather than drunken rambling. This is why it's important to assert yourself early and often, I suppose. And just get good at doing it in a way you're comfortable with. I find that I have a lot of pushback (as mrcockburn describes) whenever I try to assert myself, because I've usually been angry for a very long time before I say anything. It's typically diplomatic, but still. Maybe this is why the INFJ doorslam is something common enough to get its own phrase describing it!

  7. #197
    Senor Membrane
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    There are only a handful of people that have ever heard me apologize in real life. I don't know if I apologize any more online, but if I do, it is because I am more prone to misinterpret things here due to the lack of nonverbal communication.

  8. #198
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    NFs are fine just the way they are. They're not NTs, there's no reason they need to be NTs. I think in many cases, they just really don't care to argue. When I argue with NFs, I often feel like I'm being cruel by "pushing my values on them." I'd rather not be cruel. There are plenty of NTs to argue with without getting the NFs involved.
    You lose.

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  9. #199
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    I'm not normally mean or bitchy but I have my moments. I always feel bad after saying whatever I said so I feel the need to say sorry. I want to get along with most people . If someone was rude to me I would want them to apologize too! Otherwise I might have that screw that bitch or asshole mentality in the back of my mind towards them.

  10. #200
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Because hqrmony in relationships to NFs is like order to SJs

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