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  1. #261
    lords of summer EJCC's Avatar
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    I emailed INFJ to reassure her about something, but I think I did poorly. On the other hand I had a shitty day so I'm going to analyze everything I did as terrible.

    Deleted the rest of this post, which included the content of the email, because I don't want or need any more criticism today.

    Ignore this post please. I'll post an actual reply later.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

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    want to ask me something? go for it!
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  2. #262
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Aw, EJCC, what makes you so sure that anyone will have unkind things to say about how you did? Hang in there, my dear!
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  3. #263
    💗💜💙 Nørrsken's Avatar
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    We won't judge. We know that what ever mistakes you've done will not tell the whole story of who you are as a person, @EJCC, and so far, you read to me that you are a very kind, intelligent, and thoughtful boss who's trying her best to reassure the INFJ to the best of her ability. But yes, please, take some time for yourself!
    Lve
    Johari | Nohari
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  4. #264
    lords of summer EJCC's Avatar
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    Sorry for being dramatic.

    Quote Originally Posted by theforsaken View Post
    We won't judge. We know that what ever mistakes you've done will not tell the whole story of who you are as a person, @EJCC, and so far, you read to me that you are a very kind, intelligent, and thoughtful boss who's trying her best to reassure the INFJ to the best of her ability. But yes, please, take some time for yourself!
    INFJs are so good at that, what you just did. I'm hoping that INFJ supervisee will understand if any of my mentorship is clumsy, for the same reason that you just understood me.

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Aw, EJCC, what makes you so sure that anyone will have unkind things to say about how you did? Hang in there, my dear!
    Not "unkind" necessarily, but I would have interpreted it as such. I've offended everyone in this thread the past two times I've come in here. Plus: shitty day.

    Anyway. This is what I wrote to my INFJ supervisee (whose job I had before she was hired and I was promoted).

    Hey (INFJ),

    To add onto what I said after our call this afternoon:

    You are doing an awesome job. Literally everyone in your position has something like this happen on a regular basis. It is the nature of the job, not just you, to either not be given information or to miss information due to human error. I was in exactly the same boat as you when I was 3-4 months in. Maybe even more so than you regarding details.

    I can't say don't worry about it or don't stress about it, because feelings don't work that way. Just know that you're doing fine and your supervisor has your back.

    Cheers,
    (EJ)
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
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  5. #265
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    That's great!
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  6. #266
    💗💜💙 Nørrsken's Avatar
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    That doesn't look rude or offensive to me. I would be ecstatic if my boss would send me an e-mail like that.
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  7. #267
    Psychic Artist Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    Why do you INFJ fairy folks have such mystical worldviews and magical ideologies?
    Because fairies live in magical worlds.

    By your friendly neighborhood fairy,
    Forever
    everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were

  8. #268
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    @EJCC I'm late to the discussion, but I can't see anything in your email that could possibly offend anyone. If I sent an email like that and someone was offended, I would give up on trying with that person altogether.

    I only know a sliver of information about your questions with the supervisee, but a general issue with introverts is that they can seem uncomfortable in a variety of situations, which can be interpreted as a negative response. I feel uncomfortable a lot and can send off non-verbal signs that could be misread, but it doesn't mean anything except that I'm an introvert, so something like that could be playing a role here?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
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  9. #269
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    From what I can see, you have a good sense of how to interact well with Infjs. Not only that but you are consciously aware of some of your differences, so i think if you just be yourself and convey as much info as you can, you should be good to go.
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  10. #270
    lords of summer EJCC's Avatar
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    Follow-up question before I reply to folks in more detail (hopefully tomorrow). If it's recommended that I open up, at least to the point of filling in the gaps and leaving less to the INFJ's imagination, when I'm feeling strongly about something... what if the thing I'm feeling strongly about has to do with my own work? Or something personal?

    I'm going to post about my work in more general terms in my blog soon, but the general gist is that most people in my department have a strong 3 fix and/or 1 fix and therefore appear perfect, accomplished, and invulnerable -- so I don't really have a good precedent for how to show any emotions at all, in a professional way. I've asked around, and the agreement is to do your own thing, but I don't know what my own thing should be -- or at least what the best way would be to do my own thing without making my supervisees uncomfortable.
    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw + wampus (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

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