User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 61

  1. #1
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default ENFP's: Good or Bad Listeners?

    So, to any ENFPs out there, which do you think you are?


    And, for all of you that know or have known any ENFPs, have they been, or are they generally good or bad listeners.


    I know that we are extroverted, and like to talk and all that jazz, but I've been, what I would confidently classify as an "excellent active listener", my whole life.

    I enjoy getting to know people, and as such, have reveled in finding out about other people's most inner lives and selves by and through hearing about their pasts, their thoughts, their feelings, their theories...

    Love to *hear* your thoughts on this too!

    Last edited by SillySapienne; 07-27-2008 at 06:39 PM.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #2
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Posts
    1,709

    Default

    someone on my friendster wrote me this testimonial years ago...

    " He usually has a hazy far away look in his eyes, but when he listens, he really understands what you are saying... like he totally gets you "

    lol

  3. #3
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    I'm baaaad listener. Very bad.
    It's because I have so many thoughts that I have to share to people that I almost don't have time to listen.

    I have learned to be a bit better listener during past few years because I have learned to focus my attention to the person talking to me, not to my own thoughts. The same time that I listen, the same time I'm trying to figure out the other person. Multitasking is something that I really need to do most of time, so I do that while listening to a other person. That is how I can concentrate because I have pretty poor concentration skills unless I'm very interested about something. And people are mostly very interesting as "study subjects" and their thoughts are also mostly interesting (when they talk about people issues, lol).
    Last edited by alcea rosea; 07-16-2008 at 05:33 AM. Reason: typos again lol

  4. #4
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Lovely as ENFPs are to talk to, I'd have to say they're bad listeners. They become distracted too easily, they can be judgemental if it cuts close to their values and they almost always advise you to do something because that's what they would do and not necessarily because it will suit you or the nuances you are trying to address.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  5. #5
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Lovely as ENFPs are to talk to, I'd have to say they're bad listeners. They become distracted too easily, they can be judgemental if it cuts close to their values and they almost always advise you to do something because that's what they would do and not necessarily because it will suit you or the nuances you are trying to address.
    Very good post. I think the distractions is the other thing that makes me a bad listener in addition to my own thoughts that keep running around like wild horses.

  6. #6
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Posts
    1,709

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    they almost always advise you to do something because that's what they would do and not necessarily because it will suit you or the nuances you are trying to address.
    dood. that is so true! (for me)

  7. #7
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Perhaps I am an atypical ENFP.



    Nobody that I know would describe me as a bad listener, however, my best friend and ex, (the two people who know me the best) would definitely say, that when I am arguing, I become temporarily deaf, lol, well that's because they become temporarily deaf too so i have to resort to repeating myself.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #8
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Perhaps I am an atypical ENFP.



    Nobody that I know would describe me as a bad listener, however, my best friend and ex, (the two people who know me the best) would definitely say, that when I am arguing, I become temporarily deaf, lol, well that's because they become temporarily deaf too so i have to resort to repeating myself.
    If you are not as strong extrovert as I am then you might be much better listener! I think really strong extroverts are usually very bad listeners...?

  9. #9
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    and they almost always advise you to do something because that's what they would do
    I am guilty of this, but if you come to me with a problem, and I confidently know what the best working solution would be, you bet your ass that I am going to share that with you, isn't that why we talk to each other in the first place? To help each other out.

    My ex learned to just tell me, flat out, "I don't want any of your input, just let me fling my poop for fifteen minutes".

    It's hard for me to listen to someone I care about do or think something that is detrimental.

    Gah, yeah, it is difficult for me to be a *passive* listener.

    Interesting stuff....

    *ponders*
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  10. #10
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    If you are not as strong extrovert as I am then you might be much better listener! I think really strong extroverts are usually very bad listeners...?
    Hmm, I would say that I am pretty extroverted, and highly excitable though not necessarily easily distractable, lol. If I find someone or something boring, I'll just peace out, either physically or mentally, rather than feigning or attempting to engage them/it.

    I know when I am listening and when I am not, sometimes someone will say something that will make me think of something else for too long and too intently that I will get temporarily lost and have to stop the conversation and "let" myself back in, but usually when someone is talking to me, I am actively imagining/putting together everything they're saying. I dunno, it's as if their words come alive or something.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

Similar Threads

  1. IxTP, very close S and N preferences. Good or Bad?
    By Trevo4311 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-07-2011, 01:10 AM
  2. Multiculturalism : Good or Bad ?
    By redScorpion in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 105
    Last Post: 02-13-2011, 10:05 PM
  3. Quantitative Easing : Good or Bad idea?
    By William K in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-22-2010, 07:03 PM
  4. Talking "blind" - good or bad?
    By fidelia in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-09-2009, 11:09 AM
  5. Overall, are drugs good, or bad, for people?
    By Brendan in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 07-15-2009, 03:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO