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  1. #111
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    I've asked the question.

    I personally think its at the core of a lot of my 'romantic' problems. I never sense I'm truly appreciated by the woman.....

    ....sure, she likes the stuff I can do/give her....but there is never this sense she feels grateful to be a part of my life.

    Weird.....I know.
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  2. #112
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Do you ever occasionally consider invading a smallish commonwealth?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #113
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Do you ever occasionally consider invading a smallish commonwealth?
    LOL....no, I haven't considered that yet....however, I open to new ideas.

    Got any smallish communities I should target?
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Do you ever occasionally consider invading a smallish commonwealth?
    The Great Commonwealth of Virginia will not stand for these threats!

  5. #115
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    LOL....no, I haven't considered that yet....however, I open to new ideas.

    Got any smallish communities I should target?
    Virginia. They're weaklings!

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    The Great Commonwealth of Virginia will not stand for these threats!
    Silence, weakling!


    My INFJ father looks at me like I'm him only waaaaay more uncontrollable or intense. I think he fears for me sometimes. I stand somewhere between him and my ENTJ uncle. I have Dad's personality but Uncle's mercurial nature.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #116
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Virginia. They're weaklings!



    Silence, weakling!


    My INFJ father looks at me like I'm him only waaaaay more uncontrollable or intense. I think he fears for me sometimes. I stand somewhere between him and my ENTJ uncle. I have Dad's personality but Uncle's mercurial nature.
    LOL...thats funny.....I will be there on business the week of Sept. 8
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  7. #117
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    LOL...thats funny.....I will be there on business the week of Sept. 8
    Perfect time to start plotting on them. Seeing as you're new to this, I'll be sure to send all the materials and forms you need to properly invade Virginia.

    Be prepared for a lot of pleading and unmanly displays of crying. MacGuffin is a messy crier. Even messier than Sally Fields.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #118
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    Has anyone asked why they seem so hard to find?

    And if they're just not about. Why?
    I think I may have said this before, but I'm not sure.

    I'm beginning to distinguish between the different types of Fe and the various ways Fe can manifest itself. I know most people conceive of Fe as being manners, etiquette, and nurturing behavior but I've met and work with a sizable portion of EFJs (mostly ESFJs) that this doesn't seem to manifest itself in a typical way. I'm using ESFJs as a contrast because they're also Fe dominate and I find it's easier to describe with ESFJs because they're more abundant and it may be easier to spot. I'm not sure if this is an ESFJ thing or an ENFJ thing.

    I'd love to hear ENFJs and ESFJs describe how they experience Fe, but sometimes I find Fe to be like water. Ubiquitous and tasteless in the sense of lacking the physical sense of taste, odor, or smell. It's like a base, you can add flavor to it and it can become any type of drink you want it to be. Fe is very absorbent and reflective and takes on the qualities of it's environment. So I have quite a few ESFJs at my job who's Fe looks colorless. I can only base this on their workplace behavior but I try to take situations where we're relaxed as more of a basis for this.

    With a couple of them I think I've figured out their type because I do see the need to connect with others, the emotional expressiveness, and natural calibration with their environment. They seem very current and trendy, almost SP-like, and their Si mostly comes through as factual knowledge retention and reminiscing but not necessarily traditional, kinda like pure_mercury. I think age also has a lot to do with it, because most of them are between 25 and 33 so maybe more stereotypical Fe characteristics will show up later in life. Also, I'm in the DC area and many people around here tend to be more educated so stereotypical Si traits may not be as obvious.

    These Fe dominants are harder to identify because they're not baking cookies and changing diapers, tend to be more sarcastic and wry than motherly/fatherly, not really fluffy, but they're very social and seem to pick up social cues quickly. And when I think about it further, you really can't have social harmony without some ability to be mutable. I'm not saying this is a go with the flow attitude, because that's more of an FP thing than FJ, just more of an ability to sublimate yourself.

    Contrast this with IFPs (or FPs in general) who have a tendency to be more constantly "themselves" through situations and different groups vs. EFJs (or FJs in general) who tend to change from group to group or situation. This sometimes gets EFJs called two-faced and fake when I think it's just Fe incorporating that particular group's values or behaviors and displaying to harmonize. I also think this is what gives TPs their charming abilities (if they choose to develop them). I don't want this to sound like mindless conformity because it's not. It's so easy to pin that label on Fe.

    I say all this because I'm just trying to isolate some components of Fe that I see rarely discussed in type descriptions. Mainly, I think could be a reason why it's so hard to identify ENFJs because you have this natural Fe reflectiveness and that's got Ni behind it and not all manifestations Ni are eccentric and bizarre. I don't know any ENFJs besides the ones on the forum and we're all very different people. The best example I can give is if you read how Lookin4 describes how she navigates her workplace through a mixture of drive, enthusiasm, charm, perceptiveness, and strategy. And it's easier to find examples of manipulative ENFJs than others.

    Here's another character I think is ENFJ (but she's kinda bad ). Nicole Kidman's character, Suzanne in To Die For.
    Television brings out the best in peopleor at least that's what Suzanne Stone believes. Like some High Priestess of the Holy Mother Tube, her faith in the sanctifying power of the video camera is absolute and unshakable. If only more people were on TV, she says, then there would be more good in the world. "Because, after all, what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if no one's watching?"

    The heroine of Gus Van Sant's deadly funny media satire "To Die For," Suzanne is kind of like a cross between Diane Sawyer and Rupert Pupkin, Robert De Niro's celebrity-obsessed psychopath in Martin Scorsese's "King of Comedy." Suzanne (Nicole Kidman) isn't just evil with a human face she's evil with a stunning face and body. That she will inevitably cash in on her assets and rise to electronic superstardom isn't an issue; it's just a question of when. And how.
    And here's another ENFJ (???) Emily Mortimer's character, Karen in Lars and the Real Girl (I think Dagmar is an INFJ)
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #119
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    Great description, proteanmix. Easy to understand, too.

    I always get an air of resourcefulness about ENFJs. But they have intuition to know they need to use their Fe (social/interpersonal skills) to their advantage. I can see why they would complement INxPs.

    It almost seems a type born from necessity, or strength through adversity.

    --

    What about Scarlett O'Hara from Gone with the Wind, then? Arguably non too complementary a suggestion, admittedly. But she's an extrovert, her head's always in the future, and she's very resourceful. Fe, I don't know. She's pretty besotted throughout the film and uses etiquette to her full advantage. S or N is debatable. I think she seems S in her immaturity, but the N is discovered when her environment calls for it.

    Sorry if she's already been suggested.
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    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  10. #120
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    I always saw O'Hara as ESTP, employing Fe for T type goals like a tool. I could be totally off-base. She's way less N than Melanie.

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