[INFJ] Questions for INFJ's

[entropie]

Im like the Ghost Rider. I can see inside your soul then show it to you I'm elemental and eternal. My agenda is not earth-bound nor temporally confined. I don't offer anybody anything, nor feel the need to, except the fact that I will speak always from the depth of my spirit. So as you can see, being divinely loved doesn't require any human's consent, acceptance or agreement.

It doesnt, but it feels eternally lone

 

[Coriolis]

The discussion of EJCC's type has been moved here.

 

[Kullervo]

Im like the Ghost Rider. I can see inside your soul then show it to you I'm elemental and eternal. My agenda is not earth-bound nor temporally confined. I don't offer anybody anything, nor feel the need to, except the fact that I will speak always from the depth of my spirit. So as you can see, being divinely loved doesn't require any human's consent, acceptance or agreement.

If you can't offer anyone anything then why should they take any interest in you?

I really do like how INFJs are good at helping their partners relate to and feel OK with their emotions. But there's a practical, day-to-day side to a relationship as well, which is equally important if you want to live with someone...

 

[Ene]

If you can't offer anyone anything then why should they take any interest in you?

I really do like how INFJs are good at helping their partners relate to and feel OK with their emotions. But there's a practical, day-to-day side to a relationship as well, which is equally important if you want to live with someone...

First, I was mostly playing around with [MENTION=4109]entropie[/MENTION]. I tend to tease people when I sort of like them.

However, in a way I see this as an opportunity to talk about what real life interaction with at least one INFJ is like. The things I am aboout to say actually have nothing to do with anyone on this forum personally, except as an address to your response and also as a glance inside an INFJ. First, I can't prove my type. I can give it credentials by saying that two psychologists have labeled me as such as well as several tests. The only other candidate is INTJ and since my best friends are an INTJ, an ISTP, ISTJ, INFP, ENTP and an ENFJ, I have definitely taken mental notes and realized they all have strengths that I lack. I am none of those. Although, I wouldn't mind it if I were. I see very positive attributes in all of them.

I think that forming a relationship based on someone's "offer" could be formula for disaster because the very root of it comes from a seat of self-absorption and superficiality. We should not have to offer anything but should be able to freely and naturally share from the depths of ourselves. It should be a side effect, not an effort.

In my own eyes I truly do offer...nothing, make no promises. Here I am, just as I am, hang out with me if you want, and if you don't, go your way and be content, no ill will, but whoever happens to cross my path, whoever chooses to be in my company is treated with respect and highly valued as an individual. It's not an offer, it's a reality. I am a peaceful and accepting person, but I am also constantly being sought after, so unless you are my own offspring or flesh and blood, don't expect to be my one and only. I have many friends, but few who are in my inner circle. And that's not going to change. I've had at least two people walk out of my life because I couldn't "let them in."

And although I am peaceful, forgiving and open-minded, when it comes to certain things I am aggressive. I'm aggressive about maintaining balance, about always seeking the higher good, about seeing the big picture and protecting those in my charge. I'm aggressive about being allowed to create and following my purpose in life. I'm agressive about finding quiet time. These are not things I offer. These are things I am. I freely share from who I am. I live and love naturally. I don't feel the need to win other people's approval, nor do I deliberately say hurtful, negative things, because I have no need to.

 

[Tem]

Man... this stuff is confusing. Lol, my avatar expresses how I feel about this quite well

 

[entropie]

First, I was mostly playing around with [MENTION=4109]entropie[/MENTION]. I tend to tease people when I sort of like them.

What a terrible terrible person you are ! ^o^

 

[Ene]

What a terrible terrible person you are ! ^o^

I don't deny it, not even a little bit!

 

[skippythecat]

is it common for INFJs to want the company of others more than usual?

On average I have 4 hours (between work and evenings) to myself, but I hear INFJs need a lot of time to themselves. This week two days to myself feels dreadful. Evenings are usually pack and busy. What would cause me to want to be around people every day? Hmm..

 

[yeghor]

is it common for INFJs to want the company of others more than usual?

On average I have 4 hours (between work and evenings) to myself, but I hear INFJs need a lot of time to themselves. This week two days to myself feels dreadful. Evenings are usually pack and busy. What would cause me to want to be around people every day? Hmm..

Extraverted types are more inclined to do that whereas introverted types need alone time to recharge (or discharge) after some extraversion.

 

[entropie]

I don't deny it, not even a little bit!

We need to work on that to get in on a fightial level !

 

[oneandonly]

I know several INFJ’s. Without exception they all have hidden, odd beliefs. Of course most people do, but their hidden world seems more elaborate and thought through.
I told this one woman I know that I felt like I had known her for my whole life. She replied without hesitation: ‘That’s because we knew each other in a past life.’ She kept it up too, wanting me to have a past life regression hypnosis session, to see how we relate, because she ‘just knew’. She is also an intelligent professional with a Master’s Degree. She is a therapist.
My brother-in –law is INFJ. He’s very rational, but really a feeler when you get down to it. He consulted with a healer before he married my sister, to check on compatibility. He is a jazz piano player by profession.
So yeah, reason on the outside, magic in the center.

"Reason on the outside, magic in the center" absolutely.

 

[oneandonly]

Question #2: Do you think two INFJ's in an intimate relationship would have a telepathic connection? I have borderline telepathic moments with my two (tertiary Ni) ISFP's.

I can usually fairly accurately tell with 1 look what someone is thinking or how they are feeling.. I don't ever know what questions to ask someone that dont sound trite and trivial so I realize I lean on some kind of mental connection OFTEN.. even if I am not "emotionally invested" in this person and our relationship. I have never thought of this as weird until.. well now.. no one else is like that? This makes sense why people think I'm weird... because I can feel where they are in the heads even if they dont want me to

 

[greenfairy]

Is it common to feel that you are more selfish than society wants you to be and to worry more than necessary about whether you acted correctly in situations?

 

[uumlau]

Is it common to feel that you are more selfish than society wants you to be and to worry more than necessary about whether you acted correctly in situations?

I'm not INFJ, but I've many close INFJ friends and my mom was INFJ.

Yes, it's very common among INFJs, in my experience. My really close INFJ dance partner friend noted to me, "You seem to have a lot of beautiful woman friends." And in a twist that is entirely alien to me, she had to add, "I hope that doesn't sound too conceited." It took me about a day to realize ... "oh, it would be 'conceited' because SHE is one of my beautiful woman friends." (She's 30, and got carded tonight. The guy ended up looking at the ID, and at her, and back at the ID, and back at her ... you get the idea ... She doesn't even look 30.) This is someone with whom I share a fairly deep bond of friendship, vibing on that Ni. She knows me, she knows I don't think ill of her, she knows that she has my benefit of the doubt ... but she still can't help but doubt herself with me, wondering if she did the right thing, feeling guilty if she decides she didn't do the right thing.

I kind of feel protective of her because of that. I don't want her feeling that way.

If you want to know whether someone is INFJ or INTJ, remember that INTJs, like the honey badger, don't give a shit. (Well, we do, but not in the paranoid INFJ way.)

 

[Riva]

INFJs and long term relationships.

I theory they would be ideal for long term relationships but in practice they seem to fail a lot.

Are my statistics wrong?

 

[Daenera]

INFJs and long term relationships.

I theory they would be ideal for long term relationships but in practice they seem to fail a lot.

Are my statistics wrong?

From what I've seen in general all NFs are prone to staying the longest in relationships, even when the relationships are not quite healthy, and I'd give Fe types the advantage over Fi types. XNFJs will stay the longest but once is over it's really over,(door slam much) while XNFP sometimes tend to go into this cycle of breaking up then getting back together, and are more likely to give second chances, believing in the other person potential to change. When the relationship fails in both cases it's the other person fault duh!

 

[Eilonwy]

INFJs and long term relationships.

I theory they would be ideal for long term relationships but in practice they seem to fail a lot.

Are my statistics wrong?

Can't tell if your statistics are wrong. Several problems with researching that question here. Are the INFJs here actually INFJs? Are INFJs who would come to this forum representative of INFJs in general? Is there a big enough sample size of INFJs here on which to base your theory? What percentage of the INFJs here actually post and does the fact that they post differentiate them in any significant way that is relevant to your question from those who don't post? How would your results compare to the results of other types or of people in general (some sort of baseline)? Is there even such a thing as an INFJ (tipping my hat to [MENTION=3325]Mole[/MENTION], here)?

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Ugghhh. It's so hard to type oneself. My dearest assures me I am INFJ even after taking the Step II Myers-Briggs test giving me INTP. (the t/p were fairly equivocal).

I guess it just really takes time to figure it out, and people to help you who know about CFT and MBTI. Enneagram can help too, because certain enneatypes are correlated with certain MBTI types.

Personally I have enough preference with T and P that I can switch around a bit, meaning I won't always F, but I might T, lending me a non-INFJish air. I also am enneargram 7sx which factors in heavily, making me seem non-INFJish but more enfpish.

In short, MBTI creates these huge categories whereby it is hard to get a handle or draw conclusions much about a certain type with any real usefulness, imo. It would be cool to create another algorithm for studying people and their personalities though, for just this reason.

 

[Ene]

I'm not INFJ, but I've many close INFJ friends and my mom was INFJ.

Yes, it's very common among INFJs, in my experience. My really close INFJ dance partner friend noted to me, "You seem to have a lot of beautiful woman friends." And in a twist that is entirely alien to me, she had to add, "I hope that doesn't sound too conceited." It took me about a day to realize ... "oh, it would be 'conceited' because SHE is one of my beautiful woman friends." (She's 30, and got carded tonight. The guy ended up looking at the ID, and at her, and back at the ID, and back at her ... you get the idea ... She doesn't even look 30.) This is someone with whom I share a fairly deep bond of friendship, vibing on that Ni. She knows me, she knows I don't think ill of her, she knows that she has my benefit of the doubt ... but she still can't help but doubt herself with me, wondering if she did the right thing, feeling guilty if she decides she didn't do the right thing.

I kind of feel protective of her because of that. I don't want her feeling that way.

If you want to know whether someone is INFJ or INTJ, remember that INTJs, like the honey badger, don't give a shit. (Well, we do, but not in the paranoid INFJ way.)

I think you are right on track. I totally understand where your friend is coming from. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be THAT. I wish I could not give a care. Honestly, it's a horrible pressure to carry around. And we carry it even when we don't want to.

This has been a hard week for me, but I'm learning to let it go.

Long term relationships...we are good at them, [MENTION=22067]riva[/MENTION]because we can't quit anything without feeling like a failure. That's why we often find ourselves overcommitted. Eventually, we do have to let some things, and some people, in our lives go.

 

[uumlau]

I think you are right on track. I totally understand where your friend is coming from. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be THAT. I wish I could not give a care. Honestly, it's a horrible pressure to carry around. And we carry it even when we don't want to.

This has been a hard week for me, but I'm learning to let it go.

Long term relationships...we are good at them, [MENTION=22067]riva[/MENTION]because we can't quit anything without feeling like a failure. That's why we often find ourselves overcommitted. Eventually, we do have to let some things, and some people, in our lives go.

INTJs are similar, interestingly enough. I ran across this description of INTJs by an ENTP of all people:

The INTJ "Mastermind" Personality Type - Personality Hacker : Personality Hacker

We share the "You're in or you're out" vibe. There's no "in-between."