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  1. #21
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Actually, I second Captain's self-assessment. When it comes to people with problems or when I'm engaged and enjoying getting to know someone I'm an excellent listener and even counselor type listener. I enjoy listening to people and connecting with them.

    When it comes to people venting, upset, or sharing problems or drama -- I withold judgement and am very politic and careful to tailor my advice to make it accessible and appealing to the person receiving it. I don't lie, I just word it in a way that isn't as painful for them to hear, b/c otherwise, what's the point of giving advice that nobody takes? I generally interject empathizers or ask questions but keep it to a minimum until they're done.

    I've been like this since mid-adolescence and I was a peer counselor in highschool. I also wanted very badly to be a psychologist when I was younger so I think that may shed some light on why this ENFP can listen like an...INFX? LOL

    Listening is a wonderful way to connect with someone deeply and really show them that you care and are trustworthy. I think when I was younger I discovered that and that's why I put energy into being a good listener. I was sooooo flippin' frenetic and off the wall and considered VERY eccentric and odd by my peers, so I had to make a more concerted effort to listen and get down to a human/accessible level in other peoples' eyes.

    Also, I think this is reflective of type, but I craved intimacy and value that kind of closeness still and deep listening is a great avenue to it!

    Uh-oh...I just took some cough medicine and it's hitting me. I lost my train of thought, I'll continue this later...if I remember.

    I will say though that in everday conversations, you couldn't tell if I were any better or worse than the next person as a listener. I'm VERY VERY chatty, and people think you can only be a good lisener or talk a lot. I disagree and I take exception to that.

    Just because you're quiet doesn't mean you're paying attention to other people who are speaking (INTPs, this mean you! LOL) and just because I talk a lot doesn't mean all my neurons are reserved for 'speaking only/no listening'.

    Can't I be multi-talented??? Can't I???
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  2. #22
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IEE623 View Post
    I think I'm a good listener as well, but mostly based on those factors Little Linguist mentioned above. I also can elaborate almost any conversation about anything. However, I do have a problem talking about myself *_* Does any ENFP have the same problem?

    .
    Well, I can talk about myself if I think it is applicable or helpful, otherwise: Shhhhhh!

    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    i am a good listener. i love helping people with their problems. it makes me warm and fuzzy when people confide in me...
    however...due to how silly and unfocused i can be in daily life, people rarely consider me as someone they would confide in ...




    my quiet, caring and serious side, is rarely shared to the outside world... im either silent with 0 emotion showing, or im bouncing off the walls....
    YEAH!!!!!!!!! Is anyone else like this!!!??? This is totally me!

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    I didn't read any responses, but...
    I'm fantastic if I care. Otherwise, it won't matter how many times you tell me, I will reject it. That also means I won't ask you about it, so at least you don't have to repeat yourself.
    HAHAHA Good point.
    Last edited by MacGuffin; 07-22-2008 at 06:43 PM. Reason: merged posts
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  3. #23
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    It's like a torrential downpour of pooh bear posts!
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  4. #24
    Junior Member maxk299's Avatar
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    Judging by the number of quotes from other peoples posts in these responses, I would say yes. I think we're great listeners however there are two traps I sometimes fall into. First,
    I can push people (in trying to understand it/empathize)too far or make something a bigger deal then it is leading to painful rumination rather then cathartic release. The other danger for ENFPs is interrupting or offering advice to someone who isn't done telling there story. These both seem to result from the intense burning interest we have in people, how they work ,and in trying to make them happy. I think CzeCze got a lot of the positive aspects ENFP listening down in her post.
    Oerkiltron says:
    What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day.

  5. #25
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    I have to close friends that test as ENFP. They both are good listeners to an extent. They get bored after labout 5 to 10 minutes though.

    It bothers me sometimes that I always have to be a dedicated listener for them but they can't seem to return the favor.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  6. #26
    Junior Member maxk299's Avatar
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    In my experience ENFPs are better listeners for Ts than for Fs.
    Oerkiltron says:
    What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day.

  7. #27
    Welcome to Sunnyside Mondo's Avatar
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    ENFP's good listeners- not really.
    They are better than the ENTP's and ESFP's though.
    A lot of Extraverts aren't that great of listeners. I would say the ENFJ and ESFJ are the best of listeners with the ENFP and ESTJ (guardian-ish reasons of course) making out the Top 4.
    MBTI Type: iNTj
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  8. #28
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IEE623 View Post
    I think I'm a good listener as well, but mostly based on those factors Little Linguist mentioned above. I also can elaborate almost any conversation about anything. However, I do have a problem talking about myself *_* Does any ENFP have the same problem?

    .
    Little Linguist summed it up pretty well for me.

    IEE - I have a problem talking about myself as well too. When someone asks me about how I feel about something -- it is much too hard for me to put into works, too many damn variables. And if I do, I worry about things I forgot to list as being an exception or whatever. I find it very hard to describe myself.
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

  9. #29
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    I have to close friends that test as ENFP. They both are good listeners to an extent. They get bored after labout 5 to 10 minutes though.

    It bothers me sometimes that I always have to be a dedicated listener for them but they can't seem to return the favor.

    I am worried sometimes that my friends think this about me. What I fear they don't understand and I really don't want to point it out (but alas, I guess it shows as being a bad listener) -- is that I got it within the first five minutes. Whatever it was they were feeling, the situation or whatever I already understood and if I had any advice (sometimes I don't want to give b/c it might hurt their feelings) I have said. If it was hurtful advice, I wouldn't say anything (I would if it was a great friend that would know I wasn't being purposely hurtful.)
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

  10. #30
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    5 to 10 minutes?!?!?!?!?

    When I conversate, discussions/conversations/debates can, and often do, last and endure for hours, like many, many hours.

    I have no time for some bull-shit "hey, how's it goin?" chat, cuz, let's face it, a 5 to 10 minute verbal exchange between two people, is exactly that, shoot-the-shit-chit-chat.

    bleh

    Getting to know people, by hearing them out, *really* hearing them out has always been my thing, I thought that was part and parcel to what makes us people-person ENFP's

    `
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