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[INFJ] Questions for INFJ's

autumnandtherain

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Aug 10, 2013
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185
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Yes. I generally have to observe people for a while before interacting much with them. And it reminds me a bit of a game of Charades- there are some people who can guess the meaning of what I’m trying to convey more consistently, accurately and quickly than others. And there are some people who regularly miss the mark entirely. I generally pick up on this and dole out my efforts to communicate accordingly. <- Most of that is done on an instinctive/unconscious level. [There's also accounting for reliability/trustworthiness, but I figure that goes without saying.]
I definitely agree with this, especially the bolded.


Definitely. I wouldn’t say it’s an intentional filter, really (not that the question implies intention), it’s just that it’s so mind-numbingly difficult to articulate some things. While I generally only get close to people who have demonstrated a knack for being able to pick up on these things without a lot of explanation, it can still be like trying to squeeze an elephant through the eye of a needle sometimes.

Also, I’ve said before (and another INFJ around here has made a similar comment) that often times my internal landscape feels something like one of those Magic Eye 3D pictures: I’ll know there’s *something* going on- tugging my sleeve, wanting my attention- but it takes a while for me to figure out what it is. I need to wait for the thing to slide in focus on its own and I’m not really sure there’s a way to hurry that process. [On more than one occasion I’ve had people angry at me that I didn’t “bring something up sooner”….which in turn makes me angry because it isn’t a choice to take so long to figure things out, and I resent being made to feel bad about it when I do the best I can.]
Exactly. The guy I'm dating is an INTJ and we have such a great connection (Ni-based, I'm sure), but both of us have such a difficult time articulating feelings/thoughts/etc (though he's probably better at it than I am, honestly)... He always wants to know what I'm thinking because I look at him with that INFJ stare a lot (though mostly unintentional), and it's kind of frustrating for both of us when I don't know how to say what I'm thinking. :shrug::blush:
 

greenfairy

philosopher wood nymph
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May 25, 2012
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Question: are you way more scared of what you see than what you read? I am. My unconscious mind doesn't know things aren't real if I see them.
 

Mal12345

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Apr 19, 2011
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IxTP
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Question: are you way more scared of what you see than what you read? I am. My unconscious mind doesn't know things aren't real if I see them.

This is a question of dominant sense. I find that people for whom eyesight is not the dominant sense tend to cover their eyes more often, either in fear, for shame, or some other reason.
 

greenfairy

philosopher wood nymph
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This is a question of dominant sense. I find that people for whom eyesight is not the dominant sense tend to cover their eyes more often, either in fear, for shame, or some other reason.
Does this correlate with MBTI/JCF/typology do you think? I don't cover my eyes for any reason, just get traumatized.
 

bohemian

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Jan 20, 2014
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?
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1.Surprisingly... yes. I was quite quiet as a youth until I was six or seven and I would see myself as talkative and ironically when mos people meet me or hang out with me, I tend to be sort of quiet

2.Um sort of?I try to usually keep things like my religion, obsession with psychology, and my views on oppression to myself so that I will not start confict and be accused of being judgemental when I truly am not trying to be.. I aoso try not to tell others about poetry that I write about peopke whom hurt me beause it cause a lot of misconception unti I get to know them and even now I prefer not to be talkative and when I do, usually I am oddly seen as very soft spoken?

3.out of curiousity, would apologizing about things you say and refusing to read full part of a poem and others get annoyed at it count?
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
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Jun 5, 2009
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3w4
I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...
 

yeghor

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Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...

What if he's an ISTP?
 

Eluded_One

Building muscle memory in my brain
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I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...

I think i have a good idea of what's going inside his head. If only I were INFJ worthy, I'd answer this. Don't want to come off as another fake INFJ on this thread; although it wouldn't be far from the truth -- seeing that I'm not.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
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I think i have a good idea of what's going inside his head. If only I were INFJ worthy, I'd answer this. Don't want to come off as another fake INFJ on this thread; although it wouldn't be far from the truth -- seeing that I'm not.

Go ahead. Might as well explore some theories.
 

yeghor

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Dec 21, 2013
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I met an INFJ from out of town. We hit it off. We had sex that night. He flew out the next day after much cuddling and sweetness. We remained in contact texting much since. Two weeks later I end up moving to his city. I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick. I get paranoid and ask him if he's not interested and give him a nice out if he did just in fact want a one night stand. He gets a bit defensive and says he's straight forward and would have ignored me if he wasn't. Several texts later he stops responding to my texts inexplicably. It's been a few days. What happened? Did I ruin things by getting insecure or was he never really that interested? Should I try to follow up or just forget it all, despite the fact that I like him a lot...

Give him a week to see if he contacts you back. If he doesn't, cut back on your losses and abandon your emotional investment in him.

Mourn for the unrealized happy future with him, love yourself and cherish the fact that someday you'll find someone who'll love you back the way you do...
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
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Give him a week to see if he contacts you back. If he doesn't, cut back on your losses and abandon your emotional investment in him.

Mourn for the unrealized happy future with him, love yourself and cherish the fact that someday you'll find someone who'll love you back the way you do...

Well that was quite sweet. Thanks.

INFJs are all so unique and thus hard to forget...
 

yeghor

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Well that was quite sweet. Thanks.

INFJs are all so unique and thus hard to forget...

Who said truth should be sweet?

Edit: I was being an ass, I am sorry.

Anyone that we love(d) is unique and hard to forget.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
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I think i have a good idea of what's going inside his head. If only I were INFJ worthy, I'd answer this. Don't want to come off as another fake INFJ on this thread; although it wouldn't be far from the truth -- seeing that I'm not.

Are you gonna spill your thoughts? I'm falling asleep soon.
 

Eluded_One

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I have difficulties meeting up with him because he's flying around for work and gets worn down and sick.

When you're into someone, you make time for them, regardless of obstacle. This is particularly true for NF's. From your form of writing, I'm getting the hint that you haven't met up with him yet since moving in. Please correct me if i'm wrong. What he's giving you is nothing more than excuses. He seems confused as how to go about this (through guilt or fear of hurting you) and doesn't know what he wants by evidently biding his time.

If he does come back, and makes some lame excuse, such as losing his phone, then know who and what you're dealing with.

I usually warn others by telling them that it's important to drive the speed limit when courting, or it'll just end up crash and burn.
 
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