User Tag List

First 41213141516 Last

Results 131 to 140 of 229

  1. #131
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    The resurrect of an old thread of mine is ironic: I just made a new INFP friend in December, and we're very close now, and it's a running joke between us how she is constantly saying, "Oh, I'm sorry," and otherwise apologizing in case she has said something offensive or hurtful.

    I don't bring it up much now because I don't want her to be self-conscious, but it's definitely "Total Apology Island" on all channels, all the time.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #132
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    LIL
    Posts
    13

    Default

    I guess i project my own feelings onto someone else and say i'm sorry. I have this idea that someone else is hurt or offended, but in all rationality you can never think someone elses thoughts. It can be very ocd sometimes.

  3. #133
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    8,674

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    The resurrect of an old thread of mine is ironic: I just made a new INFP friend in December, and we're very close now, and it's a running joke between us how she is constantly saying, "Oh, I'm sorry," and otherwise apologizing in case she has said something offensive or hurtful.

    I don't bring it up much now because I don't want her to be self-conscious, but it's definitely "Total Apology Island" on all channels, all the time.
    Well,
    1.there is alot of new people
    2.thread was inactive for some time.
    3.I see the behaviour around the forum

  4. #134
    Member Antreus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4/2
    Socionics
    INFx
    Posts
    36

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Sigh. The one thing I see in common in literally every NF I talk to online or in real life is that, as soon as they come out with a strong reaction to something, as soon as I push back on it (in a nice but firm way), they back-pedal and just seem to fold on me.

    (I think Toonie is the only NF I can think of off the top of my head who does not consistently do this... but she always had to be different, you know. )

    Sometimes NFs apologize to me just for expressing their viewpoint. My one RL friend apologizes to me for "getting angry" or "raising his voice" -- and somehow I missed his entire debacle. Even his worst outrages don't even equal half of the normal human being's slight glimmer of irritation.

    I love y'all to death, NFs are some of my favorite people! Definitely more sufferable than some of the NTJ stuff that goes on.

    But I don't understand. Why? I mean, I even love how sensitive NFs are to people in general... but sometimes it gets frustrating, when I want to talk about something or a discussion really needs to be had, or would be beneficial, so I "push" a little bit or just plunge into the conversation -- and instead of matching the push, the NFs just melt away.

    Just... Oh, I don't know.
    Here is how I feel about this. I usually try to establish rapport between people, usually this involves me putting myself out there, thus as a given sometimes I can be emotionally sensitive to things I say if they are not accepted.

    Ways I do this are not limited but include: asking for help when none is needed, or asking questions that I already know the answer to.

    Usually what I say and what I already know are completely different and sometimes I feel at odd misrepresenting myself.

    I think when you hear someone apologizing I guess they are and can be in a way of establishing a rapport with you regardless if it demeans them because they value you as a person ( maybe, maybe not, depending ) In a way you can see it as humility. I think it is easy to misinterpret people sometimes. Don't know what else to say on that.

    Depending if it is an abusive relationship or not or their experiences with being hurt this can be somewhat of a defensive-survival mechanic to establish equal footing for fear of being misunderstood or intentions unclear. I sometimes say the opposite of what I mean to say because again I am at odds with what I know and what I say I know.

    I don't really apologize for what I say. People can see me as a bit waif, hypocritical at times because I say one thing and think another and it can confuse people. Sometimes I act dumb on purpose without realizing it and the perception is people don't take me as seriously as I would like as a result based on previous experiences with what I have said. I always try to integrate everything and find resolve in better understanding.
    His form has passed away, he has become a mirror: naught is there but the image of another's face.

    ( I ) 3%, ( N ) 59%, ( F ) 26%, ( J ) 16%

  5. #135
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,781

    Default

    does it count if you say, "sorry" out of habit like in replace of "excuse me" ? but you don't actually mean it, just like "sorry, i wasn't listening" [but what you were saying was very boring] or "sorry" [that you were on your phone not paying attention and almost plowed me down] or like "sorry" [I have nothing else to respond so I'm just going to say sorry, even though I don't care but I'm pretending to]. But its not because I'm afraid that i've said something hurtful, unless I get a visceral reaction from someone and can see that what I've said has geniuenly hurted them.

    ps I have not read all 12 pages too many to many
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #136
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    ...
    So, the word "sorry" to an INFP is like the word "smurf" to Smurfs. Got it.

  7. #137
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w3
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,037

    Default

    So, the word "sorry" to an INFP is like the word "smurf" to Smurfs. Got it.
    Haha, basically! That's the word I say the most every day. If I bump into someone, if I accidentally offend them, if I let them down, etc... Maybe I'm alone in this, but my conscience is merciless. If I'm mad at someone and I let it all out, immediately I regret it and apologize like a madwoman (or go home, toss and turn at night unable to sleep, and secretly do nice things for said person to make-up for it).

    Guilt and embarrassment are the worst feelings for me, and guilt is worse, because it's my fault! I love people to little tiny bits, and I hate when I do things that are hateful instead of kind. There's enough hate going around, y'know? (Though don't misunderstand--we INFPs can hold grudges if they feel they're vindicated. If we've been severely provoked, then it's far less likely we'll be tossing and turning at night!)

    So, in conclusion, yes, I'm an apology smurf.

  8. #138
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    2,425

    Default

    I apologize for everything.

  9. #139
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Socionics
    INFp
    Posts
    3,403

    Default

    Probably to cover my bases just in case anything I've said is taken the wrong way and definitely is a form of apology for action or thereof lack of action. It is I think our insecurity that gets us self conscious after the fact when in fact its unnecessary. I use the term less often these days and notes the times I do and analyze why should I be sorry for something when I've done nothing to be sorry about.

  10. #140
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Then again if we don't cave, we're called polarizers. Which just proves that people are never happy.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 26
    Last Post: 08-24-2015, 04:22 PM
  2. [NT] Why do nts project so much?
    By prplchknz in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-28-2014, 07:55 AM
  3. Why do credentials have so much emphasis?
    By Synapse in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 12-09-2010, 03:33 AM
  4. [JCF] why do infjs care so much about people/relationships/interactions
    By peppermint13 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 08-16-2008, 06:47 AM
  5. How Do You Post So Much?
    By Crabapple in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 05-17-2007, 03:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO