2) I think some assumptions are being made here, that I don't know that I don't see the reason behind people acting differently from me. When in fact, that's 100% of the reason why I asked that question to begin with! Yes, I know that I project my priorities onto people. Yes, I know that my way is not always the best. My perspective was 100% just that that was what I had seen, and it didn't mesh with my priorities, so I was wondering why someone would do it. So your having answered my question has helped me understand why INFJs operate that way, and why it is valuable to operate that way. End of story, we're all done, we can go home, this has been very productive and helpful to me.
3) I'm fine with my Te "pushiness". I'm also fine with how INFJs do things. That way is completely necessary, and very important. But I'm not wired for it, and sometimes it confuses me. So it's not about value judgments. That's not what I was doing. I think perhaps the way I phrase things confuses some INFJs in this thread and makes them think I don't value it. But where my phrasing is coming from is: I know the value of it, but I also know that it's impossible for me to even approximate it, so I personally can't value it in how I personally behave -- so the way I talk about it will always be, "this is foreign and confusing to me, and something that I can only ever observe from the sidelines". (Perhaps I was making some assumptions, too, that all this background on INFJs and how I appreciate them would also go unsaid.)
4) I appreciate your forthrightness on this. Thank you for not saying it more diplomatically.