User Tag List

First 34567 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 61

  1. #41
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    3,198

    Default

    I've known 2 ENFP friends over the years. One is an excellent listener generally while the other was absolutely terrible (I hope for her sake it is a "was" and not an "is", but I couldn't say anymore.).
    Both the best and the worst.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  2. #42
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    408

    Default

    I haven't experienced ENFPs as good listeners. Maybe it's just the ones I know in real life, or maybe it's my fault for not communicating well with them, but I've learned not to choose an ENFP when I need someone to hear and understand.

    They seem to be very eager to relate and to share, to experience the feeling of closeness that comes when connecting with another person. Unfortunately, I've often felt that their main goal was the feeling of being connected--rather than a deep understanding of me. The ENFPs I know are often prematurely quick to assure me that they understand what I'm trying to say. But when they try to paraphrase it or reflect back what they think I've said, they don't seem to have understood at all. I've never had one listen quietly and ask relevant, probing questions to help me find the heart of the matter. My feeling is that as soon as they think they have the gist of my idea, they want to move on. They seem to have a hard time focusing intently one topic long enough think it through carefully and process all possible ins and outs.

    An Example:
    There was one ENFP with whom I thought I was building a strong friendship. I told her about a certain failed relationship which was weighing heavily on me at the time. She did listen quietly, but she didn't ask any questions or interact much at all. At the end, she told me it looked like I was "hiding out up there in the woods because I was afraid of a relationship." What a shallow, obvious, unhelpful reply! As though I hadn't thought of that before! As though I cared what it "looked like"! As though retreating in order to repair yourself is a bad thing! I suppose she thought I should just "get over it" and "move on". I was so discouraged; I'd rehashed all those obvious points to myself until they were worn-out and useless. I felt like I'd totally wasted my time explaining things to her, and opened up myself to fruitless rebuke, as well.

    She isn't a bad lady. She's very kind & loving, extremely generous, selfless--an all-around saint. And many people evidently do think she's a good listener because there's generally someone going to her to spill their troubles. But this and several other similar situations convinced me to look elsewhere when I need an empathic ear.

  3. #43
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,351

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    So, to any ENFPs out there, which do you think you are?


    And, for all of you that know or have known any ENFPs, have they been, or are they generally good or bad listeners.


    I know that we are extroverted, and like to talk and all that jazz, but I've been, what I would confidently classify as an "excellent active listener", my whole life.

    I enjoy getting to know people, and as such, have reveled in finding out about other people's most inner lives and selves by and through hearing about their pasts, their thoughts, their feelings, their theories...

    Love to *hear* your thoughts on this too!

    I know 2 ENFP males.
    I think they're both good listeners... just as good a listener as anyone else.
    They don't talk too much. They allow others to talk.

  4. #44
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    1,387

    Default

    i would say listening is one of my best traits
    there is nothing im better at then one on one interaction
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

    Enneagram: 9w1

  5. #45
    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    eNTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Socionics
    LIE
    Posts
    219

    Default

    A healthy ENFP who has a well developed sense of how to appreciate people without unintentionally seeming selfish and without any insecurity complexes is definitely a fantastic listener. I love all the ENFPs in my life. They're awesome and hilarious.

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


    psychic changes are born in your heart, entertain.

    Blog

  6. #46
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Well, my sister is a good listener. However, I have this one teacher that's incredibly nice but whenever you ask him a question. he seems to miss the point of what you are trying to ask. It's probably because he has so many ideas floating around in his head that he doesn't know which way to approach the answer. Ne?

  7. #47
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    27

    Default

    I am my best at listening when it's fresh material (or at least old material with a fresh spin to it). So if I'm talking to someone new, hearing about a new story, a new concept, I'm all ears. And I'll usually have all sorts of probing questions because I'm fascinated.

    I'd say there is a direct correlation between the quality of my listening skills and the number of times you have repeated the same story.

    The first time you tell me about how your jerk of a boyfriend doesn't listen to you, I'll listen and ask more questions.

    The third time, I'll probably suggest that you talk to your boyfriend because it's obviously bothering you.

    The 6th time, I'll tell you that this probably isn't the one for you.

    The tenth time, my eyes are glazing over and I'm daydreaming about your boyfriend accidently driving off a cliff and how that would give you something new to talk about.

    It's annoying that because I am such a good listener the first time, people assume that I'll be the same way after episode number 10... and end up quite shocked or upset when they discover I only really cared the first couple of times.

  8. #48
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    965

    Default

    if you're entertaining, i'm a great listener with lots of input

    if you're boring, i'm zoning out while listening to keywords, and when i feel like it i'll listen for a few seconds to make a slight elaboration to fool you into thinking i'm being a great listener.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

  9. #49
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Chase View Post
    I am my best at listening when it's fresh material (or at least old material with a fresh spin to it). So if I'm talking to someone new, hearing about a new story, a new concept, I'm all ears. And I'll usually have all sorts of probing questions because I'm fascinated.

    I'd say there is a direct correlation between the quality of my listening skills and the number of times you have repeated the same story.

    The first time you tell me about how your jerk of a boyfriend doesn't listen to you, I'll listen and ask more questions.

    The third time, I'll probably suggest that you talk to your boyfriend because it's obviously bothering you.

    The 6th time, I'll tell you that this probably isn't the one for you.

    The tenth time, my eyes are glazing over and I'm daydreaming about your boyfriend accidently driving off a cliff and how that would give you something new to talk about.

    It's annoying that because I am such a good listener the first time, people assume that I'll be the same way after episode number 10... and end up quite shocked or upset when they discover I only really cared the first couple of times.
    exactly!! haha and much clearer then the way i said it
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #50
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EvanTheClown View Post
    if you're entertaining, i'm a great listener with lots of input

    if you're boring, i'm zoning out while listening to keywords, and when i feel like it i'll listen for a few seconds to make a slight elaboration to fool you into thinking i'm being a great listener.
    yes!! haha exactly if your enfp isn't listening...maybe your story sucks...haha...i'm j/k
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

Similar Threads

  1. IxTP, very close S and N preferences. Good or Bad?
    By Trevo4311 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-07-2011, 01:10 AM
  2. Multiculturalism : Good or Bad ?
    By redScorpion in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 105
    Last Post: 02-13-2011, 10:05 PM
  3. Quantitative Easing : Good or Bad idea?
    By William K in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-22-2010, 07:03 PM
  4. Talking "blind" - good or bad?
    By fidelia in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-09-2009, 11:09 AM
  5. Overall, are drugs good, or bad, for people?
    By Brendan in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 07-15-2009, 03:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO