User Tag List

First 123

Results 21 to 27 of 27

  1. #21
    Member March's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    54

    Default

    I think I can feel a little 'stuck' in Fe. Here I am, floating around in my Ni landscape and seeing things from these different perspectives and zooming in and out and finding interesting similarities all around, and there will be these insistent pings from Fe to let me know I have things to do in the outer world. Like an alarm clock waking me from a dream.

    When I'm somewhere other people are around, Fe is constantly keeping me out of my inner world and pulling me outside with its 'people are feeling things around here! get to it!' to do things/manage things/help people accomplish things, what have you.

    I don't mind - that's what it's FOR, after all, and it's fun and beneficial too - but if I let it go on too long I can get all frazzled and worn out because the constant focus on other people erodes my sense of the Ni landscape and momentum.

    I'm never stuck on 'external values,' but I AM stuck on 'since I'm here I have to contribute and be useful, and what that ends up looking like is flexible and informed by the kind of culture these people have built.' And I don't think I could root out that impulse to be useful and to see what needs doing, if only because WANTING to do so feels icky to me. I think being helpful and socially adept is one of my good characteristics. (And I also feel the nihilism of Ni-Ti loops that pervaded my childhood and early twenties calling to me again, and I can only say DO NOT WANT. Fe is protective against that.)

    But Fe's persistent pinging is why I need alone time. To limit both my exposure to other people (like in crowds/supermarkets) and to groups where I feel strongly called to be contribute. I can easily overextend myself if I pledge to all the groups that need a pair of hands and a strong back, which means I'd drop all the balls I said I'd keep in the air, and that's not fair to anyone. So I choose my loyalties carefully, make sure I have plenty of social interactions where deep loyalty isn't asked of me, and make sure I have time to myself as well.

    And I need alone time that's actually ALONE. My ISTJ husband likes the kind of 'alone time' where he's on the couch watching TV and I'm right next to him typing away on my laptop, but that situation still means that around 50% of my mental energy is taken up by Fe, monitoring what's going on with him and between us. I like it when there's nobody around and even the cats are asleep.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I loved cognitive therapy and found it extremely helpful. I've found I can change my feelings by altering my thoughts. I get very pissed and suspicious when someone attempts to bypass my mind to get at my emotions. It feels like dirty pool.
    Right! And for me the opposite -- telling me to tell a different story to myself than the story my feelings tell me is, in my book, called LYING. Thus, it's a prescription for insanity.

  3. #23
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Right! And for me the opposite -- telling me to tell a different story to myself than the story my feelings tell me is, in my book, called LYING. Thus, it's a prescription for insanity.
    It seems like it would make more sense for all Feelers to be the same way about things as that. I can only think that maybe having Ni as a dom function makes me distrustful of my perceptions and desire 'objective' analysis. I mean, I don't really believe objective is a thing, but I think looking at something from as many perspectives as possible allows me to somehow triangulate 'reality.' And then, once I've got that, I feel like my feelings about whatever it is will be accurate and more trustworthy as data.

    Jesus, that is a convoluted way to do things! But that seems to be the way I'm wired.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #24
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    I reality check, too, but I have to feel it completely resonate before I'll accept a different point of view. If it makes sense but I can't feel it, I'll keep it on file but I won't act on it.

  5. #25
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I reality check, too, but I have to feel it completely resonate before I'll accept a different point of view. If it makes sense but I can't feel it, I'll keep it on file but I won't act on it.
    That makes sense. I think I have to have both as well. So it would seem that we'd end up at the same place, but we'd take different paths to get there. Very cool.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #26
    I want my account deleted
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    401

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    So it would seem that we'd end up at the same place, but we'd take different paths to get there. Very cool.
    I love this dialogue! And that pattern (ending up at the same place but taking different paths to get there) seems so often the case with our two types.

  7. #27
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Werebudgie View Post
    I love this dialogue! And that pattern (ending up at the same place but taking different paths to get there) seems so often the case with our two types.
    Our INFs here are nearly all amazing and wonderful, IMO.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJs and Obsessions with Fictional Characters
    By Ribonuke in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 07-22-2015, 12:15 AM
  2. [INFJ] INFJ and Fi, do you relate to this?
    By infiniterandomness11 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-08-2014, 09:01 PM
  3. [JCF] The difference between Fe of INFJ and Fi in general?
    By gandalf in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 11-16-2011, 08:20 AM
  4. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 12-20-2010, 09:28 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO